School and teacher problems already- Grade 1

[laurensmyprincess]

Thank you everyone for suggesting I put my post on this forum too.

First, I should say that my daughter has a seizure disorder (epilepsy). For those that have children with seizures, you will know all of all the emotional and behavioural issues that can come along with Epilepsy.

Anyway, difficult child started Grade 1 on Tuesday. I've been highly anxious all week about her transition. For those that might remember, she had a bad bad time with school in June of last year. She was highly anxious and just couldn't cope. She refused to go to school for several weeks in June.

Tuesday, she seemed to have an okay day. Wednesday, the teacher informed me after school that she had pushed a teacher for telling her too often to eat her ham sandwich and that if she didnt want to eat it int he classroom, she could eat it in the office. She took away her 2 cookies in an effort to have her eat her sandwich. Well, that ended up in difficult child becoming very frustrated and pushing the teacher. Kaboom as Ross Greene would say.

I had a good long talk with the VP on Thursday who seemed to understand the neurological problems that come with Epilepsy. We talked about her IEP and an aide and I was optimistic.

The teacher called me on Friday CRYING saying that difficult child had hit a teacher for some reason. I was already so distraught when I heard this, I barely heard the rest as to what provoked the hit. I will find out though now that I'm a bit calmer. Then she said that she had pinched a child and was being defiant, aggressive and non compliant about things. I just couldnt beleive that this teacher called me crying! I didnt know what i was more upset about...difficult child's behavior or the teacher crying and saying she couldnt deal with it! She did ask for help; she wanted strategies. I told her as a parent I would do whatever I could to help and advocate for my child, but as a teacher she needs to go to her school administration and help me with the cause.

I think this teacher needs to get a grip, but that is another story and problem that I will have to speak with the principal about. There was no principal or vice principal around to talk to on Friday either.

I know they are having an IEP set up for her and an aide, but the aide is only with her maybe 1 or 2 hours of the day, and difficult child still does not even listen to the aide. This is not enough. Even the teacher acknowledged that she needs more support than just an hour or two a day. The childrens hospital offered to speak with the school directly (psychiatrist, neuro, social worker) to give them strategies etc about helping and giving them some more understanding of her underlying medical condition that is contributing to these issues. We hopefully will get a call together next week.

I was feeling more optimistic on Thursday and after this call from the teacher, I feel like throwing in the towel and burying my head in the sand. I feel she is already being labeled, stigmitized, shunned. Is it too premature to say that my child cannot cope in the mainstream school? I know she cannot cope in a mainstream class, but I question whether she can cope even with an aide.

By the way, she is on clonidine but a very low dose. 0.025mg at night to try and help with the aggressiveness, hyperness and impulsivity, but I don't think it is working, at least not at this low dose.

I don't even want to send her back to school on Monday.

Please help with any advice you might have.

 

[Sheila]

I have to run out, but will check back later.

The fact is that teachers are taught to teach and get very little training on neurological disorder and handling problematic behaviors.

As the parent, you can call an IEP meeting at any time. If you feel your daughter needs a paraprofessional with her all day, you need to ask for it. I would hope that the teacher(s) will back you up on this.

"Every individual involved in providing services to the student should know and understand his or her responsibilities for carrying out the IEP. This will help ensure that the student receives the services that have been planned, including the specific modifications and accommodations the IEP team has identified as necessary."
http://www.ed.gov/parents/needs/speced/iepguide/index.html

Attending an in-service meeting or reading a brochure is not enough "training." See http://aboutautismlaw.com/sample_chapter.html This url speaks to autism, but you can plug in any qualifying disability -- the law is the same for all.

 

[Superpsy]

Sheila is right that as a parent you can request an IEP meeting at any time. In this case it sounds like it may be helpful to create a behavior plan as part of the IEP. Teachers are usually not trained in behavior management techniques and often learn through experience. A behavior plan will allow you to have the school's response to certain behaviors as well as a plan for addressing them (positive reinforcement etc.). Hopefully this will also help the crying teacher because then she will have a specific "routine" of response.

Finding the best school/classroom for your difficult child is often a tough decision. I hope that this is resolved quickly.

 

[yayita25]

Wow she sounds like my difficult child at that age... My difficult child would also push teachers and spit at them it got so bad I was afraid of answering the phone during school hours!!!

you need to call an IEP ASAP and discuss alternatives on how to handle your PRINCESS before the aggressiveness occurs. I had t o give difficult child's teachers a detailed discription of the signs to look for when my difficult child was headed into trouble you know the triggers that a new teacher might not pick up on (body language, sounds, facial expressions etc.) Then when teachers got to know my difficult child they would redirect her to another activity and that would help defuse the situation. And yes you must give them as much detail as possible and question them (teachers) in detail as to what occured before the unacceptable behaviour so that you and teacher can come up with a solution. keep a journal, ask teacher to jot down notes and then both of you can compare and adjust to your difficult child's needs.
hope this was helpful...
My difficult child started 4th grade last thursday and I have been asking her how it is going she says GREAT!!! I believed her k- 1st were aweful but 2nd and 3rd were great she was almost a easy child. Last night I got the dreaded call from her 4th grade teacher I could feel the frustration over the phone line... I have to redirect the teacher she is already taking it personal and that is how issues arise!!!!Good luck