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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 57849" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>This is a good thing, Traci.</p><p></p><p>I think we numb out to function. Once there really is nothing more we can do for the child, once there is no one else to protect, the intensity of the feelings comes back.</p><p></p><p>I think we need time to process what has happened to our children, and that we only allow ourselves as big a dose of pain as we can take and still function. For me, long after I should have been adjusted to everything, I kept having those days. </p><p></p><p>That's why I always post that it is the feelings that are the enemy.</p><p></p><p>There may come a time when you will need to do that, too.</p><p></p><p>Suz' suggestion about the ballet class was excellent. Putting ourselves outside our comfort zones and our usual circles of friends is traumatic enough to counter the feelings and help us remember what it felt like to win at something, or to hope for something.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you feel badly right now, Traci.</p><p></p><p>These feelings are the enemy. </p><p></p><p>While grief is appropriate after what has happened, don't lose sight of yourself as you go through this part.</p><p></p><p>Kubler-Ross Seven Stages of Grief: Anger Denial Bargaining Depression Acceptance...does anyone remember what the other two stages are?</p><p></p><p>And the correct order?</p><p></p><p>It helped me to mark my place in the cycle of grief, and to understand that I would go through it again and again.</p><p></p><p>Cherish your life, Traci. </p><p></p><p>One day, I woke up and realized I had spent something like fifteen years running away from admitting what had happened, and what it meant.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p><p></p><p>.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 57849, member: 1721"] This is a good thing, Traci. I think we numb out to function. Once there really is nothing more we can do for the child, once there is no one else to protect, the intensity of the feelings comes back. I think we need time to process what has happened to our children, and that we only allow ourselves as big a dose of pain as we can take and still function. For me, long after I should have been adjusted to everything, I kept having those days. That's why I always post that it is the feelings that are the enemy. There may come a time when you will need to do that, too. Suz' suggestion about the ballet class was excellent. Putting ourselves outside our comfort zones and our usual circles of friends is traumatic enough to counter the feelings and help us remember what it felt like to win at something, or to hope for something. I'm sorry you feel badly right now, Traci. These feelings are the enemy. While grief is appropriate after what has happened, don't lose sight of yourself as you go through this part. Kubler-Ross Seven Stages of Grief: Anger Denial Bargaining Depression Acceptance...does anyone remember what the other two stages are? And the correct order? It helped me to mark my place in the cycle of grief, and to understand that I would go through it again and again. Cherish your life, Traci. One day, I woke up and realized I had spent something like fifteen years running away from admitting what had happened, and what it meant. Barbara . [/QUOTE]
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