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Substance Abuse
same story 2 years later
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 629331" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hey lostmyson and Joprit, I know you both are hurting, but I want to say this to you both tonight. I remember well when someone said it to me, long ago, and for some reason it penetrated.</p><p></p><p>"You're not powerful enough to make somebody do or not do something, or to be or not be a certain way. Who do you think you are, that you are so powerful?" </p><p></p><p>It was said ironically, with a wry chuckle, but you know something: IT IS TRUE. We are not God. We just aren't. </p><p></p><p>We are parents, not God. Imperfect people who did and do the very best we can with what we have today and what we know today.</p><p></p><p>That is all we can do. That is all we could ever do.</p><p></p><p>I don't believe we are powerful enough to cause our adult children to be drug addicts or criminals or drug dealers or liars or mentally ill. </p><p></p><p>We want to take it all on when our children "don't turn out." Do we also claim all of the glory when they "do turn out."</p><p></p><p>You can choose not to give up on yourself and your life. You can choose to find joy and peace and happiness. I know the dark night of the soul, because I have been there too. </p><p></p><p>But I'll be darned if I am going to lose my life because my son has decided to throw his away. What good would that do anybody? </p><p></p><p>Take a break from beating yourselves up. People do what they decide to do. Until they decide to stop. It's just that simple, and wild horses can't change it.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs to you both. Please keep posting here. Take what you like and leave the rest---everybody has the right to make their own decisions. But remember this: It's not about you. It's about them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 629331, member: 17542"] Hey lostmyson and Joprit, I know you both are hurting, but I want to say this to you both tonight. I remember well when someone said it to me, long ago, and for some reason it penetrated. "You're not powerful enough to make somebody do or not do something, or to be or not be a certain way. Who do you think you are, that you are so powerful?" It was said ironically, with a wry chuckle, but you know something: IT IS TRUE. We are not God. We just aren't. We are parents, not God. Imperfect people who did and do the very best we can with what we have today and what we know today. That is all we can do. That is all we could ever do. I don't believe we are powerful enough to cause our adult children to be drug addicts or criminals or drug dealers or liars or mentally ill. We want to take it all on when our children "don't turn out." Do we also claim all of the glory when they "do turn out." You can choose not to give up on yourself and your life. You can choose to find joy and peace and happiness. I know the dark night of the soul, because I have been there too. But I'll be darned if I am going to lose my life because my son has decided to throw his away. What good would that do anybody? Take a break from beating yourselves up. People do what they decide to do. Until they decide to stop. It's just that simple, and wild horses can't change it. Warm hugs to you both. Please keep posting here. Take what you like and leave the rest---everybody has the right to make their own decisions. But remember this: It's not about you. It's about them. [/QUOTE]
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