Sad but Happy

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Tiapet, Nov 25, 2013.

  1. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    So ms emo decided to finally open up and speak to me today in the car on the way to her psychiatrist's appointment. This is a rarity with her. She almost never talks about her thoughts or feelings. Mostly about everyday stuff, bullying in school, etc. I mean there ARE times but they are fleeting.

    So she admits to me that she is "addicted" to cutting. Previously the cutting appeared to be superficially being done. In saying that it's that she did it as a copy cat behavior ( her older sister & others at school to be cool) initially also to gain attention. A cutter would not usually show people what they have done. She did exactly that.

    After about 2 years now this is where we are. In the time teachers and other students reported her to the guidance department who in turn then would call me. The guidance counselor this year, who is new, has an understanding with me that she now accepts the reports but won't call me unless it's something very serious. She knows that we are very aware of the situation as is her psychiatrist and are working with her on it. That saves a lot of calls now.

    Back to the addiction part. She said in the beginning it WAS to release the need to "feel" something typical of cutting behavior but now she "has" to do it. She is very Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) on different things and now this has become one of them too.

    She is medication resistent so I knew going into this I'd have a battle because she will not take anymore medications then she is currently on (we really need her on a mood stabilizer as it is but refuses). I discussed with the psychiatrist the situation, which I actually thought she would freak. She did not and actually added her own input. the psychiatrist suggested a medication, one that would replace her current Prozac as it's better for the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and it will still help with her depression. By the way, in case you've never heard of it, Prozac comes in a weekly form. That's what she was taking to not have to take a pill everyday (the medication aversion thing). This new medication, though, has to be taking everyday. Hard sell not only switching but going back to everyday. I asked the doctor if she could give me script for both because ms emo often will react 1 way in office but go home and perhaps change on things (well at least I was hoping to change her mind on this medication anyway). She did.

    On way home I did some more talking to her. She has a boyfriend right now that is really nice, really good to her and for her and comes from a good family as well that is good to her. I KNOW she does not want to loose him. In the past she's had some real winners and the 1 before this was the start of them getting better but it just wasn't quite right yet for "her" in her eyes. This one is. Believe it or not HE is more clingy then she is! LOL

    Sure enough I actually got her to change her mind on this and she's going to try Luvox now. I REALLY hope that this medication can make a difference for her. She really needs something to help her. She's got enough battles going on right now on her own.

    So, happy and sad. Sad for her for this addiction but happy that she opened up about it.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My daughter used to cut and so did my best friend in the world (she died a while back, but she told me all about her cutting). Both said that they cut to be "feeling something." Both told me that cutting is addictive. My daughter quit on her own, as she quit using drugs. Apparently she is somebody who is capable of forcing herself discomfort in order to be more healthy. My friend, however, had to go to therapy specific to the cutting in order to quit and it was very hard for her. She was on medication already. She had a mood disorder. My friend came to think of her cutting as a habit that she couldn't stop, sort of like I bite my nails.

    Is she going to therapy as well as seeing somebody for medication? That is often the missing link that can make things better. medications alone do not do all the work. Trust me on this first hand. If you have a problem, medications can help you feel better so that you can work on yourself and stop doing things you don't like to do but have previously felt too worn out to stop doing. I personally like cognitive behavioral therapy or the newer and in my opinion better dialectal behavioral therapy above plain talk therapy.

    At any rate, I wish both of you the best and hope the medications help your daughter feel much better! Take care.
  3. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    MVW she refuses therapy and has for a while now. We had her in therapy before. The last was for over 2 years and all she would do is grunt answers/responses or sit there and say nothing at all. Prior to that she did it on and off. The last stint was 2 1/2 years ago and we can't get her to go. I've been working on it though. She talks with her worker, who is can do therapy as well so it's something. Better then nothing. We, myself and her worker, has offered her ideas to help as well as some peers of hers at school who have recovered from cutting. I think they have been more helpful to her then anything as they I think are the reason she brought this too me. Her boyfriend helps lessen the "amount" of cutting she does. Thankfully for now she is gone to containing it to certain area and has changed how she's doing it. I'm thankful for small things.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Teens can be so stubborn about therapy. I hope the medications help her. I'm sure that as she matures she will be open to therapy. You're really handling her well. Hang in there. Cutting is very odd and a lot of people do it and most of them turn out ok.

    You remember to take good care of yourself too!!! :)
  5. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    My difficult child is a cutter as well. She also said the same thing that it became addictive. She had quit for almost a year, and had another relapse in September. But unlike your daughter, mine hid hers. It was a fluke I found out. I freaked, but as time as passed, I realize it is not something I can control. She has to want to stop. I hope the new medications work. My difficult child is also resistant to taking any more medications. She weaned off of her mood stabilizer, and things are going ok for the most part, but she is failing out of school. So...
  6. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think it's a step in the right direction - chalk it up to maturity or something else - given she opened up to you and is willing to try a medication is a definite positive. While it can't ever be easy to hear your child is hurting (inside or outside), their ability to share that pain is paramount to the start of healing.

    Positive thoughts for her.
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm delighted for you that she shared her feelings and agreed to try the new medication. Sometimes I think "riding in the car" is THE best place for communication. Hugs DDD
  8. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    DDD, riding in the car has always been my secret weapon with them all. Works very well. I have a captive audience that way. Sometimes they don't like, others they just open up like a little clam shell! :O
  9. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    My friend's son developed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in college about 20 years ago. Luvox was a life saver and changer. He was able to graduate and eventually became a lawyer.

    I hope this medication helps your daughter.
  10. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Tiapet- I hope things get better for her and am glad she is opening up to you :) I will pray for her. Anywhere they are comfortable to open up even in the car is great!!!
  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Lol, I have actually had other Moms say to me "why do you think riding in the car opens communication?" When I respond that "it is just the two of us with no distractions" the common response is "my difficult child is usually singing with the music on the radio.". LOL and WTH! I have a hard time not laughing. Well...duh...if there is a TV or a radio or a cell phone or an Android competing for the "empty space" there is not chance for communication. Seriously sometimes I think that this generation is so focused on outside communication that they forget that THEY can do personal on one. :) Obviously you get it also and it paid off. Hugs DDD