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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 722829" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I am so sorry for the passing of your son. Sending you ((HUGS))</p><p></p><p></p><p>Moving forward starts with one little step and then another. It takes time to process all you have been through, not only with your sons death but with what your daughter is putting you through.</p><p>Try doing one thing each day that is just for you! Something as simple as buying some flowers and arranging them in a vase. Going to the park and feeding the ducks. Going for a walk in the woods. Rummage through an antique store. Eat a pint of ice cream!</p><p>You are at a turning point where you are ready to take your life back and that is a good thing. It can feel strange but it's a positive move in the right direction.</p><p>Find something you enjoy doing that will bring a new purpose to your life.</p><p></p><p></p><p>There is nothing like being betrayed by your own child. My son has broken my heart and trust more times than I can count. For me, I had to forgive my son. When I say this I do not mean that I literally spoke those words to him, I mean that I had to let go of the pain by forgiving him. This does not mean that I will ever forget all the chaos he caused.</p><p>There's a wonderful saying that rings so much truth.</p><p>Holding on to pain and anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.</p><p>Forgiveness is for ourselves. Letting go of the anger and bitterness allows us to move on.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Your health must be your top priority. Allowing toxic people to hold our emotions hostage is no way to live. Detaching from my son was the only way I could move on and live a peaceful, healthy life.</p><p>I had to come to accept that he's going to live a life that I do not agree with and that's okay. It's his life to live. I however do not have to participate in it.</p><p></p><p></p><p>If it wasn't her brothers death she would find another excuse. Many of us here are blamed for how horrible our kids lives are. The truth is, our difficult adult children have no one to blame but themselves for the mess they have made of their lives.</p><p></p><p>I think you are a very strong person and I have no doubt that you will not only get through this but find a wonderful and happy life for yourself.</p><p></p><p>So very glad you are here with us!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 722829, member: 18516"] I am so sorry for the passing of your son. Sending you ((HUGS)) Moving forward starts with one little step and then another. It takes time to process all you have been through, not only with your sons death but with what your daughter is putting you through. Try doing one thing each day that is just for you! Something as simple as buying some flowers and arranging them in a vase. Going to the park and feeding the ducks. Going for a walk in the woods. Rummage through an antique store. Eat a pint of ice cream! You are at a turning point where you are ready to take your life back and that is a good thing. It can feel strange but it's a positive move in the right direction. Find something you enjoy doing that will bring a new purpose to your life. There is nothing like being betrayed by your own child. My son has broken my heart and trust more times than I can count. For me, I had to forgive my son. When I say this I do not mean that I literally spoke those words to him, I mean that I had to let go of the pain by forgiving him. This does not mean that I will ever forget all the chaos he caused. There's a wonderful saying that rings so much truth. Holding on to pain and anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Forgiveness is for ourselves. Letting go of the anger and bitterness allows us to move on. Your health must be your top priority. Allowing toxic people to hold our emotions hostage is no way to live. Detaching from my son was the only way I could move on and live a peaceful, healthy life. I had to come to accept that he's going to live a life that I do not agree with and that's okay. It's his life to live. I however do not have to participate in it. If it wasn't her brothers death she would find another excuse. Many of us here are blamed for how horrible our kids lives are. The truth is, our difficult adult children have no one to blame but themselves for the mess they have made of their lives. I think you are a very strong person and I have no doubt that you will not only get through this but find a wonderful and happy life for yourself. So very glad you are here with us!! [/QUOTE]
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