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Sadcat in General Parenting has adult son and needs support!
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 634796" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Sad Cat, welcome. I'm sorry you are going through this with your son. We can all relate to your story. </p><p></p><p>First and foremost, get some support for yourself, a 12 step group, Al Anon, Narc Anon, CoDa, Families Anonymous, or a therapist or a parent group or all of the above. This is hard stuff, we all need help to get through it. </p><p></p><p>You may want to read the article at the bottom of my post here on detachment. Most of us here on the Parent Emeritus Forum are in various stages of detaching from our adult kids. Not that we don't love them, we do, we are learning to place the focus on ourselves and distance ourselves from the bad behavior and bad choices of our kids because we have NO control over another persons behaviors or choices. Once we can learn to do that, to set boundaries and get clear on what we are willing to do and what we are NOT willing to do, our lives improve.</p><p></p><p>Often we've been at this for a very long time and we have forgotten that WE MATTER. We have forgotten how to take care of ourselves, put our needs first, make sure we are nurtured, nourished and well cared for. We have to begin to shift that and make ourselves the focus and the priority. Once we begin to do that, we begin to feel a lot better. The depletion, exhaustion, resentments and angers start to dissipate. </p><p></p><p>You're not alone anymore. We're glad you're here with us. Keep posting it helps a lot. Take very good care of YOU. Welcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 634796, member: 13542"] Sad Cat, welcome. I'm sorry you are going through this with your son. We can all relate to your story. First and foremost, get some support for yourself, a 12 step group, Al Anon, Narc Anon, CoDa, Families Anonymous, or a therapist or a parent group or all of the above. This is hard stuff, we all need help to get through it. You may want to read the article at the bottom of my post here on detachment. Most of us here on the Parent Emeritus Forum are in various stages of detaching from our adult kids. Not that we don't love them, we do, we are learning to place the focus on ourselves and distance ourselves from the bad behavior and bad choices of our kids because we have NO control over another persons behaviors or choices. Once we can learn to do that, to set boundaries and get clear on what we are willing to do and what we are NOT willing to do, our lives improve. Often we've been at this for a very long time and we have forgotten that WE MATTER. We have forgotten how to take care of ourselves, put our needs first, make sure we are nurtured, nourished and well cared for. We have to begin to shift that and make ourselves the focus and the priority. Once we begin to do that, we begin to feel a lot better. The depletion, exhaustion, resentments and angers start to dissipate. You're not alone anymore. We're glad you're here with us. Keep posting it helps a lot. Take very good care of YOU. Welcome. [/QUOTE]
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Sadcat in General Parenting has adult son and needs support!
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