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Scared to death!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 47206" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Ok, hugs and calm down. This is a true story for me. I had to learn that a child we had adopted and loved for three years was sexually abusing my two younger kids. He held a knife to their throats and forced them to do things to each other. There were too afraid of him to tell us. By the time we found out, it had happened too many times for them to count. He is gone now.</p><p>It was hard to hear about it and we felt so guilty because it was done in our house, but we did the entire therapy bit with them and also talked to them in detail through the years. Kids who are raped/abused tend to think it's their fault. They need to know from you that it's not. in my opinion it's good that she trusts you enough to tell you about this. It makes kids feel dirty, and they need to know they are still valuable and worthy. I would not try not to cry--it's ok for her to see your pain for her, but I would go and hear. Not hearing won't make it not an issue. </p><p>You get through it one day at a time. Our family is doing really well now. The kids still go to therapy sometimes. It's something you just deal with when it comes up, but I do think being honest and dealing with it when the child needs to talk is the best way to go. (((big hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 47206, member: 1550"] Ok, hugs and calm down. This is a true story for me. I had to learn that a child we had adopted and loved for three years was sexually abusing my two younger kids. He held a knife to their throats and forced them to do things to each other. There were too afraid of him to tell us. By the time we found out, it had happened too many times for them to count. He is gone now. It was hard to hear about it and we felt so guilty because it was done in our house, but we did the entire therapy bit with them and also talked to them in detail through the years. Kids who are raped/abused tend to think it's their fault. They need to know from you that it's not. in my opinion it's good that she trusts you enough to tell you about this. It makes kids feel dirty, and they need to know they are still valuable and worthy. I would not try not to cry--it's ok for her to see your pain for her, but I would go and hear. Not hearing won't make it not an issue. You get through it one day at a time. Our family is doing really well now. The kids still go to therapy sometimes. It's something you just deal with when it comes up, but I do think being honest and dealing with it when the child needs to talk is the best way to go. (((big hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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