Leafy I was in no way trying to be exclusionary. If you have a question about what I said I would appreciate it if you would pm me so we resolve it.
Seeing the Paths of our Difficult Children in a Positive Light
- Thread starter New Leaf
- Start date
Leafy I was in no way trying to be exclusionary. If you have a question about what I said I would appreciate it if you would pm me so we resolve it.
OK I am glad you are OK. I get raw too, especially when it comes to substance abuse. You did not offend me at all. It is the pitfall of the typed word, you cannot see emotion or intent or follow-up with fill in words. My concern is that I don't want to see members be offended by something someone said and then discuss it among themselves without getting clarification from the author. It can cause a lot of misunderstanding and hurt feelings.
Pm is private message. Go to your Inbox in the upper right corner between your name and Alerts and click on it. Then go to start new conversationa and type in the name of the person you want to have a conversation with.
Pm is private message. Go to your Inbox in the upper right corner between your name and Alerts and click on it. Then go to start new conversationa and type in the name of the person you want to have a conversation with.
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New Leaf
Well-Known Member
Thank you Nancy you are very kind.
I am trying to work through a lot of stuff right now. I would never mean to try to cause dissension here on CD. It has been a respite for me.
It is true that things can be readily misinterpreted between emotion and typed words. I appreciate your perspective . I think in a way, we are saying the same thing in a different light. The love is always there, the substance abuse and lifestyle can cause a lot of frustration and grief.
My post was my trying to see things in a different way, to help release me from the dismay of it all.
I am trying to gather up 'tools" and share them as well.
It was very difficult for me to see my daughter walk out the door. She was a bit of a mess, despondent, and speaking literally of being abused by a man, and not able to get away from him. That struck a deep chord in me, domestic violence ran rampant in my husbands background.
I offered to take her to a DV shelter, to a rehab, but she would have none of it, telling me
"Those places are horrible, obviously you have never been to one."
In the course of this conversation, I remained as calm as possible. While inside of me there was a battle going on.
I realize that there is no way my daughter can stay with us. She is not ready to help herself. I cannot begin to help someone who will not help themselves. No one can.
So, I must continue to try to build myself up and live my life. Rather than go down the road of awfullizing, I want to think on the hope, and the possibilities my two have. It is a concentrated effort, a lot of work.
I thank you for sharing and not being offended at my words.
I will think more deeply, before I write and be more careful.
I would not want to cause problems here, Lord knows everyone has enough on their plates already.
Sigh.
Thank you again for all you do.
(((HUGS)))
leafy
I am trying to work through a lot of stuff right now. I would never mean to try to cause dissension here on CD. It has been a respite for me.
It is true that things can be readily misinterpreted between emotion and typed words. I appreciate your perspective . I think in a way, we are saying the same thing in a different light. The love is always there, the substance abuse and lifestyle can cause a lot of frustration and grief.
My post was my trying to see things in a different way, to help release me from the dismay of it all.
I am trying to gather up 'tools" and share them as well.
It was very difficult for me to see my daughter walk out the door. She was a bit of a mess, despondent, and speaking literally of being abused by a man, and not able to get away from him. That struck a deep chord in me, domestic violence ran rampant in my husbands background.
I offered to take her to a DV shelter, to a rehab, but she would have none of it, telling me
"Those places are horrible, obviously you have never been to one."
In the course of this conversation, I remained as calm as possible. While inside of me there was a battle going on.
I realize that there is no way my daughter can stay with us. She is not ready to help herself. I cannot begin to help someone who will not help themselves. No one can.
So, I must continue to try to build myself up and live my life. Rather than go down the road of awfullizing, I want to think on the hope, and the possibilities my two have. It is a concentrated effort, a lot of work.
I thank you for sharing and not being offended at my words.
I will think more deeply, before I write and be more careful.
I would not want to cause problems here, Lord knows everyone has enough on their plates already.
Sigh.
Thank you again for all you do.
