Hello all. I have been reading your posts and would like to share my story. Like you all I have the most amazing son. He is bright, family-oriented, and precious. Until.....drugs entered his life. He is the younger of my two sons and shy (which is odd as he has always been my daredevil from birth) while his older brother is very extroverted and athletic. Difficult Child had always been friends with his older brother's friends. We did not realize until my oldest son left for college that Difficult Child truly did not know how to be social. He says he felt completely alone. I am truly not sure when it began, the drug use that is. When he was starting his second semester of his junior year in high school ( the second half of the year after his older brother was away at college) my husband and I received a call from the police. He had been arrested at school for smoking pot in the parking lot during lunch. What!!!! It was considered a Class C misdemeanor since the incident was within 300 feet of the school. We were stunned! He was in the top 15% of his class with excellent grades and no conduct issues. When did this start? He was taken to juvenile detention. My husband and I talked and decided we were going to try to scare him, so instead of picking him up we allowed him to remain overnight. Talk about the longest night of our lives! We had no sleep and shed lots of tears. I know the staff there were just as ready to have him leave as I called just about every hour to check on him. He was my baby for God's sake. Of course he was scared and angry at us for not coming to get him right away. He was forced to go to an alternative school for 30 days as punishment, mandatory drug testing, serve community service, attend group counseling and 3 month probation for deferment of his sentence. After discussing and pleading with the probation officers we were able to get his probation raised to 6 months (which we thought would keep him clean and under control even longer to fight this). I would have preferred even longer, but they refused as he was extremely compliant through all this. After talking to his school counselors, teachers and him we discovered that he was bored at school. Thinking this may have been part of the problem we agreed to allow him to attend an accelerated program. He completed both his remaining junior year and senior year of high school in three months. He graduated 3rd in his class and was accepted to the University of Texas. We were thrilled! Since he completed high school so quickly he missed the deadlines for college entrance for fall, so he had to sit out until the Spring 2015 semester. During this time he got an internship at our local university and worked. I thought he was back on track! Boy was I wrong! During the fall of 2014 while home awaiting college entrance he met some kids who he now refers to as "family." I can't and don't blame others for his actions, but I know their influence is strong. He was still 17 at this point. He also found a girlfriend. Up to this point he had not had either of his own (at least that we knew about). I kept thinking when he leaves for college he will love college so much...new start. He left for college doubting and questioning going. This is somewhat normal as he has always been my homebody. After a few weeks he wanted to come for the weekend. Okay, fine, except we did not see him at all! These frequent home visits continued about every two weeks like clockwork. I thought it was the "girlfriend." At this point there was enough about her we did not like, but again trying not to be judgmental. He was being secretive about everything. During one of his visits home I received another call from police. He was caught smoking pot again. They only charged him with possession. Judge deferred it three months being conviction free. I wanted a harsher punishment, but no. Being in college parents can not find out about their grades unless the student signs a release. Of course he refused. Rather than arguing we told him if he did not maintain a B average (as this was very easy to do for him) then he would have to get student loans to continue. I was suspicious this whole time. Finally the week of his finals he tells us he needed to drop a class that he could not pass. He ended up with a 2.0! Are you kidding me!?! At first we chalked it up to youth and new chapter in life. During this time he turned 18. This summer he decided to take a class at out local university which was a prerequisite course for one he already registered for for fall 2015. Short of it, he went to about 8 days of class and no more. Behaviors worsened, he refused to get a job, and decided he did not want to attend college anymore. We started smelling pot in our house. I would go through his room and find paraphernalia and marijuana, throw it away and threaten to call police and kick him out. Things would be great for a while, but eventually it would start all over again. It got really bad at one point and we asked him to choose to follow the house rules or leave. He chose to leave. This lasted about a week. As I am writing this I can see how we messed up and enabled, but in the heat of it all I lost sight of this. My emotions take control, and I see him as the small boy who loved his momma. It is SO HARD! There is so much more to tell, but I will get to recent events. Finally to date....we received a call last Wednesday (July 29, 2015) from the police department. Difficult Child had been arrested in a raid for tampering with physical evidence. It was brought to our attention that he had been dealing drugs as well as using them. It was now felonies! Difficult Child claims we do not understand. He states the drug culture is his life now, and these so-called friends are his family. He says he loves us, but the life I brought him into is a joke. God created the plants and they should be used. He said he feels that he is helping others by dealing good wholesome drugs as well as using them. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? Where did my sweet innocent child go? This is killing me, my family, my soul! HELP ME PLEASE. As you all know we cannot (and he refuses) drug rehab as he feels he does not have a problem. It is society's issue not his, according to him. There is more to the story that I cannot discuss, but I am terrified!