Deep breath. Seb and I saw the neurologist today and he revised his diagnosis and prescribed new medication. He added Sensory Integration Disorder to the ADHD-- and the dreaded suggestion of bi-polar. He said that he could not diagnose him as bi-polar at present but it has been on his mind. He wants to see if Seb's issues with mood regulation change and if they worsen on stimulant medication. If they do worsen, he prescribed Depakote (which husband is spitting tacks over at the moment and says he absoultely will not allow it. Another subject altogether). I feel sad today. Seb is such an effervescent, bright kid with a magnetic personality and a beautiful, contagious smile and laugh. But then there is his dark side. I worry about his sadness, his depression. I worry about his explosive reactions in the face of the usual suspect triggers. I worry that he'll be like my mother-- a desperately sad woman who is bi-polar and narscisstic and suicidal. When talking to the neurologist I was choking back the tears at the suggestion of bi-polar. It has been the one thing that I have been most afraid of. So I will try to give Seb fish oil-- though given his issue with swallowing and ingesting will be perhaps impossible to do. If I can get him to take the fish oil I will have him take that and only that for 3 weeks and then introduce Daytrana. Seb was excited about the idea of the patch as opposed to the Adderall capsules he battled-- I hope he tolerates Daytrana well. And I hope it works. Somebody please tell me that a bi-polar diagnosis is not a death sentence.