School - What they didn't tell me...


New Member
Ok I really need to vent...

Last year my son was in 5th grade. We had to place him in a day treatment facility for 6 months. So I told his school I wanted him to take 5th grade over. (he couldn't even write a full paragraph). I ended up emailing the local news station about our situation because I was told "we don't retain a child that old". I got enormous help from the local news. The TV anchor emailed me back and gave me his wives email address. I contacted her and we had coffee and talked. She made a few phone calls and gave me a direction. She gave me names and numbers of people to call. She told me what exactly to say to plead my case and gave me step by step instruction on everything.

I followed her advice and after putting my foot down and calling everyone including the state Special Education Director. I got my son retained and in a new school. This school is a brand new school with new staff and a very friendly and helpful Principal. I met with her and gave her information on my son. I asked her to place him with a kind and patient teacher. Someone that is loving and caring and willing to work with me.

The next time we met she told me she had the perfect teacher for my son and not to worry.

Okay. So, we are two days into the school year and I found out that my son's kind and patient homeroom teacher only has him for about an hour. They are doing a rotation. A different teacher for each subject! It just so happens that the subject his teacher teaches is the subject he goes to the Special Education class for. He had the rotation a couple of years ago at his other school and it was a nightmare. Trying to get 4 teachers on the same page, and to get them to actually read the IEP let alone follow it! We ended up placing him in Special Education for all subjects.

Its day two and I got my 2nd email from his Special Education teacher and tonight I got a call from his math teacher. Get this... she didn't even know he had an IEP, let alone that math is a subject that he is suppose to go to Special Education for. My son told me they told him that he has to go to mainstream then if he is having problems he can leave the class and go to Special Education. (okay, lets give a child with conduct problems the choice of when he leaves class). He let me know that today after he was given his math assignment he let his teacher know he was to go to Special Education for help. She allowed him to go. When he got to the Special Education class no one was there. It was the teachers lunch break and the class was empty. No TA or anything. So he went back to mainstream and did the best he could.

I have to keep reminding is only day two, they haven't got their ducks in a row. It will take time.

I just wish that when I was working so hard to get him into another school with the "perfect" teacher for him, someone would have told me that he would have 4 different teachers. This is elementary school. Part of the reason I wanted him held back was because he is not ready for the whole changing classes every hour thing.

I'm just :censored2:. I hope the teachers read and follow the IEP. We got burned before I won't let it happen again. I know his IEP front to back, heck I helped his teacher write it last year.


New Member
Yikes! I wanted to hold back my oldest difficult child for that SAME reason, he is also moving from 5th to 6th. No luck here though!

I think its great that your difficult child came back to the regular class though when no one was in Special Education. Mine would have enjoyed wandering the halls or stayed in the empty class and dug through the teachers stuff. What a good choice yours made! I would be really proud of him and really erked with the ding dong teacher who gave him the option. What kind of teacher does that, especially with a child with conduct problems? DUH!

I hope it pans out that its just because its day 2 and they don't have it all together yet.


After the 4th IEP..I realized that school will not offer any information. YOU must do the educating. Once the school finds out that you are aware of the laws, procedures, etc..they are much more willing to comply.

"hope they follow the IEP" They MUST follow the IEP. It is mandatory they follow IEP's. If they do not, pull it out and remind them or else call district office.

Hope things get better for you.


Active Member
I don't know if you can do what I would do - our system allows it, although it's a closely guarded secret.

When we've had problems like this in the past I went to the principal AND school counsellor and requested an urgent staff meeting for all staff who deal with my child. I had a representative from Autism Association also present, and after she had been observing him in classes all morning.

The school made attendance at this meeting optional - a big problem - but this WAS senior high school. Nevertheless, we used the time to not only explain about difficult child 1's problems, but also to field questions about why and how his support was needed.

There were two teachers present who were a big problem for us - but at least they were present. others who were also a problem were not present. It gave us both an opportunity to get across what we needed to, and to also realise that some people would only make small concessions and even that, reluctantly.

The teachers who didn't turn up - I sat waiting for them. I had phone calls with them. Some of them were very nice people, but they just didn't get it.

With the class changing thing - this was introduced to the primary (elementary) school that the older three kids went to. Even the K/1 class had a time table - it was cute, seeing easy child 2/difficult child 2 come home from school, 4 years old, proudly showing me her school timetable. For both of them this made the transition to high school much easier.

But difficult child 3 would not have coped. And because we could see, when we had a trial run, that this was going to be a problem, we transferred him to correspondence for high school. He's doing a lot better this way. He still has different teachers for each subject but I'm there as liaison. Also, whenever they access his file on the computer (as when he telephones them) any updates from any other teacher are also there on the computer screen.

It's not perfect, but crikey, it's a whole lot better than full-time mainstream for him!



Everyone has given such great input. I know that it gets very tiring having to fight so hard all the time to give our kids a fair chance at a decent education. Like you said, it's just the second day. Help them line up those ducks and know that you're not alone. Hugs, Michele