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Sad mother, bipolar daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="Snow White" data-source="post: 699792" data-attributes="member: 355"><p>Tandemdame, I really know how you feel. Giving your daughter the contact information for services puts the onus on her to make the choices that SHE wants. I don't live in the US, so I'm not sure of all the available resources. </p><p></p><p>Your daughter has shown that she does not want or deserve to live in YOUR home. You deserve to be safe and healthy (physically and mentally). I still have pangs of guilt and sadness when I think of not allowing our daughter back into our house. It feels like a betrayal but then I think back to how "sick" our house was when she was there and I know we can't go back to that....ever. </p><p></p><p>My father was an alcoholic. When my mother finally had enough and my father made it clear he wasn't going to go for treatment, she took us and left. She refused to go back until he was in treatment and maintained sobriety for a year. We reunited and things went great for the next 8 years. He relapsed (became violent with psychotic episodes), refused treatment, lost his job, lost his family and the house. What my mom did (in keeping herself and us safe) is no different than what I need to do now. </p><p></p><p>We still have many bins of daughter's stored items in our basement. We became her storage unit during many of her back and forths. We recently went through all of her stored things, donating clothes and shoes from her teen years. Her stuff is now all sorted and put away in the recesses of the basement where I don't have to look at it. It has been somewhat of a blessing with her being gone for the past 6 years. She originally left at 18 but came back when she couldn't get along with friends and they kicked her out. Her rages escalated and for the first time, I feared for my personal safety when she punched and pulled out a fistful of my hair. I applied for a restraining order but was denied. The magistrate here said that daughter should be served with a court-ordered involuntary psychiatric assessment. We all know how that would have played out - daughter would have said and done all the right things and been back out on the street in 72 hours.</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure about US laws regarding eviction but here in Canada we would not be responsible for our daughter's housing. </p><p></p><p>Read more...post more. This group definitely helps keep you grounded and focused on staying in the right direction!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Snow White, post: 699792, member: 355"] Tandemdame, I really know how you feel. Giving your daughter the contact information for services puts the onus on her to make the choices that SHE wants. I don't live in the US, so I'm not sure of all the available resources. Your daughter has shown that she does not want or deserve to live in YOUR home. You deserve to be safe and healthy (physically and mentally). I still have pangs of guilt and sadness when I think of not allowing our daughter back into our house. It feels like a betrayal but then I think back to how "sick" our house was when she was there and I know we can't go back to that....ever. My father was an alcoholic. When my mother finally had enough and my father made it clear he wasn't going to go for treatment, she took us and left. She refused to go back until he was in treatment and maintained sobriety for a year. We reunited and things went great for the next 8 years. He relapsed (became violent with psychotic episodes), refused treatment, lost his job, lost his family and the house. What my mom did (in keeping herself and us safe) is no different than what I need to do now. We still have many bins of daughter's stored items in our basement. We became her storage unit during many of her back and forths. We recently went through all of her stored things, donating clothes and shoes from her teen years. Her stuff is now all sorted and put away in the recesses of the basement where I don't have to look at it. It has been somewhat of a blessing with her being gone for the past 6 years. She originally left at 18 but came back when she couldn't get along with friends and they kicked her out. Her rages escalated and for the first time, I feared for my personal safety when she punched and pulled out a fistful of my hair. I applied for a restraining order but was denied. The magistrate here said that daughter should be served with a court-ordered involuntary psychiatric assessment. We all know how that would have played out - daughter would have said and done all the right things and been back out on the street in 72 hours. I'm not sure about US laws regarding eviction but here in Canada we would not be responsible for our daughter's housing. Read more...post more. This group definitely helps keep you grounded and focused on staying in the right direction! [/QUOTE]
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