School questions already



Last year was a disaster. difficult child did really well the first semester. Making honor roll. Straight A's second quarter. Then he just quit. His mouth started acting up, he refused to do work it was awful. School did their share of egging him on. He is in Special Education., but he was not in the room with the Special Education teacher. He could go find her if he needed time to cool down, and he had one period a day with her. In April things were so bad they moved him into the classes that the Special Education. teacher was in.

He is in the regular ed classes, just that the Special Education teacher is also in the class with the teacher. Now he told me he doesn't want to be in with those kids this year. He wants to be in classes without the Special Education teacher. He said the kids he was with at the end of last year either didn't care or didn't know things. He said he wants to have to think harder this year.

Now what.? He CAN think harder with the Special Education teacher..he just chooses not to. I expect that is the case with others too. They rely on the Special Education. teacher to make it easier for them.
He says he really wants to work hard this year..(heard that before). He has a really good IEP (I think) It was completed the last week of school last year. He doesn't want to be in Special Education. His behavior is what puts him there.

So..when you have an IEP, do they have to do what is on there or can he try to do without to see how he does?
Example, he has such trouble writing, that it is on his IEP that he can use the computer for writing assignments. Can he choose to write? I would like him to do without, but don't know if he will have trouble. He is begging me everyday to not be in with the Special Education teacher. I just want what will be best for him. I fought so hard last year, I want it to be a good year.


Sounds like difficult child's anxiety is getting geared up.

To answer your question however the sd is required to follow the IEP.

The computer for writing assignments is an accommodation. Making it available is required via the IEP. Whether he chooses to use it is something else altogether.

I'd encourage him to use the computer because it can be so helpful to a student, but if he wants to physically write I wouldn't make it an issue. Maybe use the computer sometimes, write othertimes. difficult child having the option may be a good thing. In any event, the objective is to get the work done by either means.


Well-Known Member is my two cents.

His behavior is why he has an IEP along with some learning disabilities such as writing difficulties. If his behavior got him into these classes, his behavior can get him out. He has to show by his actions that he can behave appropriately and do the work adequately before he can be moved into regular classrooms.

That is the way it normally works. That is the way we did it with my son. You work your way up to lesser restrictive classes after you are in them.


Well-Known Member
My son has the use of an aide, when he needs it. I respectfully disagree that kids "can" do it, they just won't. Maybe that's true of your child, but certainly not of mine. Mine is a very hard worker, but he has autism spectrum disorder and sometimes needs things explained in a different way or somebody beside him when he first starts out. This is improving a lot. He rarely uses the aide, and most of the kids have no idea that he even HAS use of the aide. The other two kids who use the aide need her a lot--One has Downs and one is also autistic, but much lower functioning. I think the Special Education teacher can push--my son's aide often makes him do things on his own or figure things out on his own, BECAUSE SHE KNOWS HE CAN. A good Spec. Ed teacher or aide will push towards independence. You can certainly ask for that.
It's up to you if you want to discontinue the Special Education teacher. If you feel your child can do it alone, and just is not trying, then go for it. You can always switch back again.


Well-Known Member
Oh, one more thing: The writing! My son can barely hold a pen the right way, but they have pushed him so that he can at least print very legibly. This may not sound like a big deal, but the kid couldn't put two letters on a piece of paper--they looked like baby scrawl. They are going to teach him keyboarding, but they first made sure he can at least print, and I'm glad they did. He will probably never be able to write in cursive, but I really don't care. He has other, more important issues than that!


Well-Known Member
From what I remember of your posts last year your son was out of control in school and shutting down, in the office daily, confrontational with teachers and staff, and you were getting phone calls daily. I think that it is good idea that he starts out the year in the classes he is in.

I regular ed classroom with a Special Education teacher isnt going to hold him back educationally. He can work just as hard as he wants to. My oldest son was learning disabled but academically gifted. Going to see the Learning Disability (LD) teacher didnt stop him from reading Shakespeare in the 4th grade. They fit the work to the child.


It is true. Last year it was unbelievable. Only second semester. But I was there almost everyday, ontop of the phone calls non stop. But, what I witnessed set ME off. It was awful Thank goodness the program director saw what was going on. Too bad she is not there everyday.

