School refusal works well for difficult child

[Josie]

I posted yesterday about difficult child not going to school because she didn't want to do PE. I called the school and the principal said she would come get difficult child today if she didn't come to school and that difficult child didn't have to go to PE today and they would meet to figure something out.

difficult child went to school today without the principal coming to get her. At their meeting, the principal suggested that difficult child can be a helper to the coaches during PE. difficult child is in 7th Grade and because of her schedule, she has to go to 6th Grade PE.

So I am happy that difficult child will go to school now and feel ok with PE but at the same time I feel that she was almost rewarded for staying home. I do love her school and the way they try to make things work for the students.

 

[busywend]

I think it was a good compromise. I would probably make the principal aware of your thoughts about difficult child being rewarded for refusing to go to school. Perhaps he/she can talk to difficult child about coming to him/her or you with a problem instead of digging in her heals.

 

[DaisyFace]

I posted yesterday about difficult child not going to school because she didn't want to do PE. I called the school and the principal said she would come get difficult child today if she didn't come to school and that difficult child didn't have to go to PE today and they would meet to figure something out.

difficult child went to school today without the principal coming to get her. At their meeting, the principal suggested that difficult child can be a helper to the coaches during PE. difficult child is in 7th Grade and because of her schedule, she has to go to 6th Grade PE.

So I am happy that difficult child will go to school now and feel ok with PE but at the same time I feel that she was almost rewarded for staying home.

Hi There--

I understand exactly what you are saying....

As the Mom, you fought so hard and went to such effort to try and get her back into school (and back into PE class)--and for all of your effort, it turns out that difficult child was completely correct to ignore all of your conversations about the importance of doing things even when we don't feel like doing them.

So as much as Mom is happy to have her back in school where she belongs...it also kind of leaves Mom looking like the "fuss-budget" who made a big deal out of nothing...and it looks like difficult child did not have to compromise or learn any lessons about working through a tough situation...because she was able to make enough noise to get out of it.

It stinks being the Mom sometimes! Even when we "win" we don't win!!

So I hear you! And you did the right thing and a good job (even if maybe it feels like a lot of wasted effort).

--DaisyF