Rough morning

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mama2boys, Feb 28, 2008.

  1. mama2boys

    mama2boys New Member

    I've typed the first word for this post several times and erased it. My head is splitting. Sorry if I ramble a bit. My difficult child had been off all medications for a week, after trying Metadate for 4 days and becoming very aggressive. The neuro-doctor was on vacation. When he returned he suggested Tenex. We started it yesterday with .5 mg in am and .5 mg in afternoon. When I got home from work at 4:30 difficult child was asleep on the couch. At about 5:00 I went in to check on him. He was lying awake but kind of sleepy. We talked for a bit and he became much more animated. So, I decided to give him the second pill. He was his argumentative self for the evening - refusing bath, supper wasn't exactly what he wanted, on and on. He was cranky to say the least, but not aggressive. He agreed that without bath at night he would have to get up 15 minutes early to shower. He went to bed normal time.

    Well, this morning we couldn't get him to get up. He wouldn't shower, he wouldn't dress, he cried, moaned, became oppositional with everything. Not the red shirt, not the blue shirt - ask him to pick - no don't want to. On and on even though he was told he would lose TV privileges, until I said if he didn't get dressed in time to go to school when Dad left, he would spend the day in his room.

    That worked with much whining. He has left for school with clothes he chose. When he left he gave me a big hug and said he loved me and would see me when he got home. Then with the most angelic face says, did I still lose TV privilege? Yes, you did (waiting for the tantrum to start), and he said okay - guess I'll take a bath then when I get home.

    If it was possible, my head would have spun around. I decided not to give him the Tenex this morning. I couldn't see the point of sending a tired cranky kid off with medications that would only make him more tired.

    Maybe we have to just give him the one in the morning. I will try that tomorrow.

    An interesting point this morning was that he didn't want any clothes that itched, scratched, had tags, etc. Everything was "uncomfortable". We went through this once before where he would only wear "soft" clothes. Maybe there is a sensory issue?

    I hate being indecisive - medications - no medications. School insists that he needs some kind of medications. The psychiatric evaluation isn't until August. Probably because I have a cold and got my period during the night I am not thinking straight. We will see what the rest of the day brings. Thanks for letting me vent.
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I'm sorry, we've all had rough mornings around here. Kinda feels like you've put in a full day's work, doesn't it? I don't know what it is about Metadate but of all the ADHD medications I hear more extreme reactions from parents of young children than of the others.

    I would have a private Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation done. I'm tactile sensitive when it comes to clothes but difficult child is over the top and it makes life much easier to have a sensory friendly wardrobe for him.

    Just a word of advice from a mom who has been there done that: go easy on the discipline during medication changes. Many adults don't handle medication changes well so it's a whole lot to expect of a little guy. If giving back tv priveleges will make it easier on him and you, I'd go for it.
  3. fosterparent

    fosterparent New Member

    Is it a full moon? My G'sFG (Twin 1 and Twin 2) changed places this morning. Usually it's Twin 1 who is angry, slow, oppositional, etc. Well this morning, twin 2 must have decided that twin 1 was being too "nice" so she stepped up. Pushed her breakfast across the table because this is not what I wanted. I tried not to engage and told her to go take her Adderal and get dressed so she could go to school. After which she went down the hall and slammed the bedroom door, shaking all the pictures and mirrors on the wall. Now, of course, steam is building in me and twin 1 had decided it was all very funny which naturally fueled twin 2's fury. She's now wailing, sitting on her bed, not getting dressed and I'm getting more and more out of control. It's like a tag team. A no win situation. Two against one and every morning it's one or the other or both. husband leaves early M-F so it's me against them trying to get them to the school bus stop at 7:20. Thanks for letting me vent. Must be a full moon. I usually handle things pretty well, but today nooooo!!!
  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I will second what SRL said about medication changes, my husband just started medications for bipolar, and he is not handling the medication changes well (nor am I!!) Did the Catapres stop working, is that why he is no longer on it?

    The school cannot make you medicate your child. I told my son's school that I would handle getting him evaled and medications, that he was my child to raise and not theirs. It is your choice not theirs. I choose to medicate my child, but I try to choose medications that do not need to be given at school.

    FWIW, my difficult child does not handle most stims well, but has done well on a mood stabilizer (he has a cyclic mood disorder) and Daytrana, which is ritalin in the form of a transdermal patch. My theory is that since the medication is released in a more even manner difficult child can handle it. Many time release medications dump 50% (or a similiar %) of the medication in the body in the body in the morning and the rest later in the day. I think that for difficult child that is too much, and he gets aggressive, moody, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) like.

    Good luck to you, and I hope the day gets better.
  5. tammyjh

    tammyjh New Member

    Rough morning here too...must be something in the air. I feel like I say this a lot but I don't have any advice to offer. I understand how you feel though. My difficult child didn't want to get her shower last night but I made her because I knew she wouldn't get up well this morning. She still had a rough morning and I almost kept her home too. I stuck a note in to her spec. ed. teacher that she might benefit from a trip to the counselors office and won't be entirely surprised if I get a phone call today. We'll see.
    Hope the rest of your day goes better and that this evening is calm for both you and him.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Was your son exposed to any substances while his birthmother was pregnant? THAT can have a huge effect on behavior. He sounds like he has a lot of sensory issues. Has he ever had a neuropsychologist see him? My four youngest kids are adopted and the one from foster care's birthmother took everything she could get her hands on. He's on the autuism spectrum, high functioning, and we're lucky it' s not worse, but his first diagnosis was ADHD. Stims definitely made him more aggressive and worse so we looked on, not happy with the ADHD diagnosis.
  7. mama2boys

    mama2boys New Member

    Well it is good to know I am not alone - just sorry others face this and worse each day. When we were adopting we requested twins. Once we realized how challenging difficult child is the SW remarked - now aren't you glad you didn't get twins!

    The Catapres I seemed to stop working, so we had increased it to Catapres II, but that put him to sleep all the time. We took him off for 5 days and then started the metadate while on school vacation. As I said previously, it caused him to become very aggressive. He was off everything for a week until yesterday with the Tenex.

    He should be home soon. I didn't get any calls or e-mails from school, so hopefully the day went okay. It is a private Montessori school and they have been wonderful working with him.

    SRL, we've been very flexible the last couple of weeks. If he takes the bath when he gets home, he will be allowed to watch his favorite show, Hanna Montana.

    Thanks for the support - I am sure I will lean on you again.