School meeting today for testing results and possible IEP/504

[ksm]

In about 6 hours we will be at the middle school for a meeting with the school psychiatric, counselor, a teacher or two, and who knows who else. I did get the written results, and even though I have been told that she doesn't qualify for anything... I am going to stand up for her (and me) and push for some type of accomodations or extra help. A friend of mine is a sp ed teacher and she looked over the paperwork last night and said that difficult child had a 22 point gap between IQ and processing speed and usually a 20 pt gap qualifies them for help.

My therapist called his old coworker who did some testing on difficult child 5 years ago and had them copy that report so I can take it in to the meeting as the school says they don't know that she is ADHD. Duhhh... they have known for 5 years. Even the behavior forms that the teachers filled at last week also verified her ADD/ADHD tendencies.

Wish us luck. I'll post later. KSM

 

[confuzzled]

good luck! hope it goes well!!!!

 

[buddy]

OH gosh I dont want to contaminate your juju with mine, but I really do hope they understand your concerns and DO something about it. XXOO, Dee

 

[TeDo]

GO GET 'EM Ksm!!! They don't realize you're a parent in the know. Call them on all their koi and make them help!! Remember, if they still deny an IEP (don't settle for a 504), tell them you "want your refusal and your explanations in writing and I will pick it up in 24 hours so my advocate can look it over". THAT might make them listen a little better.

Good luck. Don the Armour!

 

[rdland]

Good luck! Don't let them try to snowball you. Go warrior mom, GO!

 

[ksm]

Well, the meeting is over - and they are willing to do a 504 plan. Says she does not qualify for IEP... and based on my faith in the school system, I am OK with that. I really did not care for the school psychiatric... She acted like all the problems we have with difficult child are just "normal" teen behaviors. She SO DOESN'T realize what we put up with at home. Oh well. The testing is done... and now I can send it to the neuropsychologist office. Then do battle with insurance company. It is just one war after another. KSM

 

[TeDo]

Ksm, just keep in mind that a 504 isn't enforcable by law (at least I'm fairly positive that's the case). If they don't follow it, oh well. I hope your school DESERVES your faith. Too many of us have been burned that way.

 

[ksm]

Ksm, just keep in mind that a 504 isn't enforcable by law (at least I'm fairly positive that's the case). If they don't follow it, oh well. I hope your school DESERVES your faith. Too many of us have been burned that way.

I was being sarcastic about my level of faith. At this point, I have come to believe the less they are involved the better off we might be. I mentioned how I didn't like the school psychiatric... and the more she talked the less I liked her. I guess difficult child asked her why she had to do the testing... and the trained professional said "the same reason I have to give you the test... your grandma asked for it to be done. So I am in the same boat you are".

Last night difficult child asked what was "decided" at the meeting and I tried to explain that basically, she is smart enough to do all the work. She is smarter that 87% of the kids in 8th grade. But, there were some things that just took her longer to complete. I mentioned that the teacher said they all write the weeks assignments on the board on Monday and they can copy it down. Then difficult child started getting upset. Said only the science teacher did that. I told her the English teacher was at the meeting and she said she did it too. difficult child says, well, only the science teacher makes you do it and gives you extra credit points. Then difficult child conceded that the teachers do that in the other classes, but you DON'T HAVE TO write it down. I suggested a notebook and she could write it down each week. Well she lost it and started yelling she didn't want to talk about it. When I didn't drop it right away, she started yelling even louder and husband (not so dear right now) told me to just stop. Not difficult child! I wasn't even raising my voice! So once again difficult child got what she wanted. Create a scene, a distraction, any thing but focus on what she was doing.

So I am done. I guess I am the crazy lady. I guess my expectations are unreasonable. I just told husband he can deal with school work and home work and whether or not she goes the therapy. I am done. Over. Out of the drama. She will be out of the house in 4 years. If not, I will be.

