school team, mtg...? any ideas..

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Dec 8, 2008.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi everyone

    so i have a team mtg. set up for wed. with the school social worker and with the new school pyschdoc. I have to be careful with-these ppl if you remember they were trying to place blame on me for difficult child's troubles a matter of mos. ago. Very strange, yet we seemed to have moved past that. yet I don't trust them as I did before.

    I set the mtg. up because we are still waiting on the mtg. regarding the iep, etc. yet difficult child has been acting odd as of late, i keep increasing the medication slowly, and waiting to see how she responds. As with many of us our difficult child's find the holiday season over stimulating. I am having this mtg. because i want to put things in place for difficult child, and get on the same page as the school incase there is a crash ahead for us. This was the time last year she went into a depressive state, for a long time. Yet this year it seems to be more manic. I felt it as a good idea, instead of them calling me suddenly screaming "immediate intervention" like last year.

    So, i'm sitting here thinking to myself what types of things can i have them plan out so if it does come to that point we can act instead of fumbling again.

    One thing I thought of a few is help packing schoolbag, seems minor yet when she flies about mentally she can't remember this and it affects her grades and the teacher gets a little nasty with difficult child when hw is not done done.

    second is time out of the room. how do i do that one? there is no more asistant in the room at all, so our only option is the nurse to utiliize. i want them to let her go and not deter her if she needs that time to regroup.

    another is the teacher attacking her verbally when she shows up late, with each medication increase she makes nasty comments to difficult child when she even walks in 15 minutes late, she soo doesn't get it.

    any other thoughts........????

    thanks guys!! :)
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Jennifer, some people here sent me links to some good info to consider for the iep of a difficult child with BiPolar (BP). Of course, it won't all apply to each situation, but you can look it over for food for thought. Let me gather them and I'll either post here or PM you, ok?
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Some of these might be helpful, no matter what the diagnosis is because it's really to address the specific issue that the child is having at school. These just happen to be common problems that kids with BiPolar (BP) have. Here you go!!!

    I think I accidentally put 2 links to the same place- sorry..(the bpchildresearch links)- on the bkkids "about" site, scroll to bottom of page for education related info.
    Lasted edited by : May 26, 2014
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Jennifer, call your state Dept. of Public Education and find out who the Free Parent Advocate is in your area. She will go with you, and the school district will not pull any crapola on you if an Adovocate is with you. They will not harass you or try to stop your child from getting her needs met. This is what we always do. We never go in alone. We always get what we want. It is far better to go in with an advocate than to go in alone. We found the school districts to be combative and limiting in what they want to do. And, like you, we found ourselves the target of pointed fingers which we knew we didn't deserve.
    All states offer this free Advocacy service, but most parents don't know about it and the school district sure isn't going to tell you about it. Good luck.
  5. JLady

    JLady A ship lost in the night

    I didn't know about the advocate. That could be very useful in the future. My son is allowed to step into the hallway if he needs to get away. Not sure if your school will allow this or not. I have insisted he get a mentor and other people he can go to when he needs it. Our school has been very helpful in this area. Good luck.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Call for the advocate TODAY.

    The teacher is making snarky comments about difficult child being late sometimes? Remind her that there is no place for sarcasm in a classroom. Children (all of them) are easily hurt by comments adults would ignore. IF she has a problem with difficult child being late she needs to address YOU. Make this point VERY clear - that you will NOT tolerate verbal harrassment from and adult authority figure.

    Ask teacher to check her schoolbag. Or to have another child help difficult child remember to put her homework folder in her schoolbag. BUT it may not be unreasonable to expect Rin to take some responsibility for this, like remembering to show the teacher her schoolbag to be checked. Maybe a small prize for Rin if she does show it to the teacher? You could provide the prize.

    At one pt I had trouble remembering my lunch $$. My mom got a jigsaw puzzle, put it together and numbered the pieces on the back. Every day I got 5 pieces of the puzzle. So I would rush home to figure out where they went on the puzzle. Puzzles motivated ME. Find what motivates Rin, even if it is a junky little toy, and use it to get her to do what she needs to.

    Why can't Rin just go out to the hallway with a book or something when she needs to get it together? As long as she doesn't disrupt others. If that won't work, then ask them to let her go to the Sp Ed room for a time out when needed. She is in the process for an IEP so they should let her go and do that, I would think.

    A parent advocate will stop a LOT of this carp.

    Have you posted about this on Sp Ed 101 forum? They will have MUCH better ideas for how to help.
  7. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    My difficult child can step in the hallway as well - written into the IEP. We had to break down and hire an advocate for this last meeting (incident in Nov) and it's really a great way to make sure your daughter gets the servcies she needs. As for the verbal attack, I can't see ANY teacher doing that to a child. That is just wrong. I can see the child facing consequences (loss of free time or recess etc) but not what you're describing.
    My difficult child isn't very good with- organization - forgets things all the time. We have just started a new reward program now (instead of detentions for forgetting things). We have a chart where she'll get a star for each subject for being on time, having all her supplies & books, and homework done. She'll get a reward at the end of each day that she gets 100% stars. She is doing very well and understands that more than what the detention was for. We have found that the more positive rewards she receives, the better her performance.
  8. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi and thanks everyone

    i think i may of mislead, this isn't the iep mtg. this is just a mtg. being handled at bldg level, so it's informal and its just things that i want listed between myself the social worker and the pyschdoc so that if difficult child crashes down and im hoping she doens't that these things can be implemented in a quick and effecient matter, unlike last year!

