Scary revelations about husband - help!

witzend

Well-Known Member
What kind of "friends" are these? This is extortion, commonly known as blackmail, and carries a hefty prison sentence. Blackmailers do not stop. You need to call the police. Your husband needs to speak to a lawyer. You all need to go to a therapist.
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Marguerite</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

Get legal advice. fast. Get all your vital documents copied (secretly) fast. Keep the copies away from home. Keep a small bag packed also, away from home (where he can't accidentally find it).

Check bank statements, phone records, anything else you need to. Because he's not telling you the truth.

Marg </div></div>

I would say that you also need to get some of that money out of your joint accounts and open up an account only in your name.
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
I would say that you also need to get some of that money out of your joint accounts and open up an account only in your name.
Ditto.

Good luck!

 

Stella Johnson

Active Member
I would suggest doing a back ground check on your husband. Something just isn't right.

The only reason I can think of that the parents would hire a PI to investigate is that they have already gone to the police and don't feel they are doing enough.

Your husband's story makes absolutely no sense at all.

I agree with the others about the money. I would start hiding money if I were you.

Steph
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
by the way, and I <u>can not</u> emphasize this enough, if you are going to put some money for yourself aside from joint accounts, do not ask an attorney for advice about this first. Just do it. If someone wants you to give it back later, so be it. But no attorney or judge will ever advise you to take money out of the joint account. If you wait, it will be gone.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Please call your local chapter of the FBI. I'm not joking. That will put an end to all of this. Irregardless of your husbands "mat-intent" you need an expert to get out of this.

Yes, you're being scammed. NO he isnt' in any trouble. And if he is...so beit...better than loosing everything and trying to solve it on your own.

This will never go away unless you call the FBI.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Agree with above, only possible other reason I can see or the $$$ to be given back quickly is that husband moved it to another (only his) account because heis clearing hte accounts on you before he leaves, or if he thinks he may want to leave in a year or so. I know women scammed by men they loved. At this pt, anything is possible. BUT, the advice about documents, doctors adn daughters is all good, esp right now.

((((Gentle Hugs))))

Susie
 

WNC Gal

New Member
Well, no major developments so far. I have spoken with an attorney and he is aware of these two men and basically implied that they are bad news. He will be meeting with my husband very soon (he's busy with a trial).

My husband and I have had many heart to heart talks over the past week. If you read this story through, it sounds like he is some made for TV movie criminal. But I think the other viewpoint is that he really might be the victim of blackmailing. The "friend" who is after the money knows that we have been saving up for a major purchase (and that we had the money!).

My husband truly has a heart of gold and has NEVER misbehaved, been innapropriate, or lied to me (before these two guys insisted that he tell the fabricated version of the story). He only lasted a few hours, then he felt compelled to tell me the whole story. According to him, he really did call her about babysitting. He did give me her name and number when he met her the first day as a potential babysitter. He said their conversation was only about our kids ages, where we live (in general terms), and some movie that she was going to watch with a friend that night. The next time he saw her working at the store, he inquired if she liked the movie she saw. And supposedly that is it. I have complete access to all of our financial accounts, retirement and banking, and there has been no illicit moving of funds, nor unexplained phone calls, nor absences.

The only tricky thing for me is that I still don't understand why he was so "scared" when that character told him he needed money. I would like to think it is because he has such a sterling reputation, his career depends on keeping it that way, and he truly thought his "friend" was being factual and advising him to do the right thing.

I have seen NO evidence that my husband is shirking away from revealing anything. *I* changed his cell phone number so those guys wouldn't have it. I am monitoring his cell phone calls and e-mails. But there is nothing to find.

He (with the exception of the two hours that I believed the wild story those two guys told) has been nothing but a perfect husband, father and respectable professional.

I have tried many angles to see if he would tell me more - "I want to hear it from you, not read it in the newspaper".
"Tell me the truth because if I find out differently, our marriage is over", etc. But each time, he calmly and lovingly says that he has told the truth.

So..... I know a bunch of you are probably thinking, yes - just the way a true pscyhopath mobster villain WOULD act, but what if.....what if....... he really is still the same wonderful husband, super dad, great guy and he was thrown for a loop by these scamming guys who he had the misfortune to know?????????
I can't risk throwing my whole 20 year relationship away and tormenting our kids who have already had a year of torment by our difficult child. I say innocent until proven guilty, and my radar will remain up!!!!

