Scared straight?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Californiablonde, Jan 17, 2013.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    So since our meeting with the DA difficult child has gone to school willingly for five days in a row. She hasn't been in school that many days since the beginning of the year. I am hoping she continues to go without a fight. She scared me last night. Told me she didn't feel good, had a stomach ache, and didn't want to go to school the next day. I got very upset at her. Reminded her that it's her butt that's going to jail and not mine. She said she didn't care about going to juvenal hall. I told her she had to go to school no excuses. She begrudgingly agreed to go to school. I thought when I woke her up this morning she would give me problems. She didn't. She was up and ready to go by the time I told her to be ready. So I hope her missing school days are over. I am hoping she was finally scared straight. Such a relief now that the struggling is over and I'm praying it stays that way!
  2. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Hope for the best, plan for the worst, as they say. She may be scared straight, but don't put all your eggs to that basket. Plan and arrange what will you do, if she refuses school again. have a plan in place. If she does that and you can't get her to school, they will not come and take her to juvie right away. And she will take it as a sign she will get away from it. And will refuse again and again. Even more important issue is of course work with why she refuses. Use this reprieve to work on her school life quality. You have told us often that it is poor, so it is no wonder she has hard time going. And any scare doesn't help her get over that. Sooner or later being miserable at school will be a bigger factor than being scared of juvie.
  3. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    She is always complaining of stomach aches and headaches. I told her she needs to have a fever or be throwing up in order to stay home. She has been complaining of these physical ailments for years. I have taken her to numerous doctors and they can never find anything wrong with her. She never used it as an excuse to skip school till she got to high school. Now it's a big problem.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    For her sake as well as hers... even if she IS sick? she's better off going to school and being sent home. If THEY say she's too sick to be there, then there's no way she needs a doctor's note, right?
  5. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Right. If she gets sent home by the nurse she doesn't need a dr. note. So I tell her to go to school and if she isn't feeling well she can go to the nurse. So far she hasn't gone though.
  6. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Well she started up again today with not wanting to go to school. I reminded her about juvenal hall. She told me, "Oh it's only one day, no big deal." That's when I threatened to call her dad. She begrudingly went. But I don't know about next week. Now she has me worried. She is starting the same old **** again. I am hoping for the best but expecting the worst.
  7. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    As Suzir said, have a plan in place for when she says she's not going and stick to it. Call her dad and get him involved if she says she's not going. Keep reminding her that it's her butt that's on the line and not yours. Good luck!
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    On a different note, have you ever studied up on hypochondria? If she has this mental health disorder, she is NOT being defiant. She is probably really terrified.

    I had it when I was young, and, trust me, you really think you are sick! You need to treat it as a serious phobia. The right medications and therapy wiped mine out, but, while I never refused to go to school, I came home a lot and I was so nervous the entire day at school that I couldn't concentrate on anything other than being afraid I was going to throw up in front of everybody, so I didn't learn very much. My GPA was under a C, and I was capable of more. Even as a kid I had a long list of diseases I was sure I had from brain tumors to MS to all kinds of cancer and doctors couldn't 100% talk me out of it. It manifested with me as dizziness, stomach problems, shaking, and lots and lots of fear that I'd embarass myself in front of my peers. I didn't care about my grades; I was too scared. I just wanted the end of the day to happen. I cut a lot of classes. in my opinion Juvie will only make her worse because it sounds like it's a mental problem and they are treating her as if she is "bad." Here's a link:
  9. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the link, MidwestMom. I used to be a hypochondriac in my twenties. I self diagnosed myself with brain tumors, cancer, and HIV. My mom took me to get a MRI because I was super dizzy and had headaches and I thought for sure I had a brain tumor. The dr. didn't think so but he did one just to relieve my anxiety. And I've been HIV tested many times because I actually developed all the symptoms, swollen glands, sore throats, night sweats, etc. I thought for sure I was positive even when the tests all came back negative I didn't believe them. And when the kids were little every time they got sick I was paranoid they had leukemia, etc. I was miserable. I was put on Zoloft and it was a miracle drug. If difficult child is truly a hypochondriac I really feel for her because it's a night mare to live through. I will bring it up with psychiatrist and her therapist and see what they have to say about it.