I'm missing Nichole, worried sick about her, wanting to help her, yet at the moment afraid to reach out to her for fear of pushing her further away. For back ground I'd say go over to PE, but the first post on this mess needed to be deleted for snooping purposes. I've worked through my own grief about bff. It's behind me now, at least the emotional part of it. I don't know what to do with my worry over Nichole. Mostly because I really don't know all that is wrong. A large part of it is her pain over the loss of my bff. They were exceptionally close before bff got into drugs. But there is something else going on. Pain/anger stemming from another source. I think maybe bff's death brought it to a head. Then the whole break up with her boyfriend just intensified everything. I have never before been afraid to reach out to one of my kids when I felt they needed me. I suppose I'm fearing rejection. And I certainly don't want to push her away. Plus I reacted badly to the situation when we were last together.........Maybe she hasn't called or stopped by because she thinks it will happen again? Seems this past week I've been everyone's confidant except the one person who I'd like to be. If she doesn't want me to help her work through it, I can deal with that. I can understand there are some demons that you have to deal with yourself. But I would like her surrounded by people who love her, who genuinely care for her welfare. I would like to be there to listen when she needs to talk, to hug her when she needs a hug, to offer a shoulder when she needs to cry. Most of all I'd like her to know she doesn't have to walk this heart wrenching walk alone. I wish she would come home. Ironic. I changed my user name because she was snooping. I wish she'd snoop tonight.