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scared of my 18y.o.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 704574" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>It's okay to decide to keep away from her. She is obviously dangerous to you and your other children. I know parents who lost custody for a time of all of their minor children because one of their disturbed children called CPS with false sexual abuse allegations. Your daughter made a similar false allegation with the weed. She obviously is very rageful and wants to hurt all of you to the core.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You can't put yourself and the rest of your family in that kind of danger. If you want to see her at all, and that is up to you, I would only meet her in a busy public place with lots of witnesses in case she tries to lie about you again.</p><p></p><p>Since I have three awesome adopted kids and my DNA son is very difficult, I understand that DNA is not that important. I had to make my son leave because he was dangerous to me and my daughter. Now he lives a few states away and we often talk on the phone, not it is always a one way conversation about him and how the universe is against him...and he gets angry and sweats at me and calls names. I had to set boundaries for him and if he doesn't follow them, I get off the call. I am glad he lives far.</p><p></p><p>I know how awful that sounds but he is not a nice person.</p><p></p><p>His siblings want nothing to do with him and he doesn't care.</p><p></p><p> I am often scared when I think of If I hadn't adopted then I would never have had the awesome experience of a happy, loving functional relationship with adult children and grandchildren.</p><p></p><p>You do not need to be abused by anyone, even an adult child. Do what is safest for all of you. Your daughter needs help. Maybe one day she will get it, maybe not. She is quite willing to sacrifice all of you to her anger.</p><p></p><p>Right now She is a threat to you.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry your Dad and Mom don't understand, but you are an adult now and don't need their approval. I don't know how they dont see this granddaughter as dangerous to you and the others but it is what it is. You live with it. They dont.</p><p></p><p>You are not a bad parent. You can love a child but not like the child. Some love their child but know they cant have a relationship with the child. It's sad, but you are not the only one in the situation.</p><p></p><p>Apparently your daughter is protective of abusive boyfriend. Funny how abusers often pair up with worse abusers. Next time she calls crying about him, tell her to go to a domestic abuse shelter. Don't bring her to your home. I volunteered at a shelter...they protect you. You don't need to save her. She is an adult and needs to save herself.</p><p></p><p>Sadly abusive disturbed adult children tend not to listen to reasoning. Most of us tried that first.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 704574, member: 1550"] It's okay to decide to keep away from her. She is obviously dangerous to you and your other children. I know parents who lost custody for a time of all of their minor children because one of their disturbed children called CPS with false sexual abuse allegations. Your daughter made a similar false allegation with the weed. She obviously is very rageful and wants to hurt all of you to the core. You can't put yourself and the rest of your family in that kind of danger. If you want to see her at all, and that is up to you, I would only meet her in a busy public place with lots of witnesses in case she tries to lie about you again. Since I have three awesome adopted kids and my DNA son is very difficult, I understand that DNA is not that important. I had to make my son leave because he was dangerous to me and my daughter. Now he lives a few states away and we often talk on the phone, not it is always a one way conversation about him and how the universe is against him...and he gets angry and sweats at me and calls names. I had to set boundaries for him and if he doesn't follow them, I get off the call. I am glad he lives far. I know how awful that sounds but he is not a nice person. His siblings want nothing to do with him and he doesn't care. I am often scared when I think of If I hadn't adopted then I would never have had the awesome experience of a happy, loving functional relationship with adult children and grandchildren. You do not need to be abused by anyone, even an adult child. Do what is safest for all of you. Your daughter needs help. Maybe one day she will get it, maybe not. She is quite willing to sacrifice all of you to her anger. Right now She is a threat to you. I'm sorry your Dad and Mom don't understand, but you are an adult now and don't need their approval. I don't know how they dont see this granddaughter as dangerous to you and the others but it is what it is. You live with it. They dont. You are not a bad parent. You can love a child but not like the child. Some love their child but know they cant have a relationship with the child. It's sad, but you are not the only one in the situation. Apparently your daughter is protective of abusive boyfriend. Funny how abusers often pair up with worse abusers. Next time she calls crying about him, tell her to go to a domestic abuse shelter. Don't bring her to your home. I volunteered at a shelter...they protect you. You don't need to save her. She is an adult and needs to save herself. Sadly abusive disturbed adult children tend not to listen to reasoning. Most of us tried that first. Hugs for your hurting heart. [/QUOTE]
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