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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 77661" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Kjs, you are doing an amazingly brilliant job with this, in the face of some very nasty opposition. Your strength is wonderful.</p><p></p><p>I agree about trying to deal with principal instead, but the only problem is - the principal is a busy person who could soon get resetnful at having to always be the one to field your calls. Also, setting up a meeting with VP and principal both present - the principal won't see his bad behaviour, he will rein it in. It's what they do.</p><p></p><p>This IS about control, it IS about VP (and some other teachers, at least) wanting to do what THEY want to do, and none of this new-fangled mollycoddling of rotten kids will stand in their way. THEY will not be dictated to, even by the system. It's all nonsense anyway; they've been teaching for years, nobody has the right to tell them how to do their job. </p><p></p><p>I've heard all this so many times before, it is why I eventually pulled difficult child out of mainstream. Now I know you and husband both work, so I know this isn't an option for you - a pity, because I think it would produce much better results academically for difficult child (gotta be better than spending time out of class every day) and it would also improve your relationships with him - nobody's got sunglasses to steal at home, and would you care if he was wearing sunglasses inside? Does it stop him doing his work, especially when HE is now responsible for his own learning?</p><p></p><p>Anyway, it's all irrelevant because as you've said before, you can't do this. But it has been so freeing for us - no more phone calls dragging me away from my work, or whatever else I'm trying to do (shopping; seeing doctors etc). The number of times I had to turn around from the city and drive home again, often to find difficult child 3 was back in class and doing fine, or had been taken out of class and given no work to do - at least at home I always made him do schoolwork, even if I had to find it for myself.</p><p></p><p>You are being stuffed around right royally over all this. So is difficult child. As I said before, even if he is being really difficult and deserving every action by the staff, they are NOT following through with the IEP. And if difficult child is innocent, at any time and in any tiny part (as you've already proven) then they are doing the unforgivable - dumping all the responsibility and blame onto a child who is ill-equipped to defend himself.</p><p></p><p>And when you treat a difficult child like this, the consequences are even worse than when you treat a easy child like this. And PCs have enough trouble with this. A difficult child will be set back a lot more and be a greater behaviour problem at home, especially if these problems continue and the child perceives that the parents are not supporting him sufficiently (and as a result, implicitly endorsing the school's actions). </p><p></p><p>At least difficult child can see you are defending him and trying to ensure that his requirements, already set in place, are followed through on.</p><p></p><p>Good for you! I hope you feel charged with adrenalin - you are a brilliant Warrior Mum!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 77661, member: 1991"] Kjs, you are doing an amazingly brilliant job with this, in the face of some very nasty opposition. Your strength is wonderful. I agree about trying to deal with principal instead, but the only problem is - the principal is a busy person who could soon get resetnful at having to always be the one to field your calls. Also, setting up a meeting with VP and principal both present - the principal won't see his bad behaviour, he will rein it in. It's what they do. This IS about control, it IS about VP (and some other teachers, at least) wanting to do what THEY want to do, and none of this new-fangled mollycoddling of rotten kids will stand in their way. THEY will not be dictated to, even by the system. It's all nonsense anyway; they've been teaching for years, nobody has the right to tell them how to do their job. I've heard all this so many times before, it is why I eventually pulled difficult child out of mainstream. Now I know you and husband both work, so I know this isn't an option for you - a pity, because I think it would produce much better results academically for difficult child (gotta be better than spending time out of class every day) and it would also improve your relationships with him - nobody's got sunglasses to steal at home, and would you care if he was wearing sunglasses inside? Does it stop him doing his work, especially when HE is now responsible for his own learning? Anyway, it's all irrelevant because as you've said before, you can't do this. But it has been so freeing for us - no more phone calls dragging me away from my work, or whatever else I'm trying to do (shopping; seeing doctors etc). The number of times I had to turn around from the city and drive home again, often to find difficult child 3 was back in class and doing fine, or had been taken out of class and given no work to do - at least at home I always made him do schoolwork, even if I had to find it for myself. You are being stuffed around right royally over all this. So is difficult child. As I said before, even if he is being really difficult and deserving every action by the staff, they are NOT following through with the IEP. And if difficult child is innocent, at any time and in any tiny part (as you've already proven) then they are doing the unforgivable - dumping all the responsibility and blame onto a child who is ill-equipped to defend himself. And when you treat a difficult child like this, the consequences are even worse than when you treat a easy child like this. And PCs have enough trouble with this. A difficult child will be set back a lot more and be a greater behaviour problem at home, especially if these problems continue and the child perceives that the parents are not supporting him sufficiently (and as a result, implicitly endorsing the school's actions). At least difficult child can see you are defending him and trying to ensure that his requirements, already set in place, are followed through on. Good for you! I hope you feel charged with adrenalin - you are a brilliant Warrior Mum! Marg [/QUOTE]
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