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School meeting disaster!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 77427" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>We went through similar rubbish with difficult child 1 and the deputy principal (who was acting principal at the time) at his high school. </p><p></p><p>Kjs, this is really bad. They seem to be breaking just about every rule. To interrogate a kid like that is bullying behaviour. A lot of teachers do this because they feel it helps them assert their authority, but a GOOD teacher should not feel the need to do this.</p><p></p><p>In difficult child 1's case, I had written a confidential letter to the principal, complaining that "difficult child 1 feels unsupported by a large number of the teachnig staff who are not following the requirements set out - none of these requirements is onerous in the least; and there are some cases where he has felt harassed by a staff member. I did not specifically name the deputy in writing, I was going to share this verbally at first. But the deputy opened the letter in front of me (despite it being labelled "for the principal - confidential") then leaned across the desk (she was standing, difficult child 1 was at this stage curled up on the chair in fetal position) and said loudly, "WHO's been harrassing you?" over and over, until he murmured, "Nobody." She then looked at me triumphantly. Cow. She knew darn well that SHE was the culprit, but I've seen her in a similar situation since (I was witness for another student) and she uses these tactics regularly - intimidation to try to make you retract). In this situation with difficult child 1, I replied to her look of triumph with, "He assured me, and I believe him, that he felt harassed. If he denies it now, it's because he now also feels intimidated. Whether you intended this or not, this is how he feels and this is the issue." I also told her we were planning to transfer him to Distance Education (state-sponsored correspondence). She was openly scoffing, "He won't meet the eligibility criteria," (in other words, "you're delusional") but at that point my mobile phone rang and it was t he Distance Ed school confirming to me that his enrolment had just been processed. I told this to the Deputy, whose attitude totally changed. "We don't want to lose him, he's such a cooperative student - well-behaved, apart from this last incident," and so on. It was so blatantly obvious to me - she didn't want to have to hand back the second half of the year's funding for difficult child 1 that the school had just received (and probably already spent).</p><p></p><p>Kjs, I tell you this example to show you that teachers like this are around and unfortunately, not uncommon even though they should have been legislated out of work by now.</p><p>By all means take this complaint up the ladder to the district and higher, but this school sounds like a dead loss for difficult child 1. But you need to sort this out, if only to get his record expunged so wherever he goes (even if he does stay) it is with a clean slate. Or as clean as it should be. He's been made a scapegoat and this deputy is more interested in covering the rear ends of his staff, than in genuinely caring for student welfare.</p><p></p><p>Looking at this situation from absolute worst case scenario - that your son DID lie about stealing the glasses, he DID lie about a number of things - you still were not notified, the paperwork had holes in it which you have repeatedly tried to plug in similar instances in the past, they have violated the terms of the IEP over and over again. And if there is ANY truth in what difficult child has told you, this makes it even worse. But even without difficult child's version of events, this school is still failing, badly. That alone should be grounds for major complaints at a very high level.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 77427, member: 1991"] We went through similar rubbish with difficult child 1 and the deputy principal (who was acting principal at the time) at his high school. Kjs, this is really bad. They seem to be breaking just about every rule. To interrogate a kid like that is bullying behaviour. A lot of teachers do this because they feel it helps them assert their authority, but a GOOD teacher should not feel the need to do this. In difficult child 1's case, I had written a confidential letter to the principal, complaining that "difficult child 1 feels unsupported by a large number of the teachnig staff who are not following the requirements set out - none of these requirements is onerous in the least; and there are some cases where he has felt harassed by a staff member. I did not specifically name the deputy in writing, I was going to share this verbally at first. But the deputy opened the letter in front of me (despite it being labelled "for the principal - confidential") then leaned across the desk (she was standing, difficult child 1 was at this stage curled up on the chair in fetal position) and said loudly, "WHO's been harrassing you?" over and over, until he murmured, "Nobody." She then looked at me triumphantly. Cow. She knew darn well that SHE was the culprit, but I've seen her in a similar situation since (I was witness for another student) and she uses these tactics regularly - intimidation to try to make you retract). In this situation with difficult child 1, I replied to her look of triumph with, "He assured me, and I believe him, that he felt harassed. If he denies it now, it's because he now also feels intimidated. Whether you intended this or not, this is how he feels and this is the issue." I also told her we were planning to transfer him to Distance Education (state-sponsored correspondence). She was openly scoffing, "He won't meet the eligibility criteria," (in other words, "you're delusional") but at that point my mobile phone rang and it was t he Distance Ed school confirming to me that his enrolment had just been processed. I told this to the Deputy, whose attitude totally changed. "We don't want to lose him, he's such a cooperative student - well-behaved, apart from this last incident," and so on. It was so blatantly obvious to me - she didn't want to have to hand back the second half of the year's funding for difficult child 1 that the school had just received (and probably already spent). Kjs, I tell you this example to show you that teachers like this are around and unfortunately, not uncommon even though they should have been legislated out of work by now. By all means take this complaint up the ladder to the district and higher, but this school sounds like a dead loss for difficult child 1. But you need to sort this out, if only to get his record expunged so wherever he goes (even if he does stay) it is with a clean slate. Or as clean as it should be. He's been made a scapegoat and this deputy is more interested in covering the rear ends of his staff, than in genuinely caring for student welfare. Looking at this situation from absolute worst case scenario - that your son DID lie about stealing the glasses, he DID lie about a number of things - you still were not notified, the paperwork had holes in it which you have repeatedly tried to plug in similar instances in the past, they have violated the terms of the IEP over and over again. And if there is ANY truth in what difficult child has told you, this makes it even worse. But even without difficult child's version of events, this school is still failing, badly. That alone should be grounds for major complaints at a very high level. Marg [/QUOTE]
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