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Rude adult daugther returned home with her baby is disrepectful rude and lazy
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 676409" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi Disrespected mother, and welcome to the forum.</p><p></p><p>First of all, I'm sorry you're in this situation. Please share with us, as Somewhere Out There wrote, some more about her background and yours if you would like to. It helps us to have a more accurate perspective and more helpful responses. </p><p></p><p>I understand your frustration and your pain. I have two sons who are now 29 and 26. My 29-year-old was a "typical normal" teen and young man. He was most of the time kind and polite but he had his moments, especially when he was a teen and still living here. He moved out, went to college, and grad school, and never came back here to live. When he visited from grad school, once I firmly and kindly laid down the ground rules, he complied. No questions asked and no pushback.</p><p></p><p>My younger son was a very different story. He was addicted to drugs and alcohol and his behavior was rude, disrespectful, uncaring and selfish. That went on until I finally told him you can't live here any more. I had to stand firm on that, as he pushed back hard, using every "trick" in the book for years and years. I had to stop enabling him, I had to mean what I said, and I had to live with his manipulations. It was the hardest thing I have ever done because even with all of his decisions, behaviors and choices, I still love him very much.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>So...I'll ask you this: How tired are you? I have found (with myself and others) that when I am really, really, really sick and tired of it all, that is when I start developing the skills, toughness, patience and strength to say no and mean it.</p><p></p><p>Until then, I waffle, and I know many others do, as well. Having said that, it's okay if you waffle. This is not some "I've got to do this perfectly" contest. This is real life, and saying no to our adult children, whom we love so much (and I can't imagine how much harder with a baby in the mix), is not something we automatically know how to do. We get confused, weak, scared, sad, etc., etc. and most of us do a whole heck of a lot of waffling. I know I did, even when I was so very tired of it all.</p><p></p><p>But in time, as I studied (Yes, studied), learned and got stronger, I was able to do much better. </p><p></p><p>Please share with us if you'd like to. We so understand how hard this is, and we have a lot of compassion, understanding, ideas/advice/options, and we don't expect or judge you. </p><p></p><p>This is a "soft place to land." We're glad you're here with us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 676409, member: 17542"] Hi Disrespected mother, and welcome to the forum. First of all, I'm sorry you're in this situation. Please share with us, as Somewhere Out There wrote, some more about her background and yours if you would like to. It helps us to have a more accurate perspective and more helpful responses. I understand your frustration and your pain. I have two sons who are now 29 and 26. My 29-year-old was a "typical normal" teen and young man. He was most of the time kind and polite but he had his moments, especially when he was a teen and still living here. He moved out, went to college, and grad school, and never came back here to live. When he visited from grad school, once I firmly and kindly laid down the ground rules, he complied. No questions asked and no pushback. My younger son was a very different story. He was addicted to drugs and alcohol and his behavior was rude, disrespectful, uncaring and selfish. That went on until I finally told him you can't live here any more. I had to stand firm on that, as he pushed back hard, using every "trick" in the book for years and years. I had to stop enabling him, I had to mean what I said, and I had to live with his manipulations. It was the hardest thing I have ever done because even with all of his decisions, behaviors and choices, I still love him very much. So...I'll ask you this: How tired are you? I have found (with myself and others) that when I am really, really, really sick and tired of it all, that is when I start developing the skills, toughness, patience and strength to say no and mean it. Until then, I waffle, and I know many others do, as well. Having said that, it's okay if you waffle. This is not some "I've got to do this perfectly" contest. This is real life, and saying no to our adult children, whom we love so much (and I can't imagine how much harder with a baby in the mix), is not something we automatically know how to do. We get confused, weak, scared, sad, etc., etc. and most of us do a whole heck of a lot of waffling. I know I did, even when I was so very tired of it all. But in time, as I studied (Yes, studied), learned and got stronger, I was able to do much better. Please share with us if you'd like to. We so understand how hard this is, and we have a lot of compassion, understanding, ideas/advice/options, and we don't expect or judge you. This is a "soft place to land." We're glad you're here with us. [/QUOTE]
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Rude adult daugther returned home with her baby is disrepectful rude and lazy
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