School frustrations for difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Feb 8, 2012.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    difficult child had two detentions today. He is really struggling in his mainstream art class. The only classes he is mainstreamed in are two P.E. classes and the art class. The biggest problem is his constant interruptions. I know how infuriating this can be. If you try to ignore difficult child he just gets louder and louder. The art class has other Special Education classes as well as regular ed kids and I know the interruptions take time away from other kids.

    The case manager is telling him that he gets 3 interruptions in an hour and then he is out of art class (and, presumably to detention). I told her I understand how frustrating the interrupting is but did ask if she think it was reasonable to expect him to only interrupt 3 times in an hour? Did she think that was within his control? I said while I didn't want to cause a problem that I didn't think difficult child should be punished if it is something he truly has no control over.

    I understand them removing him to work in a smaller environment if he is too disruptive but don't think it should be a detention. Now, if he is being rude and disrespectful to others a detention may be warranted.

    I got the feeling she didn't really agree with me (not about it not being in his control) but she did say they would let him work awhile and then give him a quieter environment.

    It is so frustrating. As a teacher I would never punish the autistic child in my class who talks non stop much of the day. It isn't within his control. We use other strategies to help us.

    husband and I are quickly becoming frustrated with his case manager and spec. ed team. Last year difficult child was in a school in the afternoon that only had 4 kids per class (for behavioral reasons). He did great there because they could meet his needs. Of course, now that he is in high school they have nothing like that available. Do they think because he is now in "high school" all of his behavior will stop? Seriously they are Special Education professionals they should know better!
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Sounds like this teacher doesn't believe you and I think it is time for an IEP meeting to address this issue IN WRITING so the teacher knows what he/she can and cannot do. Removing him would not be in her control anymore. Poor kid. I don't know if either of my difficult child's could meet those expectations. 3 times an hour? Come on.....where in the school discipline policy does it say that is a "detentionable" offense?!?
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    Yes - I bet on some level they *do* think that "Now that he is in high school he should be able to __________".

    And yes - they SHOULD know better!

    Hope you can get this straightened out...
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    High School is a whole different ball game. In my book, you really dont have as many programs.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks Ladies! We will definitely bringing it up at the iep meeting. I may even go to the Special Education. principal and speak to her. I would really like for difficult child to have a different team of Special Education teachers. Long story but recommended to me by a friend in the know.
  6. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Sadly, our experiences, especially with difficult child 2, are in line with what Janet said. difficult child 2 suddenly became the perfect student, exceptional academic abilities, well-liked by peers, etc., etc., etc., once he was in his last year of middle school. At the time we realized they were just trying to push him through the system, get him off of his IEP, and totally mainstream him. We just didn't realize that the bulk of sped services available in high school were in several self-contained classrooms, where students had many different diags but most had very low IQs.

    We were told by the sped director that this was mostly a rough/tough population of students and difficult child 2, with his very limited social skills, wouldn't be a good fit. Translation - He would be constantly bullied. We were also told at a team meeting by the principal, as hard as this is to believe, that difficult child 2 was exceptionally bright, gifted, and it didn't matter if he couldn't cross the street alone or tie his shoes. These were things he could learn in college!

    I'm so sorry you have to deal with an ignorant case manager, school department. I think ignorant is the wrong word here - I'm sure they know what your difficult child needs, there just isn't any funding to provide it. So sad...

    I like your idea of speaking to the sped principal and requesting a different team of sped teachers. I would request a meeting in writing, making sure to have it hand delivered, date stamped and signed, or sent by certified mail. I am confident that your difficult child will get the services he needs - You're a super warrior mom... SFR
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    SFR is right. You know my experience in HS for Cory. It was awful. Sped there is basically the worst of the worst. His BED room (which is the acronym for behaviorally and emotionally disordered) was filled with juvenile delinquents waiting to go to Department of Juvenile Justice, kids with bipolar, kids with schizophrenia, kids who had CD, kids with autism, kids with learning disabilities, just everything all together. One of the kids with schizophrenia was so far out there he would dig in his anus and pull out clumps of his own feces and throw them around the room. There was one teacher and one aide. They learned nothing. This was a multi-aged group from 9th grade up through 12th grade. If you were quiet and tried to keep to yourself, you were targeted and bullied. Cory learned fast in there to stand up for himself and be as bad as he could be. That was the class where someone tossed a knife under his table in the lunch room and they tried to charge him with bringing a weapon to school. We fought that one with everything in us because we always checked his backpack before he left for school and we knew that the knife they showed us was nothing that could have possibly come from our house. We know what we have and that was not one of our knives. The kitchen people were supposedly saying they "heard" the knife fall out of his pocket across a crowded lunch room. Yeah right. No way. We finally got to see the tapes and you could see this other kid walking by the table and dropping something and kicking it.

    I pulled him out of this school immediately. In the long run it didnt help. He was so damaged from everything school had done to him plus everything else.