If nothing serious REALLY happened, I think this whole situation will just disappear. As many of you pointed out, if he was truly guilty of something bad or highly suggestive, the parents would go straight to the police. The girl has his (former) cell phone number, after all - it would be a very easy matter for the police to track him down.

I'm still not sure if the family actually hired the security guy or if these two just got wind of this encounter with the girl from something my husband said. The one bad character did a bunch of free work for a friend of ours - my husband said it was probably because he wanted a date with her! (And that dude is still married, but living with his mistress!).

Well, enough of my novel. Thank you for your support, views and suggestions. I hope that the vast majority of them won't be needed. Hope....
 

nvts

Active Member
Hey! Sometimes a duck is a duck! Just keep up with the attorney so he can advise you and your husband about the criminal element involved. There are some really creepy people out there that prey on good people.

See, good people have consciences, it's easy to turn something innocuous into something gross.

Keep both eyes open for these guys...


Thinking good thoughts for you!

Beth
 

Marguerite

Active Member
I have posted in PM, but just to add here - where everything, as much as possible, can be clear and above board, you have the best chance not only of not being exploited but also of anybody trying to exploit being exposed and having the process stopped.

If your husband is totally innocent and this is just a scam to lay hands on the money he's unfortunately let people know he has, then going to the police about it is a darn good idea. Even if the police can't do anything because he got the money back - they still need to know that an attempt was made, in case these people try something else.

How would these 'friends' know about the girl? Does one of the friends work there, or be likely to also need a babysitter? Is is possible that the girl is a total red herring, not at all involved really, just that he's been told she complained? What would happen if you spoke to the girl (about babysitting)?

I would still be very wary - is husband such a bad judge of character? There is a lot more to this story, but I accept it is possible that husband may not know any more than you do.

But he shouldn't have tried to cover it up with you - he should have been open with you from the start and not tried to pretend it was something to do with "bad advice". Because after all, if he can't trust you, who CAN he trust?

Marg
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
At least you've been able to talk to your husband and you've taken action with-the cell ph, etc. I, too, am hoping that it all blows over and these men are exposed for what they are.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Sounds like you have a plan in place. I think that a 20yr relationship is worth investing some effort in to get to the bottom of this. I think something is hinky, but it may just be that your husband is a trusting gullible guy. My husband has run into some scams, nothing like this (having taught high school for a year right out of college helped him be very wary of teen girls)(so did having his sister for a sister, LOLOLOL).

Anyway, I think in hte middle of something is the time to gather info, not make major decisions. Hugs and fingers crossed that these guys were just scamming your husband. I do believe that paid or not, it is a felony to try to extort $$ in this manner.
 

KFld

New Member
That is the part I don't understand. If he contacted someone about babysitting, then why would he ever have gotten caught up in any kind of blackmail. I just hope he isn't covering up something he's hiding, but I guess time will tell.
 
Not much is clear here, but I'd say that blackmail is not likely involved. As someone pointed out, blackmailers don't give the money back (and likely wouldn't take a check, either).

in my opinion the 20K was intended as a bribe, not blackmail. Whether the "friend" suggested a bribe because that's how his mind works, or because he was in on it with the payee, or there was no 3rd party and the "friend" himself intended to pocket the money: in any case it seems husband was worried, and even if his worry was groundless, something in his conscience made him feel guilty -- "The wicked flee when no man pursueth (Prov. 28:1)". A scammer needs a hook of some kind, and apparently had one with husband.

Even if he was totally set up, someone had knowledge of or guessed at proclivities of husband's that bothered his conscience enough to want to pony up a sizable sum. And to lie about it initially.

I agree with the others who have suggested that you need outside help from the authorities. The attorney you talked to is not a friend of or connected with husband in business or socially, I presume? If so I'd find someone else, to avoid any remote possibility of a conflict of interest.

Best wishes and prayers.
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
Regarding the attorney, he can not represent both of you if your interests are divergent. For example, husband wants to stay out of jail, and you don't want to be left with nothing. He's either going to represent you or him. It's odd that you saw the attorney alone, and that your husband will too.
 
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