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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 674620" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Sad, I am sorry for your troubles, this has been a long haul for you.</p><p>God bless you two, for the great work you have done with fostering children. I cannot imagine starting all over at my age, which is what you have done with your 14 year old son. This takes a lot of love, dedication and heart.</p><p>When we are nice, kind hearted people, like you are, sometimes we are taken advantage of. We do not expect this to happen with our own, but it does. Your son has taken advantage of your kindness. He is fully capable of taking care of himself. He is off the drug, but still exhibits the behaviors. This is unacceptable.</p><p></p><p>So, you paid for his dental, (which must have cost a lot) and all he can do is grumble? Not nice. Too bad.</p><p>Do not fall into his game. See it for what it is. Manipulation.</p><p>His girlfriend does not have a right to try to guilt you into taking him in.</p><p>He is an adult, able to take care of himself if he chooses.</p><p>He is an adult child, who does not appreciate what you have done for him, and does not respect you. Off he goes.</p><p></p><p>Your focus is on your 14 year old. He needs you.</p><p></p><p>I have decided not to mention rehab to my two, they know what is available. No sense grabbing a cat by the tail, you know? Keep conversations short and sweet.</p><p></p><p>You have the "button". It is your call, how to handle this, not his.</p><p>He is using your kindness.</p><p></p><p>Kind people can and do set boundaries and limits.</p><p></p><p>Be kind to yourself!</p><p></p><p>Please take care, and work on rebuilding and restrengthening YOU. You matter!</p><p>You only have control over what you do, not anyone else.</p><p></p><p>Others will come along, you are not alone. Keep posting and sharing, it really helps.</p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 674620, member: 19522"] Hi Sad, I am sorry for your troubles, this has been a long haul for you. God bless you two, for the great work you have done with fostering children. I cannot imagine starting all over at my age, which is what you have done with your 14 year old son. This takes a lot of love, dedication and heart. When we are nice, kind hearted people, like you are, sometimes we are taken advantage of. We do not expect this to happen with our own, but it does. Your son has taken advantage of your kindness. He is fully capable of taking care of himself. He is off the drug, but still exhibits the behaviors. This is unacceptable. So, you paid for his dental, (which must have cost a lot) and all he can do is grumble? Not nice. Too bad. Do not fall into his game. See it for what it is. Manipulation. His girlfriend does not have a right to try to guilt you into taking him in. He is an adult, able to take care of himself if he chooses. He is an adult child, who does not appreciate what you have done for him, and does not respect you. Off he goes. Your focus is on your 14 year old. He needs you. I have decided not to mention rehab to my two, they know what is available. No sense grabbing a cat by the tail, you know? Keep conversations short and sweet. You have the "button". It is your call, how to handle this, not his. He is using your kindness. Kind people can and do set boundaries and limits. Be kind to yourself! Please take care, and work on rebuilding and restrengthening YOU. You matter! You only have control over what you do, not anyone else. Others will come along, you are not alone. Keep posting and sharing, it really helps. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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