I joined this forum when I was ready to commit myself to a psychiatric ward! My son was 33yo at the time. I learned to detach (thanks to this forum) and MY emotional state did improve. Horrible, tragic things have happened in my son's life. Many he created. He is now 40yo, and still does not have a stable life. His long term girlfriend committed suicide and he was drinking heavily, I'm sure drugs too. I waited for the call that he either OD'd or committed suicide. He is now involved with a woman with three children. Of course, she needs financial help! He was always asking for money before he met her, now it's constant. She was close to living on the streets and I helped them get into what I hoped was a temporary situation. It never is! They have lived in the hotel for over one year. I went to visit my daughter in Florida this past weekend and invited my son, the new girlfriend, and the kids to visit me for the day. I told him I would give him gas money, I knew they could not afford the drive to the beach without it. I was staying on the beach and I knew the children would love it. They did. I took them out to eat, all of the restaurants are pricey, the youngest wants to order lobster and dessert, lol. I don't think so! My son used to order steak when I took him out to eat, this time as he brought four extra people, he ordered a steak sandwich. The children think I'm rich, I'm not. I worked hard and have a pension. My husband and I spend money carefully. My husbands relatives are always asking for money too. I feel like that's the only thing we are wanted for! The mother was so stressed, evidently she is not working and can't find a job. She was working at a fast food place, I have no idea why she isn't now. My son is losing his job due to the man retiring so he is looking for work. The woman does not use drugs or alcohol, the kids are good kids. The oldest is graduating from high school this year. Good grades, but he wants to go to culinary school. That will get him a good job at something like Denny's as a cook. I mean no disrespect for service workers, but why doesn't he aim higher he has good grades? The kids watch the cooking channel and all think they can be rich. Same as sports! Of course, I gave my son money. It's hard to watch children starve. I do not give him much and he was sober and didn't act like he had a drug/hang over. The kids like him and he treats them well. My son looks homeless. His teeth are so bad and he has let his hair grow long. He pulls it back, but it still looks unkept. With his grunge clothes he looked like he could use a good bath. I have to detach today. Sadly, we can't save the world. I also can't support them, nor do I want too. Some children have a hard lesson to learn, they learn it and are able to support themselves. My son tells me he spent too much time smelling the roses, lol. I accept him as he is even when all of the hotel visitors move away from us...…………………….. It was good to see him, I would rather he came alone, I do not plan to get attached to the new girlfriend or the kids! It's too expensive and I can not afford it!