School year starting off badly...

[lonelyroad]

I am so frustrated I could cry, actually sobbed...

My daughter started high school Tuesday and is hating it, ended up out of class most of yesterday, in guidance department...with resource teacher and I must say they are FANTASTIC!!
But doesn't matter how great anyone is, she is not coping at all...she says she can't do the work...ummm she finished grade 8 on honour roll, so we know she's smart..
Says she has no friends...hmmm..hard to make if never in class..

Says she'd rather be dead then go back...

I am so lost as to what to do next..

 

[TiredSoul]

I'm so sorry. ((Hugs))

I am not familiar with your situation but I often wonder what I would/will do when/if we get to that point with my difficult child. Do you know why she hates school so much? Would online school be an option?

 

[TeDo]

There is such a huge difference in the level and amount of work from 8th grade to high school. My kids are finding this out. My difficult child 2, who has always found school EASY is struggling this year and we've only had a week of it. Because he's actually found it easy, he's not used to having to work at it. This year, he has to WORK.

Because the whole school environment is different and routines are different in high school, I can see where she might find it VERY overwhelming. It sounds like her anxiety is through the roof and might need some accommodations or maybe even a prn medication? Does she have an IEP or 504? If not, I would request one asap. Puberty did a real number on both my kids and kicked their symptoms into high gear. In order to not have her slip into a very deep depression like my difficult child 1 did because of school pressure, you need to get something going for her until she's over the hump at least. I don't think she's exaggerating when she says the work is too hard. She's telling you the why, now you have to come up with a Plan B or alternative to HELP her over it. Personally, I would ask for a prn from her psychiatrist for the anxiety. I suffer from it too and it can be crippling.

 

[buddy]

Poor thing, it is still so new but likely hard to convince her that the social part will probably get easier. Any chance the guidance counselors could arrange social lunches in a separate area ....maybe with a special treat like frosting cookies or some kind of activity to break the ice. It helps so much if even one person connects and can be a peer outlet. I think a meeting is in order and agree if you don't have an IEP it's time ....she needs a safe place to go and have academic support when she wants/needs it with teachers who are trained to work with anxiety.

 

[InsaneCdn]

I don't remember the background for sure, but it seems to me like there was a major change in your difficult child in the last year or two? Have you found out any more about what the triggers actually were? The reason I ask is... I know a situation where a very young teenager was seduced by a teacher... and it threw here for such a loop she became psychotic (not just anxiety/depression) once High School started, because most of the kids feel very vulnerable at first and she couldn't handle that at all.

 

[lonelyroad]

Yes she has an IEP, allowing her to hand stuff in late, if things get too overwhelming..it also allows her to leave the classroom as needed, as long as she goes to a set place, and they gave her several options, Guidance department, resource room and the resource office...
The school is bending over backwards to accomodate her..
Today is going to be a HUGE struggle again as she has a math test and claims she can't do it....my guess is she will be in guidance all day..
The math teacher is meeting her at lunch to go over it. Cass claims she needs to drop to the college level math, I would go along with this, as she has no intention of doing anything with math, but she will be shutting many doors...
She has been on Abilify for aboout 6 months now, but 3mg, small dose, however we saw a huge change in her after a few weeks..I have permission to up it to 4 mg today if she is still in rough shape...

My heart bleeds for this child, she knows how bad things look...no matter how encouraging I am...I told her how proud I was of her to make it thru most of Thursday in class...she left half way thru one, because she was SURE she hadn't locked her lock, she had...she tells me she HATES feeling like this and wants to be a normal teenager....

Her ex boyfriend who was a huge support wants to hang out wth her this weekend and she has told him no she can't, further reducing social interaction...actually she told him I said they couldn't, lol...when they broke up it was hard...even though it was mutual.