welcome-mat-no-more
New Member
hello, ill try and make this short. I'm also new here. my 18yo daughter from my previous marriage moved out over the summer. she lived with me until she was 9. then she went to live with her biological dad till almost 15 then came back to my house till almost 18. weve had a rough relationship. I wont go into all the details, but weve dealt with cps probably about 5 times over the last 8 years. just going through the process of elimination, and from her confessing on some, she has either called them or orchestrated every single cps call. each time cps grilled us and the other children in our home. everything has been found unfounded each time, but the last time was the scariest. she accused us of smoking weed with our other children. so they were drug tested and they came back clean. the scariest part is that I found a letter to her bio dad saying that was a wasted chance of getting custody of her sisters from us. fast forward almost a year and she moved out. we really haven't talked except for once. she called me about 2 weeks ago bawling and vomiting saying all kinds of things about how abusive her b.f. is and that she thought she was pregnant. now, I know exactly how her dad is, and shes a spitting image. just the other day she text and said she wanted to come to xmas which is at my parents, and bring her boyfriend too. I told my parents I didn't care as long as her boyfriend didn't come, because I cant even deal with him right now. she came back and said she couldn't believe I would talk about him like that and if he wasn't welcome then neither is she. honestly, I'm not even wanting her there at xmas. there has been so much heart ache and pain over the last 8 years and the roots of it run extremely deep. she is not aloud in our home, that is a mutual agreement between my hubs and me. and if shes there at xmas weve decided she is not to be left alone with our children. I'm at the point that she is my flesh and blood, but she is not my kin if that makes any sense. my dad just wants an unbroken family, my mom is starting to see how things really are and my sister is on her way to where I'm at. I guess I am looking for reassurance that, yes, it is ok to walk away from a toxic relationship with your child. I still love her, but I have my other 3 daughters to think about and my marriage too. I feel like I'm a bad mother, but then I think, what kind of mother would I be if I let her hurt one of my other daughters?