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Parent Emeritus
Scared and Confused: Depressed brother might be a danger.
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 713070" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi Obitt, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I'm glad you found us here.</p><p></p><p>You have received some very good advice from the others.</p><p></p><p>The main thing you really need to grasp and understand is that you nor your parents can make your brother change or go to therapy. Nothing about your situation will change until you decide to change how you are responding to it as that is the only control you have.</p><p></p><p>I will also add that you and your parents are allowing him to control you all by fear. He is using guilt as his main tool by accusing you and your parents for ruining his life and this is a very common thing that difficult adult children do. He is making a choice to hold onto his anger instead of working on ways to improve his life.</p><p>Whether he is suffering from mental illness or not, if he is making threats of killing you or your parents, it really does need to be reported to the police.</p><p></p><p>There is a fine line between helping someone and enabling someone. From what you have shared it's very clear that you and your parents have tried to help your brother and he has rejected it. Now it has moved from helping to enabling.</p><p></p><p>None of this is easy and you have some hard decisions to make. Again, nothing will change until you decide to change how you respond to it.</p><p></p><p>Your first priority needs to be your safety.</p><p></p><p>Let us know how things are going. We are here for you.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 713070, member: 18516"] Hi Obitt, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I'm glad you found us here. You have received some very good advice from the others. The main thing you really need to grasp and understand is that you nor your parents can make your brother change or go to therapy. Nothing about your situation will change until you decide to change how you are responding to it as that is the only control you have. I will also add that you and your parents are allowing him to control you all by fear. He is using guilt as his main tool by accusing you and your parents for ruining his life and this is a very common thing that difficult adult children do. He is making a choice to hold onto his anger instead of working on ways to improve his life. Whether he is suffering from mental illness or not, if he is making threats of killing you or your parents, it really does need to be reported to the police. There is a fine line between helping someone and enabling someone. From what you have shared it's very clear that you and your parents have tried to help your brother and he has rejected it. Now it has moved from helping to enabling. None of this is easy and you have some hard decisions to make. Again, nothing will change until you decide to change how you respond to it. Your first priority needs to be your safety. Let us know how things are going. We are here for you. ((HUGS)) [/QUOTE]
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Scared and Confused: Depressed brother might be a danger.
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