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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 704497" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Erin, welcome and I am glad that you found us. You sound like you have a realistic view on things and I hope your son will be one of the ones that is willing to change.</p><p></p><p>Please understand that many of us here have walked this road and are just sharing our stories. Take what works for you and leave the rest. I will say, though, that the extent of your son's drug use is probably a lot worse than you think. None of us want to believe how bad it is but later learn the true extent of the problem after our loved ones get sober and share their stories. </p><p></p><p>You have a great plan in place. The hard part is enforcing it. Calling the police on your child if you find drugs in the house is so hard for a parent to do. I was not able to do it but we did hire an interventionist who helped us force our daughter out of our home and into a three month rehab program in another state. Sadly, she started using again as soon as she got out.</p><p></p><p>On a positive note, after 12 years of hell and multiple rehab programs and halfway houses, our daughter made the decision to get sober. She recently celebrated her 9 month sobriety date and has held down a full time job for six months and is doing well. I know that every day is a gift and am cautiously optimistic. The bottom line, though, was that it didn't happen until she made the decision to quit. One of her favorite things to say is "I don't have to live like that anymore." She is a different person now and has surrounded herself with others in recovery and voluntarily lives in a transition house. She goes to NA meetings religiously and is very close to her sponsor. </p><p></p><p>It took me two years of private therapy to learn that there wasn't a single thing I could do to make her change. All I could do was change my behavior and my responses to her behavior. My therapist helped me set firm boundaries and once my husband and I stopped enabling our daughter, she started to become responsible for herself.</p><p></p><p>You are starting down a long journey and have found a great place for support and understanding. We will give advice based on our experiences but realize that there is no one right answer. All any of us can do is take it day by day and do the best we can do. No one will judge you for your decisions.</p><p></p><p>{{{hugs}}}</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 704497, member: 1967"] Erin, welcome and I am glad that you found us. You sound like you have a realistic view on things and I hope your son will be one of the ones that is willing to change. Please understand that many of us here have walked this road and are just sharing our stories. Take what works for you and leave the rest. I will say, though, that the extent of your son's drug use is probably a lot worse than you think. None of us want to believe how bad it is but later learn the true extent of the problem after our loved ones get sober and share their stories. You have a great plan in place. The hard part is enforcing it. Calling the police on your child if you find drugs in the house is so hard for a parent to do. I was not able to do it but we did hire an interventionist who helped us force our daughter out of our home and into a three month rehab program in another state. Sadly, she started using again as soon as she got out. On a positive note, after 12 years of hell and multiple rehab programs and halfway houses, our daughter made the decision to get sober. She recently celebrated her 9 month sobriety date and has held down a full time job for six months and is doing well. I know that every day is a gift and am cautiously optimistic. The bottom line, though, was that it didn't happen until she made the decision to quit. One of her favorite things to say is "I don't have to live like that anymore." She is a different person now and has surrounded herself with others in recovery and voluntarily lives in a transition house. She goes to NA meetings religiously and is very close to her sponsor. It took me two years of private therapy to learn that there wasn't a single thing I could do to make her change. All I could do was change my behavior and my responses to her behavior. My therapist helped me set firm boundaries and once my husband and I stopped enabling our daughter, she started to become responsible for herself. You are starting down a long journey and have found a great place for support and understanding. We will give advice based on our experiences but realize that there is no one right answer. All any of us can do is take it day by day and do the best we can do. No one will judge you for your decisions. {{{hugs}}} ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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