School Question / Advice

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wonderful Family, Feb 23, 2009.

  1. We are starting to think about possibly sending difficult child back to the public schools next year (currently in private school).

    In light of all the problems we had in 6th grade; I'm very concerned about what they will actually do for us. Things were so bad before, that we ended up just pulling difficult child and putting him into a private school.

    I am in the process of setting up a meeting with the SD to get difficult child tested and discuss options. difficult child will mostly likely not qualify for the alternative school (which is supposed to be pretty good for behavior/therapeutics) and will refuse the assistance again through his IEP.

    No decisions made; but with the economy combined with difficult child's behavior; it's something we have to start thinking about; we both know that there is a good chance one of us may be out-of-work in the next few months. He may stay in the private school; but I don't want to get stuck next August trying to figure this out.

    We bailed the last time because difficult child was just in such a bad spot and couldn't get any help. The difference between now and before is that we at least have one hospitalization and formal BiPolar (BP) diagnosis now (before we had ADHD/ODD and intermittent explosive disorder - which they had a great time laughing at).

    I'm already in contact and have had an inital response at the supervisory level of the SD vs. going through the school itself.

    Previously - they always focused on the contracts and similar - which had no impact at all, inconsistent, and wouldn't respond to my multiple requests for help. The principal once told me that an email I sent detailing my actions to date was too lengthy for him to read. difficult child couldn't do the homework because he had no clue what happened in class that day; it seems keeping himself together was his primary task. He's slightly better today. But how do you explain this and have people accept it? difficult child is unlikely to have a major blow-out in public schools; he'll just sit there and not do the work.

    Any thoughts on how best to work with the SD? Any suggestions about what type of placement/services I would expect for my son given his diagnosis in general?
  2. ihavehadit

    ihavehadit Fed Up - What to do now

    Hi Wonderful Family,

    I know this might be a long shot. We have one adult child now with ODD and our other has ADHD.
    Our d with ODD, was in public school all her life. We did not find out her problem until she was 16 and 17 years old. So she made it through school. Only when she was 17 and after she was hit by a car, was when we really started to have problems.

    But our ADHD son, had to problems in school as what you are talking about.
    That IEP or even the 504 plan is a laugh in the face. Yes they are there to help that child through school. But it only will help when the teachers and other school personal's obey the IEP and 504 plans. If they don't, it don't help what so ever.

    Now, I will state if you can get him on a 504 Plan and it is not obey by the teachers or school personal you can sue the system. 504 Plan is supported by the federal civil rights law, Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. A 504 Plan is to be provided in programs that receive federal funds, such as public schools.

    So if you can get your child on the 504 plan and the system don't obey what in written to help your child. You can sue the teacher and school system, for braking the law.

    We went through this with our DS when he was in Jr high. We gave up on the system, when we found out he could not read and write. Not even his full name. (what upset us the most, is he could read and write "even his full name" when we put him in school. But over the years of not being taught he forgot how)

    So we asked for the DS to be level tested, to find out what grade level he was on, on all subjects. He was in the 5th grade, on a 1.3 grade point level writing, 2.4 grade point level reading, 2.5 grade point level on all other subjects.

    We then made up our made to help our DS. So we turned in a Intent to Home School letter to the Board of Education in the county. We then started home schooling our DS. With in 18 months, we had him above his grade level (he was 6th grade but then he was on a 8.2 grade point level)
    He did very well at home, he loved to learn at his own pace. When he got to where he could not seat still, he was allowed to go outside to play. To wear off the high energy to where he could seat back down and finish his work. If he could not get the energy wore down, no problem school closed for the day. Well, he thought. We then went to the store. Did you know they can learn to read at the store, or even do their math, also learn what is good for them to eat (health class). So off to the store we go with a list of things I need for the house. He had to read the list and go find what we need. He also had to keep the price of everything in his head and add them up. give me a price, before we checked out. If he was with in 5 dollars of the total he received an A for the day. But if he was more then that, he receive a lower grade. He hardly ever went lower then a A. It was fun for him, he loved the game. He even learned he liked to eat salads, after he figure out what all was in them.

    To this day, I can call him on the cell and tell him what I need from the store. He would figure it out right on the phone of how much it will cost him. He bring me a receipt and ask if he can have his favorite dinner the next day if he was not far from the total cost. LOL, it is funny he is also in his twenties now. But hey, he still loves to go to the store, great life skills I taught him, that he will live with for the rest of his life.