In his middle school they have "houses" 150+ kids per house. Within that house are the academic teachers. 25 kids go to math, 25 science, 25 english etc. The spec. ed. teacher is only in a designated schedule. The other kids who have an IEP, and are in Special Education that do not require to be with him still spend a period with him, and can seek him out for extra help. That is how difficult child started last year. Then by April they moved him into that schedule to be with the spec. ed. teacher at all times.

I met with the principal last Wednesday. She printed off his schedule, told me about his classes, talked to me about his teachers. I was feeling ok when I left. husband registered him on Thursday, computer troubles prevented them from physically getting a printout of their schedules that day. Paid the fees.
I went to pick up his schedule today and it is not at all what the principal told me. Not even same teachers. The fee's we paid did not include one of the classes he has, which I was told he didn't have. I was told the vice principal made some adjustments for others students which moved difficult child's schedule around. I am not happy. He had full year french this year. French 101. Principal said that was good because in high school he could enter in honors French. When I picked up his schedule it is not on there. I know from paying the fee's it was on there at registration, so it was changed after. New Vice Principal who does not know difficult child. (yet)

I am going back tomorrow with the receipt from the fee payment and request to get back what I was told he had.

difficult child tested gifted, but his behavior is what holds him back. His outbursts, his mouth, his refusal to do work. He promises every year he will do good. This year he has many friends in his "house", but not in his classes.


New Member
He kinda sounds like Dylan.

He started in an Emotional Support classroom with a teacher and aide. Now, Dylan, he's not gifted. Not Learning Disability (LD), but not gifted. Average.

The first half of the YEAR, every day I got a note in his journal that read, "good day", "great day", "wonderful day". When I went in for the first half of the year conference, the teacher told me she wished she had a classroom full of Dylan's. I thought she was out of her mind.

Then it hit. He just started losing it. Having problems, blurting out, etc. It was awful.

I, personally, just think my son cannot hold it together the whole school year. It's too much.

I also have personal issues with the SPED part of his schooling. In our district, it does not seem that they really have a desire to move the kids along. For example, I ask for grade appropriate homework to bring him up to speed, and she sends home a word find from 1st grade (he's going into 5th). They keep him reading at a 4th grade level, knowing he reads at 6th. They continue to give him 4th grade spelling words, even though he can spell difficult child 2's 10th grade spelling words. They've tested him, they know it, but they don't bother to push. In actuality, it's pathetic.

So, you like the computer, but want him to try writing. He should try writing. If you want him doing that, call another IEP meeting, get it in there. Work at home with him, whatever. You may have to push really hard to get him up to speed with the other kids. That's what I have to do, and it's sad.


Thanks for your advice. I called school this morning to see the new vice principal He is the one that does the schedules. When schedules came out last year, we filled it in and returned it same day. VP said first come first serve for French, hard to get into. Then Last WEdnesday was told he had full year french.
Knowing difficult child, the last VP did a good job selecting the best fitting teachers and classes. New VP apparently juggled some schedules, I am sure to get other requests in. But this affected the schedule difficult child has. May not be an issue with other kids, but we tried to select the best fit for him.

Not the "my way or no way" attitude, as difficult child would choose no way.
The teachers we selected are more laid back and willing to bend a bit. Now, it is all messed up. So, I called to talk to him, and ofcourse both the principal and vice are out of the building for meetings.

I think I am stressing more than difficult child. Because I have been there done that so many times. Even when he "wants" to do well, It is dependent upon both the teachers and him. And Last year just totally wore me out. Can't do that again.

I'll call again tomorrow.


Well, I called and spoke to the new VP today regarding difficult child's schedule. I know there was a computer issue for 8th graders, and anyone who registered last Thursday did not recieve their schedule. What VP told me was the computer crashed Wednesday afternoon and ALL schedules for 8th graders were lost. He said I was probably the only one who knew difficult child's schedule before it crashed.

I told him how the VP last year, principal and program directer worked very hard trying to find the best fit for difficult child. So throwing him into any class just won't work.

He said he will speak to the principal and get back what I was told he had. Which will mean a whole new schedul.

I really don't want to start off the year a PITA but I also don't want to start the year on putting difficult child on a schedule I know he would fail at. Hopefully we will get it all resolved and difficult child will be happy.

I tried to find reasons why difficult child lost it third quarter last year. Blaming myself, my new job, our home situation(new schedules)...but after reading Janna's response, maybe there just isn't a reason. Maybe he just cannot hold it together for an entire year.

Hopefully the new IEP will add some relief for difficult child and he will be able to hold it together longer this year.

Thanks for the responses.