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Substance Abuse
Searching for faith, help or my own rallying principles . . .
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 663858" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Hi Sam..... your story also hits home with me and sounds all too familiar. Let us know how old your son is because how involved you are and should be will vary depending on his age. My son has been in and out of treatment since he was 14. He is now 23. My feeling is when they are under 18 get them the help they need if you can even if they dont want it... it helps give them some clean time and things they learn along the way may stick in some way...... but if they dont really want it they most likely will relapse again and again. There is not a lot you can do to prevent that I dont think, except when possible keep as a good a relationship with them as you can.... but it is also very difficult, maybe impossible to have any kind of good relationship with a drug addict.</p><p></p><p>My son now at 23 is finally once again in residential treatment but by his own decision. His whole attitude about it is different this time. He commented to me today that some people are really serious and that is good but some are not at all and thats frustrating. I said you were once one of those that wasnt serious and he said that is what makes it so frustrating, I see myself in them! </p><p></p><p>So there is hope but it is a tough road. And you need all the strength to get through this for yourself. So like COM said take care of yourself, find thiings that you like doing for yourself and sleep while you know he is safely in the program.</p><p></p><p>And let go of the guilt. None of us are perfect parents but unless you were horribly abusive (which I am guessing you were not) you did not cause this. Really you didnt. The guilt and self recrimination and what ifs will not help you and they do not help him either.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 663858, member: 15801"] Hi Sam..... your story also hits home with me and sounds all too familiar. Let us know how old your son is because how involved you are and should be will vary depending on his age. My son has been in and out of treatment since he was 14. He is now 23. My feeling is when they are under 18 get them the help they need if you can even if they dont want it... it helps give them some clean time and things they learn along the way may stick in some way...... but if they dont really want it they most likely will relapse again and again. There is not a lot you can do to prevent that I dont think, except when possible keep as a good a relationship with them as you can.... but it is also very difficult, maybe impossible to have any kind of good relationship with a drug addict. My son now at 23 is finally once again in residential treatment but by his own decision. His whole attitude about it is different this time. He commented to me today that some people are really serious and that is good but some are not at all and thats frustrating. I said you were once one of those that wasnt serious and he said that is what makes it so frustrating, I see myself in them! So there is hope but it is a tough road. And you need all the strength to get through this for yourself. So like COM said take care of yourself, find thiings that you like doing for yourself and sleep while you know he is safely in the program. And let go of the guilt. None of us are perfect parents but unless you were horribly abusive (which I am guessing you were not) you did not cause this. Really you didnt. The guilt and self recrimination and what ifs will not help you and they do not help him either. Keep posting. [/QUOTE]
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