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Scared to death
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 623915" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I have not walked in your shoes and you have my deepest sympathy. Although I don't have personal experience I am going to offer some advice based on over fifty years of parenting, grandparenting AND actively working with families in crisis via the GAL system. Does that mean that I am always 100% right? Heck, no! My intentions are totally caring and pure in nature.</p><p></p><p>I have no doubt that your husband has some fine characteristics and you envision spending your life with him and your two children as a family unit. My input to you is this. Your husband can not control his child as the issues involved are very serious and long established. It would be foolhardy AND dangerous to have your SS in your home with vulnerable youngsters. </p><p></p><p>Chances are that your husband really wants "another chance" at parenting his son. Based on his Mother's tolerance for truly dangerous and abnormal behavior, I doubt your husband has a reality based concept of how bad things can get. He wants to change things for the better. Statistics strongly suggest that is not possible.</p><p></p><p>Sadly, and with caring regret, I believe you need to draw a line in the sand before your husband comes home. You have to protect your little children...period. They will have a chance for happiness without their Daddy in their home. You have to make a choice that is painful but I believe clear. Don't entertain the idea that your husband will be able to accomplish the impossible. If your SS is even a visitor in your home...your children will be in danger. It is not worth taking that chance. There are families who live in separate homes for the protection of younger children. It is not what anyone dreams of for their future but it is possible IF there are set in stone agreed upon rules.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry and will keep you in my prayers. Hugs DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 623915, member: 35"] I have not walked in your shoes and you have my deepest sympathy. Although I don't have personal experience I am going to offer some advice based on over fifty years of parenting, grandparenting AND actively working with families in crisis via the GAL system. Does that mean that I am always 100% right? Heck, no! My intentions are totally caring and pure in nature. I have no doubt that your husband has some fine characteristics and you envision spending your life with him and your two children as a family unit. My input to you is this. Your husband can not control his child as the issues involved are very serious and long established. It would be foolhardy AND dangerous to have your SS in your home with vulnerable youngsters. Chances are that your husband really wants "another chance" at parenting his son. Based on his Mother's tolerance for truly dangerous and abnormal behavior, I doubt your husband has a reality based concept of how bad things can get. He wants to change things for the better. Statistics strongly suggest that is not possible. Sadly, and with caring regret, I believe you need to draw a line in the sand before your husband comes home. You have to protect your little children...period. They will have a chance for happiness without their Daddy in their home. You have to make a choice that is painful but I believe clear. Don't entertain the idea that your husband will be able to accomplish the impossible. If your SS is even a visitor in your home...your children will be in danger. It is not worth taking that chance. There are families who live in separate homes for the protection of younger children. It is not what anyone dreams of for their future but it is possible IF there are set in stone agreed upon rules. I'm sorry and will keep you in my prayers. Hugs DDD [/QUOTE]
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