Sorry I am so rock bottom depressed right now. KSM

 

[buddy]

Ksm, just keep in mind that a 504 isn't enforcable by law (at least I'm fairly positive that's the case). If they don't follow it, oh well. I hope your school DESERVES your faith. Too many of us have been burned that way.

Well, it is difficult to enforce. It is under the same ADA rules and so you can go to court and fight that they violated civil rights due to your child's disability. There is not any system in place to take care of things before that point and no way to have anyone audit and sanction and correct things without your doing that and so who does it??? no one mostly.

 

[buddy]

I was being sarcastic about my level of faith. At this point, I have come to believe the less they are involved the better off we might be. I mentioned how I didn't like the school psychiatric... and the more she talked the less I liked her. I guess difficult child asked her why she had to do the testing... and the trained professional said "the same reason I have to give you the test... your grandma asked for it to be done. So I am in the same boat you are".

Last night difficult child asked what was "decided" at the meeting and I tried to explain that basically, she is smart enough to do all the work. She is smarter that 87% of the kids in 8th grade. But, there were some things that just took her longer to complete. I mentioned that the teacher said they all write the weeks assignments on the board on Monday and they can copy it down. Then difficult child started getting upset. Said only the science teacher did that. I told her the English teacher was at the meeting and she said she did it too. difficult child says, well, only the science teacher makes you do it and gives you extra credit points. Then difficult child conceded that the teachers do that in the other classes, but you DON'T HAVE TO write it down. I suggested a notebook and she could write it down each week. Well she lost it and started yelling she didn't want to talk about it. When I didn't drop it right away, she started yelling even louder and husband (not so dear right now) told me to just stop. Not difficult child! I wasn't even raising my voice! So once again difficult child got what she wanted. Create a scene, a distraction, any thing but focus on what she was doing.

So I am done. I guess I am the crazy lady. I guess my expectations are unreasonable. I just told husband he can deal with school work and home work and whether or not she goes the therapy. I am done. Over. Out of the drama. She will be out of the house in 4 years. If not, I will be.

Sorry I am so rock bottom depressed right now. KSM

OH DEAR! HUGS HUGS and more HUGS.... You know what... really do it. I dont mean check out forever, you might not want to do that....but for NOW, nothing is going to be the end of the world so take a HUGE break.

What can you do? Can you go get a mani/pedi or anything that appeals to you for a reward for all your hard work? Heck for just being you.

Wish so badly sometimes we could all meet in real life and have a sanity break. No kid talk allowed, just a fun time.

 

[ksm]

OH DEAR! HUGS HUGS and more HUGS.... You know what... really do it. I dont mean check out forever, you might not want to do that....but for NOW, nothing is going to be the end of the world so take a HUGE break. What can you do? Can you go get a mani/pedi or anything that appeals to you for a reward for all your hard work? Heck for just being you. Wish so badly sometimes we could all meet in real life and have a sanity break. No kid talk allowed, just a fun time.

THanks for the cyber hugs. I need them. Tonight starts a 10 week class that meets on Wed night from 6:30 to 8:30. It is at the community college and it is a horticulture class that meets in the greenhouse and we get to grow 10 flats (360 seedlings) of plants. When the class is over, it will be time to take them home and plant in the garden. I mostly plan on flowers (and many perennials) some herbs and a few veggies. Tomatoes, zuchinni, pole beans and maybe cantaloupe.

It will be a much needed break. Thanks for understanding the stress level that comes with the territory. I woke up with a huge blister above my lip. just what I needed - another pain to deal with. KSM

 

[buddy]

That sounds so fun. I would never have thought of that. I am going to look in our community ed flyer to see if there is anything for when Q is in Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) since that has been going well lately (please no board curse here, I need a break...LOL)

 

[TeDo]

Sorry I missed the sarcasm in there. I agree with your plan. School is husband's responsibility. Homework is husband's responsibility. Her therapy is husband's responsibility. Take care of YOU!!!