    So my question is this;

    Have you thought about Home Schooling your Son?
    YOu could teach everything he needs to know, plus more.
    Like life skills, they don't get much of in school.
    Our son, is doing very well with his home school life. He has a wonderful job, has bought his own cars with his own money. (first car was getting to old and cost to much to fix when need it. Second car, he loved only had 3 weeks, old man hit him head on total car. Third car, he is driving now same as the old car. Loves it even more (this one has extras in it) )
    Our daughter had her car given to her. Opps, we learn a lesson there. she don't take care of her car. Where he does, he bought it and knows what it cost to buy another one.

    He has a more sense of money, then most young people. That was part of his life skill, that is not taught in the system. Some of the kids his age, that he knows. Can't figure out, how he knows this or that, they were never taught that in school. When our son applys for a job, he has about 7 years of experience behind him. Before he was 17, he could run a backhoe, front loader, welder and so much more behind his belt. All of this was taught by the family through out his school years. To this day he still helps the family with what he knows, to keep up his skill, and learn new things. He had a wonderful job just two months after his schooling was done. (oh yea, the year after we grad him, he went to tech school for computer building and repair skill). So now he has a wonderful computer job.

    And believe me: for his first 8 or 9 years of life. We always thought he would be our child in jail all the time. Well, he showed us wrong. he causes us no problems and live up to what he says. That reminds me, I need to wake him. He needs to run to the bank before going to work. Bank here closes at 2pm.

    Well, I need to stop writing and sign off line to go to the store. If I don't I won't never make it.

    Do add up what you can do and think about Home Schooling. Science can be done in Kitchen with cooking. We done it here, had fun mixing chemical's and coming up with something that is good to eat. Hard tack candy is one. Chemicals can be ordanary items in the kitchen. Lots of fun.

    History can be living history. Or son even work a living history each summer for 3 summers. He learned so much from that. (visit living history programs. also make your own living history at home. It is fun to learn what it was like back way then.)

    math, is every where and so is reading and writing.

    it is not hard to teach at home, find a home school group in the area and visit their meetings. You can borrow books from other home schoolars or buy your own.

    Ok, now I am going
    good day
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Actaally, IEPs have FAR more enforceability than 504's. For the most part 504's are worth about the paper they are printed on. The ladies over on the School forum have a LOT more info about this.
  4. Thanks - I'll post the messasge over to the Special Education threat- forgot about.

    Thanks also for the thoughts about homeschooling - something to think about.
  5. ihavehadit

    ihavehadit Fed Up - What to do now

    The 504 Plan can lead to a law suite into the federal law court.
    Where IEP, is more a program that will explain to the teacher on how the child learns and how to teach him. 504 is just about the same thing, but with a twist, it is base on

    Subtle but Important Differences

    Not all students who have disabilities require specialized instruction. For students with disabilities who do require specialized instruction, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) [1] controls the procedural requirements, and an IEP is developed. The IDEA process is more involved than that of Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act [2] and requires documentation of measurable growth. For students with disabilities who do not require specialized instruction but need the assurance that they will receive equal access to public education and services, a document is created to outline their specific accessibility requirements. Students with 504 Plans do not require specialized instruction, but, like the IEP, a 504 Plan should be updated annually to ensure that the student is receiving the most effective accommodations for his/her specific circumstances.

    Now to read more:

    Now what I was getting to. The 504 Plan protect the child with a disability Civil Rights .
    If that teacher or school don't protect it's Civil Rights, or Don't teach that child in the same ways they would a normal child (as in reading, writing, and so on) they just give them anything to do that day, so they are not bothered with them. (as in how our child was done)
    You report this to the OCR, and they pretty much take it from there. You can also take them to court on your own in the mean time, because of the system did not protect his civil rights and taught him how he should had been taught.

    I did push the law suite in the board of education face each year, when they tried to fight me on home schooling. They did not pursued it much farther. Also from that first day or taking him out of school, more parents in the area found out what had happen to our child. From there more were tested and more were taken out of the system. That first year, there were 40 families teaching their child or children at home. More and more each year. We had a home school group that meet once a month. By the time I finish schooling our son 8 or 9 years later. There were 82 families in the county that was teaching at home. Most of them has disability children.

    Well, I was only trying to help. But I got a new washer today and now with all the running around I am wore out. So off to bed I will be going.

    For the next three days I am stuck at the hospitals. So I see yea in a few days or more.

    Nite everyone