Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Same Song, New Verse
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="HeadlightsMom" data-source="post: 672279" data-attributes="member: 18284"><p>Hello everyone --</p><p></p><p>I haven't been on this forum in quite a while, but was just thinking of you all and wanted to drop a line....catch up with you all and catch you up with us all.</p><p></p><p>Sadly, our son has gone back into his addiction (meth/heroin) and criminal activity surrounding it. Not sure what more to say about that. He's been MIA for 2+ months. Very minimal contact (only rare brief bits on Facebook private mssgs -- no calls, no visit, no other fill-in-the-blank). Yes, this does sadden us. I did tell him I missed his smile and he did reply back that he missed mine, too.</p><p></p><p>Yes, it was very tough at first (you know....ripping off the scar hurts at first, then it heals over "somewhat".....enough to flex the skin and life around it again). But, after a couple of rough weeks, we did resurface and resume where we were before. Same boundaries in place. Same song, new verse.</p><p></p><p>I firmly believe there is a positive to be found in every situation. May not a BIG one and maybe not a FAST one. But there is a positive in here. During our son's clean period (4-5 months), we saw new and unexpectedly clear growth. A good time! We know it can exist. If/when it comes again, we know what to build on and what is possible. And now, during this repeated relapse, there is a strange benefit in it......the fact that it's a REPEAT (a THREE-PEAT, actually, for our son), we know we the parents have the coping skills to handle it. In fact, just as our son goes into his "use" autopilot, we parents go into our "boundaries" autopilot. We know which ones work best for all -- we've been here before. We know this place. It may not be our favorite place, but we do know how to navigate it and even rise above it.</p><p></p><p>I believe with all my heart that, even amid the crazy times, this universe is ultimately a benevolent positive one. So.......I'll see more of what I look for. After my meltdown (I did have one!), I choose, again, to see the positives first and foremost. They're really there......even when I have to dig for them. So, I dug hard for a couple of weeks. A HARD couple of weeks. But I was reminded how much good there is in our lives in love, family, friendships, adventures, learning, laughing. They're all still there.</p><p></p><p>Lastly, told myself that while our son was clean, I would savor every minute of it knowing it may not last. It did not. But I DID savor it. And I still do. May sound hokey, but I feel this continually refreshing in bold new ways this sentiment...</p><p></p><p>"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Nothing like living a sentiment to embed it deep into one's bones. I know you all can relate.</p><p></p><p>Will our son return to us clean one day for a length of time? Perhaps. Hope so.</p><p>Will our son never return to us clean for any length of time? Perhaps. Hope not.</p><p></p><p>But either way, I am grateful for the genuine moments (even if fleeting....actually, ESPECIALLY if fleeting) we have shared.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for listening. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I hope you're all well!</p><p></p><p>PS -- Hey, new site format since I've been here. Very nice! To whomever did it....nice job!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HeadlightsMom, post: 672279, member: 18284"] Hello everyone -- I haven't been on this forum in quite a while, but was just thinking of you all and wanted to drop a line....catch up with you all and catch you up with us all. Sadly, our son has gone back into his addiction (meth/heroin) and criminal activity surrounding it. Not sure what more to say about that. He's been MIA for 2+ months. Very minimal contact (only rare brief bits on Facebook private mssgs -- no calls, no visit, no other fill-in-the-blank). Yes, this does sadden us. I did tell him I missed his smile and he did reply back that he missed mine, too. Yes, it was very tough at first (you know....ripping off the scar hurts at first, then it heals over "somewhat".....enough to flex the skin and life around it again). But, after a couple of rough weeks, we did resurface and resume where we were before. Same boundaries in place. Same song, new verse. I firmly believe there is a positive to be found in every situation. May not a BIG one and maybe not a FAST one. But there is a positive in here. During our son's clean period (4-5 months), we saw new and unexpectedly clear growth. A good time! We know it can exist. If/when it comes again, we know what to build on and what is possible. And now, during this repeated relapse, there is a strange benefit in it......the fact that it's a REPEAT (a THREE-PEAT, actually, for our son), we know we the parents have the coping skills to handle it. In fact, just as our son goes into his "use" autopilot, we parents go into our "boundaries" autopilot. We know which ones work best for all -- we've been here before. We know this place. It may not be our favorite place, but we do know how to navigate it and even rise above it. I believe with all my heart that, even amid the crazy times, this universe is ultimately a benevolent positive one. So.......I'll see more of what I look for. After my meltdown (I did have one!), I choose, again, to see the positives first and foremost. They're really there......even when I have to dig for them. So, I dug hard for a couple of weeks. A HARD couple of weeks. But I was reminded how much good there is in our lives in love, family, friendships, adventures, learning, laughing. They're all still there. Lastly, told myself that while our son was clean, I would savor every minute of it knowing it may not last. It did not. But I DID savor it. And I still do. May sound hokey, but I feel this continually refreshing in bold new ways this sentiment... "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Nothing like living a sentiment to embed it deep into one's bones. I know you all can relate. Will our son return to us clean one day for a length of time? Perhaps. Hope so. Will our son never return to us clean for any length of time? Perhaps. Hope not. But either way, I am grateful for the genuine moments (even if fleeting....actually, ESPECIALLY if fleeting) we have shared. Thanks for listening. :) I hope you're all well! PS -- Hey, new site format since I've been here. Very nice! To whomever did it....nice job! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Same Song, New Verse
Top