Its been a month since difficult child and I had a mini meltdown and I put my foot down about the rules in our house. Since then things have been pretty good. She "said" she had several leads for jobs that she didn't get calls back on. I don't know if that is the truth or not since they are all through her cell phone. But since it is now the beginning of month 3 and she has no job still I am getting a little frustrated. I have tried the gentle prodding and the occasional question and even given her the information about jobs I knew of. She just doesnt seem to be doing much in that area. Anyway Sunday I went to the tanning salon and when I got ready to leave I asked the manager if they were hiring. They are. She said have her bring in her resume and go online and fill out an application. On Monday difficult child printed her resume and after I made her change into decent clothes went to turn it in. When she got back I told her to go ahead and do the online application. She said the clerk at the desk said she didn't need to do that. I reminded her the manager told me that she did. Yesterday I asked her about the online application and she still hadnt done it. I offered to let her use my work computer to complete it. She didn't. She ate her lunch with me in the breakroom and left. So when she picked me up at the end of my work day wearing a bikini and a coverup I had an odd feeling she still hadn't done it. I asked about the online application and she immediately starts in with "the clerk said I didn't have to do it." I snapped. I told difficult child the hiring manager told me directly that she needed to do it. difficult child just kept repeating how the clerk she talked to didn't tell her to do it and she didn't need to do it and blah blah blah. I told her I didn't think she was trying very hard to get a job. I reminded her we have pools on base that are being closed because we can't find lifeguards. She hasnt applied for that position and the office is less than a mile from the house. She isn't going to school and her plans to are on hold until she gets a job to help pay for it. She is sitting on her ass doing nothing while I pay for it all. She was driving irratically and we were screaming at each other the whole way home. She just wants to be 19 and have a summer vacation and hang out with friends and enjoy herself. Insert eye roll here. I told her when you are 19 and not enrolled in school you get a job and work. You are no longer entitled to summer vacations and mooching off your parents. You have declared yourself an adult and therefore need to start acting like one. When we got home I decided I was going to spend my night the way I had planned to. I went for a run, I went to the tanning bed, and then I picked up Ragu for a chicken parmesan dinner. The whole time I was in the house she was on the phone with the grands telling them how horrible I am and that she is moving out. Screaming things at me while talking to them. I didn't engage I just told easy child where I was going and left. difficult child then decided to call me during my run and berate me. When I asked if she was done she said yes and that she was moving and I was the reason I had lost my own daughter again then hung up. I went home to grab the tanning lotion and she screamed at me for running away from my problems. husband got home and they had a talk. She said she wanted to talk to me. Basically she threatened me saying that if we had any more days like this she would leave. My reply is if that is how you feel there is nothing I can do about it. I told her until she stops reacting so badly to being given advice or told to do something I can't control what happens. I told her I could only control my reaction to it. She wanted an apology from me and I told her I was sorry for yelling but it didn't change the fact that she needs to get a job. Basically she thinks the last three months have been great. Of course they have! Shes been sitting on her ass doing nothing while I work. She fed husband the whole I've applied everywhere crap and that she just didn't understand why I had an issue with this. The best part is that she said she owed me an apology as well. But I never got it. husband is now in charge of dealing with her. I am over it. I told him flat out she is lying and telling you half truths about applying for jobs and you need to stay on top of that. I am so mad at myself for engaging in the argument. I am also furious that she has the balls to try and threaten me with leaving and demand an apology. I am no longer scared of losing her. I have done it once already and this time around would be much less traumatic. She needs to not push her luck because it isn't going to take much more to get the boot from me.