Rude and disrespectful

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Ktllc, Aug 3, 2012.

  1. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    V had Occupational Therapist (OT) this morning and I was really caught off guard when he started acting up with his therapist. Not listening, leaving to an other side of the room, shouting at her to help clean up when she in fact was cleaning up with him, etc... real non sense. A couple times I interveined but I let her handle it for the most part.
    She has seen him this way but this time we both did not expect it (no Partner around, no K-camp, no obvious triger).
    She commented that it was like the behavior you would expect of a 2 year old testing limits.
    I was quite upset by his whole behavior and decided to cancel our little shopping trip (find a surprise for Partner who is coming back) and explained that I could not handle going out in public with him acting this way. I said we would do it later today when he calms down a bit.
    I'm not too crazy about punishing, but today I said no TV for the rest of the day and made him write a sorry note to the Occupational Therapist (OT) and he will give it to her next week.
    We went over what he did, why it was wrong and why he acted this way. His answers: I did not listen to Ms. C, I hurt her feeling with my behavior, I did it because I wanted to do what I wanted to do.
    I also made him work with me around the house (wash the deck and front porch with soap, water and sponges ;) ) and he did pretty good. I did not say this was a consequence of his behavior, I just wanted to turn things around.
    Right now he is asking every five minutes when we are going shopping... "when Dad gets home", I hope he comes home soon! Because I need an extra hand when V is in this bad mood.
    I am so tired of this emotional roller coaster, V can be so nice and pleasant and some other days...grrrrr, just a pain.
    Our lives are always changing and I feel he reacts to every little change so much. My family is coming back tomorrow: could it be a triger? And even if it is... it is just a fact: life changes and it will not stop for V.
    husband is quite frustrated about it as well, all those therapies and all we've accomplished so far is to change ourselves and our environment to help him cope a bit better. V is the same. To make things worse, V forgets everything. I swear, one day he will forget to breath. I used to have this big board on the side of his bed to remind him of what he needs to do. But then he forgets to look at it. Every day, for month: "look at your board" and always the same answer "I forgot"....
    V will lose his insurance soon and it will be quite expenses to cover his therapies. I almost want to say the he77 with all that.
    Now husband is really double guessing our decision to put him in Kindergarten. Personally, I almost want things to really blow up so MAYBE we/V can get some help.
    I'm sure there is harder kids than V, it's just that nothing seem to stick with him...
    Sorry for the vent...:sigh:
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Vent away!!! It could very well be that he was anxious and excited about Partner coming home and looking forward to shooping for something special for Partner. That is HUGE for a kid his age that is quite attached. I know what you mean about life changing with or without V and that he needs to learn to deal with it. It is going to take some work and time to get him there but he is still quite young and with the interventions in place, it will get better. I know the time involved and the time it takes to see improvement is hard to handle sometimes but progress is progress. I wish I had known when difficult child 1 was that young what I was dealing with. He's 14 and acting like V is now and I worry about what will happen in 4 years. I would have loved to have the interventions in place when he was V's age. I can only dream about where difficult child 1 would be now.

    Just hold on to the progress V has made and watch the progress he continues to make. It may be slow but it's still progress. I would love for there to be a magic pill or even a magic wand to make things better for our kids.

    {{{{HUGS}}}} to you and to V. Hopefully having Partner back will calm things down again. He'll still have moments like this but he will learn in baby steps how to deal with it appropriately.
  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Lol, Ktllc (though I know it's no laughing matter) - I'm sure I've had a thread (or two) with that title... I've got so used to this kind of behaviour from J that it doesn't faze me any more. But I know absolutely how frustrating it is. He's not doing it on purpose, try to remind yourself of that. I find i have to act as though he is in some sense ill when J behaves like this because getting cross and trying to get him to acknowledge his bad behaviour in the aim of not repeating it just doesn't seem to work. It's alternative parenting... and must be particularly hard when you have two other little ones. Bon courage....
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I so understand what you are feeling. My difficult child was always like that when he was younger. Therapy has helped but he is still far from perfect in that area although I'll take some progress over no progress.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry! You're in the right place here, that's for sure.
    Many hugs.
    Wish I had some advice.
  6. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    Always nice to know I'm not alone , and it does help to share with people who understand. V, Sweet Pea and husband had food poisoning after eating at taco bells yesterday. Yuck! V slept and vomited most of the day.
    My parents are in town and Partner is backwith us. :) V woke up, realized that Partner was right there and he walked right to him wothout a word and gave him the biggest hug ever. It was the cutest thing.
    At least it's nice to see that his heart is in the right place. We shall see how he handles all the emotion of having his brother and GP and GM back. Usually it takes a toll on him. so yes: I am aware of all the triggers to come.
    V has been bearing himself under pillows and blankets a lot for the last couple days. I wonder if he actually is trying to cope. I should remind him of using his cocoon and weighted vest as well.
  7. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Have you thought about a weighted blanket for V? difficult child 1 always hated the weighted vest but absolutely LOVES his weighted blanket. It gives him whole body pressure, not just upper body. It is much more calming for him.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Ktllc, that's awful. So sorry! Today will be better. Wiped out but not actively sick.