Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Dolphin, Jul 27, 2011.

  1. Dolphin

    Dolphin New Member

    I have an 8 year old son who shows no emotions other than happy no matter what is happening. He has sexually abused my younger children, self harms, lies constantly, intentionally starts fights between his father and I who are divorced,(he finds extreme joy in that one) and no matter how much trouble he is in, he always has a smile. He never feels like hurting himself or others is wrong. He thinks its as natural as breathing. Should I get him out of my home?
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome to the board (sorry that you have to be here).

    How about answering a few questions so that we can try to help you with some advice. We don't have much information.

    First of all, it would help if you did a signature below like I did so that we know the dynamics of your family. Don't use real names. Is this your biological son? Any siblings? Dad around? That sort of thing.

    How was his early development? Did he cuddle, cry a lot, interact, walk, talk on time, make good eye contact? When did you notice that he was different? How does he do at school? Does he understand how to interact with his same age peers?

    Any psychiatric disorders on either side of his family tree? Has he ever been sexually abused himself?

    Most importantly, has he ever had a thorough evaluation? Any diagnoses? I would take him to a neuropsychologist before I gave up. He may have a disorder that is treatable...a regular pediatrician or even a talk therapist could easily miss something.

    Now if you feel he is still a threat to your other may need to find outside placement.

    I'm not positive, but I thought I read about a syndrome where the child always appears to be smiling...I am not sure which it is...maybe Angeleman's Syndrome.

    I would schedule a neuropsychologist appointment. right away.

    Others will be along soon.
  3. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    I'm so sorry you are going through this. Midwest mom's questions are great. Would give us a little more background.
    If he is abusing the other children it most likely would be a good idea to get him into an environment where he is unable to hurt others. Does he have a psychiatrist? Any treatment programs? Can his father take him for a while until placement or treatment is sorted out?

    Gentle hugs
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi and welcome. I also have similar questions to midwestmom. If you can give us some more information maybe we can help point you in a direction. I also believe I have heard of a syndrome where the person appears as if they are always smiling but it is neurological but it has nothing to do with sexually abusing anyone. It is simply something with the facial muscles.

    I do think you need to contact a psychiatrist immediately about this if you havent already and you need to do something to keep your other children safe from this child because you and this child can get into a great deal of trouble with the sexual abuse.
  5. keista

    keista New Member

    Welcome. Everyone's questions are wonderful. The answers will help us help you.

    I have more detailed questions about the sexual abuse. in my opinion, when we live in chaos with a difficult child, we start having knee jerk reactions to EVERYTHING when in fact not everything is or is part of the problem.

    I can't think of a gentler way to ask, so I'll just be direct. Did he really ABUSE his siblings, and continue to do so when told to stop? Or could it have been curiosity and exploration? Between the ages of 4 and 8 kids discover that boys are different from girls. There is a natural curiosity that often leads to exploration (playing Dr). If children are never told that this is inappropriate, then they just don't know any better. The curiosity kicks in again at puberty, so if the initial lesson of that behavior being inappropriate isn't learned, then it can repeat itself.

    It is during this age that natural modesty also kicks in. My son hit modesty at age 5, DD1 at age 6-7 and DD2 still has not fully formed it. She won't run naked in front of strangers, but has no issue with running around in just her panties at home - this bothers her older brother TREMENDOUSLY, so we make her cover up. Does your son display any modesty?
  6. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Oh yeah, it's time he's removed for your other children's safety & for his. My son, wm, was placed out of home due to his abuses toward his twin sister. We became a family of different addresses. kt is safe ~ wm is safe.
  7. seriously

    seriously New Member

    "Yes" says it all.

    Keeping everyone safe must be your first priority.

    I can't tell you "why" this is happening but in some ways right now it doesn't matter in my view. It would be good to get evaluations, diagnoses, etc. But the bottom line is that he cannot be trusted and your younger children are in danger. He needs to live somewhere else while those things get sorted out.

    If you don't have any immediate resources like family with NO children or pets who can take him I would call CPS and ask them for help right away.

  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Has he had a neuro/psychological exam? Is he seeing a child Psychiatrist? His problems are complex and he needs the best professional help available to you. Sending hugs. DDD