safe to say i think she has an eating disorder

[Josie]

A few years ago, my daughter went through all of the SSRI's and had side effects, including disinhibition, twitching, stomach ache, probably more. I thought we would not be able to use them. However, last year, we started her on a tiny amount of Lexapro (2.5 mg) and kept her there for months. We might have even started at 1.25 mg for a week or two. Slowly, we have increased her to 10 mg. So far, I haven't noticed any side effects. So I wouldn't rule out SSRI's completely forever. Maybe, like others have said, if she is on a mood stabilizer, that will help.

My daughter's main psychiatric problem now is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). In the past, she has displayed hyperactivity and raging. One psychiatrist told me she would end up with a bipolar diagnosis and another one did diagnosis her with mood disorder-not otherwise specified. Still, she is able to take an SSRI without a mood stabilizer, so probably she isn't bipolar. She hasn't raged in a long time and is no longer so sensitive about any perceived criticism. One psychiatrist told me they thought her anxiety was causing her hyperactivity and her ADHD type symptoms.

She has also struggled with getting to sleep in the past. She is now taking Remeron to help with her sleep and to help her gain weight. She went through a time of having no appetite and was too skinny. The Remeron caused her to gain 12 lbs pretty quickly.

I think my daughter has a sort of eating disorder, too. She has been told by her doctor that she needs to eat meat to help her health. She has a constant headache. She is a committed vegetarian and will not do it, even when she is told her health might depend on it. As a non-vegetarian, I feel it is disorderd to stick with a diet when a doctor tells you to change it. She has an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) thing about animals so that is why I think her vegetarianism is all wrapped up with her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). In my reading of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), I have noticed that eating disorders are thought to be related to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder.

So I guess my point is not everything that looks like bipolar is bipolar and I would tell the doctor about your SSRI experiences but not tell him you won't consider it. A lot of your daughter's problems could be stemming from anxiety and if you rule out SSRI's and anxiety medications, you might be too limiting.

 

[TerryJ2]

Your husband sounds great. He's right. You've got to take care of yourself. Maybe visiting this board helps a bit? You will be an expert in all this before you know it. We've all become unwilling "experts."
You advice to your ex is very good. I just hope he takes it. Maybe you could plant an idea in your difficult child's mind that sometimes your ex is prone to exaggeration or "little old lady stressing" so that she won't take it too much to heart if he says something? Of course, you don't want her to repeat anything, either. Sigh.

I'm glad you've spoken with-the dr in between.

Hugs.

 

[Jena]

Hope
I'm glad you found a combo that works. it def. isn't easy, i've been playing this game for years. I agree with-you that there are times that medications won't work and than if you re approach it again they might. So many factor's involved in it, especially their own bio chemical make up that tends to change especially when they hit their pre puberty years. I am going to listen to the dr. on tuesday,supply him with-the info he needs and see what he has to say about it and what he thinks the best approach at this point will be. I got past wanting to know the true diagnosis years ago. I found myself too caught up with-getting the diagnosis as opposed to simplying and looking at the behaviors and treating those and the symptoms. The only time i focus on the diagnosis is during school meetings, because all too many times the diagnosis is what will get difficult child the accommodations she needs.

everytime a dr. would diagnosis bipolar i'd run for the hills, i had about 3 pysch doctor's in total i think state that was it was, and the neuropysch at columbia hospital diagnosis manic depressive episode and than said but that's not bipolar. hmmm all a word play. years ago it was known as manic depressive, now its' bipolar.

Terry - yes he is. he's been a huge support for me with-difficult child not dealing with-her that's mainly me, yet with-allowing me to vent at the end of his 16 hr. day and than like yesterday pushing me to take care of me when i'm ready to clean, organize and run my butt off as usual. i'm lucky. hope you enjoyed your break also. Yes being here does help. yet there are times it can all get to be a bit too much so i have to know when to step away and take a break also. i have to constantly work at not letting this run my life and making it the focal point ya know?

 

[Marguerite]

Re sending her to school tomorrow or not - we had similar problems with difficult child 3's anxiety before we pulled him out. He was increasingly missing school (or they were sending him home) and we were having a difficult time making the decision to send him (and have him fail and be sent home 'sick') or keep him home and have him feel rewarded for being sick.

So we brought in the rule "school work during school hours". The only way out is to sleep. No having a sick kid home wrapped up in blankets watching TV. If the kid is well enough to watch TV, the kid can watch an educational documentary. Or if the kid is well enough to play computer games, they can be educational programs. if the kid is well enough to read a book, it can be a textbook. I would beg schoolwork from the teacher, plus I laid in a stash of my own educational supplies so we never ran out. If difficult child 3 said he was too sick to work, I told him to go to bed and sleep; he could work when he woke up. He will only sleep if he really needs it or is really ill.

So for us now - even a fever won't stop difficult child 3 doing schoolwork. It set us up with a good ground rule for when we did begin home schooling/correspondence.

I would vote for not sending her tomorrow, but making sure she gets some schoolwork done The first area to start with, is any outstanding homework or assignments. Put the time to good use.

Marg

 

[Jena]

marg,

yes so hard isnt' it for us parents? always. it's like we are god to our kids lol. alot of responsibility and we make mistakes because we are human.

i stopped pulling difficult child out 2 years ago, she utilized the pysch in last school, the nurse. the only way she got out or stayed home was vomit and i had to see it or a fever. dr thinks i should send her, my gut says send her. she has school refusal issues as you know and remember from years past. she is also very smart and can be quite manipulative. if she sees ooh this will get me out of school it'll never stop. truly.

she walks in tonight with-ex h and first thing he says is she didnt' eat much today at all and hugs her. oh man ofcourse as usual he does exactly what i told him not to do. within 5 min she was crying after he left saying i'm going to die etc. look at my arms. i said ok i let her vent than i said did you have a shake today? she said yes 2. i said wow that's great. and now it's time for the shower. i dont' feed into it at all. now that's the therapist in me/nurse. the mom in me wants to fall right in and say oh baby i know it'll be ok, etc. yet i've come to learn with her you just can't do it, very few times i can when anxiety is bad late at night. because she takes it, uses it becomes highly dramatic (where'd she get that from .... ha ha). she's now in shower singing.

not saying i dont' have a huge problem going on. no doubt i do. bet. all the other junk now this, i sat in bathroom last night and cried for about ten min. alone. that's how i empty my cup sort of thing. yet i have to proceed level headed, stick to the routine, and act totally normal.

i purposely got all my junk done so i can haul it to 3 if necessary tonight with-her. we are going to do nails for school tmrw. husband is trying to find her a thermos right now at place next to the restaraunt so i can pack her drink tmrw. with-some other stuff i picked up. went shopping today loaded up with-farina, pancakes, bananas, oatmeal all soft junk. i have my step kids tmrw. so she may just eat with-them here, we'll see.

 

[Jena]

and sooo happy to be heading to dr. on tuesday with-her. that's the day i'll keep her out. tmrw it'll be one of those i'll send her in and cringe til i pick her up. ex h though man he just kills me. i'll tell you he's a good man under all his own junk yet he makes her worse each time he has her. it's been giong on for years now. he discusses 2012 with the kid, up till two years ago watched a few end of world movies with-her till i put a stop to that once i found out. he means well yet makes parenting her harder. yet hes also suffering from mental illness, that's where majority of it comes from and i blessed her with-my obsessional thinking.