    I will look at those links though, klmno. thank u!!

    midwest mom yes i agree about the parent advocate, this mtg is at bldg level though and informal and i just wanted to know what types of things or ideas you guys may have about what i could tell them to watch for. I know the miserable behaviors i see at home lucky for the school all they see is anxiety.

    Susie difficult child cna't handle hallways alone, that just heightens it. nurses office is hte best, she feels safe there. as far as the back pack is concerned we've tried various things yet it just doens't work.

    ok i'm typing and she's acting up again. she's been alot of fun this week. NOT

    thanks again
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The packing of the school bags I do with several students but I have help in the room. I sign their assignment notebooks and make sure they have all their "stuff". It is their responsibility to come up with their assignment notebooks and work.

    The timeout part is trickier. As a teacher I'm responsible for my students. If something happens because one leaves to take a timeout and their is no adult supervising that can create a problem. Some students have had it written into their ieps-but then I usually have someone who can go with them. Some are able to go by themselves to a bean bag chair in a small room.

    She should not be harassing her about being late-I agree let her take it up with you. When difficult child comes in does she get right to work? Does she need redirection because she is 15 minutes late (please don't take this the wrong way-15 minutes late in my classroom on a regular basis isn't just a little late)? Is there any way to motivate her to get to school on time or is it just impossible due to her being so tired from the medications? Does she need a plan for what she is to do when she is that late?

    I think having a parent advocate at the meeting is a good idea!
  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    OOps- sorry I mis-understood...keep in mind though, if you are concerned that they might look to blame you or shed responsibility, they are not required by law to do anything that isn't written in the IEP.
  11. Jena

    Jena New Member


    This is a huge huge improvement from where we were last year. difficult child was getting to school at anywhere between 10 to 12 p.m. and a few days I couldn't pry her out. So, this is huge for us to be honest that she's actually "wanting" to go to school. Also that the anxiety has lowered to the point where i can get her in that close to on time.

    The teacher knows what difficult child has going on, she has told me on more than one occassion she does not believe it, funny right? She says i don't see the violent or verbally abusive or manic behaviors here just hte anxiety and always checking or needing to be re directed. difficult child gets to work better on the days the teacher doens't say anything but good morning, when she makes a slight comment she flies off balance.

    I have to be honest though it's like walking a tight wire with the teachers at my school, they take everything personally and will get so upset if i make a comment and state pls. don't be negative to difficult child in the a.m. if she's late at all......
  12. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    Just FYI, in my experience, it never is "just an informal meeting"....
    might I make a suggestion of either writing down the "minutes" in a notebook, bringing a laptop to type them in, or use a mini recorder. That way you have a written recording of the meeting.
  13. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Nancy it's soo funny you said that. i was just sitting here thinking the same thing. I was enlighted by difficult child this morning what' sgoing on with her teacher i was going to post a new thingy.


    JLady thank you also i'm so sorry i skipped past you, difficult child ***** my brain power at times :)
  14. Critter Lover

    Critter Lover New Member

    Highly suggest them place this with her IEP so they can go back and refer to it. We had our son's psychologist come in for a called IEP meeting that I called. The woman that was handling the meeting never wrote what was said down because teacher, psychologist, and parents were in agreement to hold son back since he was having seizures and missed most of his 6th grade. Because of her lack of NOT doing what she was told .....they forced my son in 7th grade with us calling for an EMERGENCY IEP with administrative staff present. It got so bad in that meeting that husband stood up and said Because of your inadequacies in the meeting last year ....we are here......NOW we can do this the easy way or the hard way! The easy way would be that you let him stay back in 6th grade or the hard way is you can talk to our attorney because we are through. The vice principal stepped out of the meeting and said he would be right back with our answer. Took him 5 to 10 minutes, came back and said .....We will keep him back in 6th grade. Teacher was so happy that when we got out of the meeting ....she said I wish more parents would stand up to them like this!

    Get everything in writing and tell them to let you have a copy before you leave. I learned my lesson that year.
  15. Jena

    Jena New Member

    thank you and im sorry to hear what you and husband had to go thru. it is so hard and challenging at times. she doesn't have an iep in place as of yet, i'm waiting for the mtg. yet meanwhile i need them to handle it on bldg. level because she's kicking up again.

    my school, rather difficult child's school we are in a very bad district as far as special needs children are concerned. they are not well educated to the needs of these children, they are not open to the idea that BiPolar (BP) does exist. they are close minded only concerned with their rich students parents and their math/reading scores. i did guardianships for a while work at home. I dealt with a few parents with whom had children with whom they had to apply for guardianship and guess what they had their kids at difficult child's school they fought them also and got them out of there.

    it's a small small school at time si think their biggest concern are their fundraisers. lol

    thanks again