(((HUGS)))
leafy
I also had to think twice at that phrase Leafy mentioned - "those of us in SA"...
Then I looked at which forum this thread is in: substance abuse.
This thread could easily have been posted in General, or Parent Emeritus... it isn't just a substance abuse issue, it's an issue for every parent of a challenging child, whatever the age and whatever the challenge.
Some of us do not go through the forums... we go through "new posts", so may not be as aware of the "context". I'm glad it was brought up, though. It's a reminder to me - to all of us - to remember the context of the thread in which we are posting.
Then I looked at which forum this thread is in: substance abuse.
This thread could easily have been posted in General, or Parent Emeritus... it isn't just a substance abuse issue, it's an issue for every parent of a challenging child, whatever the age and whatever the challenge.
Some of us do not go through the forums... we go through "new posts", so may not be as aware of the "context". I'm glad it was brought up, though. It's a reminder to me - to all of us - to remember the context of the thread in which we are posting.
New Leaf
Well-Known Member
Thank you Insane,
I will be more careful next time.
I had initially posted the Frankl video in FOO, then thought it would be such a good tool for other folks, who might not visit there. I chose to post in Substance Abuse Forum, because I had read so many times there, folks asking the question on how could they enjoy their lives, knowing their children were on drugs and homeless.
This is what I have gone through too, with my eldest. On meth and homeless. I know how it feels and it is what kept me enabling, without even realizing it.
Thank you for your kindness and understanding.
leafy
I will be more careful next time.
I had initially posted the Frankl video in FOO, then thought it would be such a good tool for other folks, who might not visit there. I chose to post in Substance Abuse Forum, because I had read so many times there, folks asking the question on how could they enjoy their lives, knowing their children were on drugs and homeless.
This is what I have gone through too, with my eldest. On meth and homeless. I know how it feels and it is what kept me enabling, without even realizing it.
Thank you for your kindness and understanding.
leafy
Yes Insane, I often do not go through the forums, the mobile version of this board just shows recent posts and I use my phone most of the time. I cannot remember now but it is very likely I replied through the mobile app. Leafy I was actually agreeing with your thoughts, that those of us who deal with substance abuse have to find the good things about our difficult children otherwise it would be very difficult to survive and help them through the rehab process. We are good at identifying the reason they are so hateful and their behavior so ugly, hurtful, even criminal. We go through so many extreme emotions, sometimes even hatred for who they have become, one of the reasons why the SA forum is so important, we need a safe place to vent and express our feelings without being judged. In our rational moments we understand it is not them that we hate but the drugs that cause them to act that way.
I do think that substance abuse is different than other difficult children issues. I have been through both, having had a difficult child since about 2 years old, and then developing into substance abuse at around age 14. It was then that I had to face that she may die, that I could not help her. The fear that I felt as she went missing so many times, the intense hatred I felt towards the people who polluted her with drugs, the guy who told me that he now owned her, the strip club that she began working in....it all drove me mad, someone that I didn't like anymore. And through it all I knew all I wanted to do was help her because I knew what she was like when the drugs and alcohol did not consumer her.
I guess what I was saying is that substance abuse reminds us all the time that we have to find the good in our loved ones.
I did not think I was saying anything different that you were leafy, maybe just differently and perhaps I did not do that well.
A good reminder that even in our haste in answering we need to be careful.
I do think that substance abuse is different than other difficult children issues. I have been through both, having had a difficult child since about 2 years old, and then developing into substance abuse at around age 14. It was then that I had to face that she may die, that I could not help her. The fear that I felt as she went missing so many times, the intense hatred I felt towards the people who polluted her with drugs, the guy who told me that he now owned her, the strip club that she began working in....it all drove me mad, someone that I didn't like anymore. And through it all I knew all I wanted to do was help her because I knew what she was like when the drugs and alcohol did not consumer her.
I guess what I was saying is that substance abuse reminds us all the time that we have to find the good in our loved ones.
I did not think I was saying anything different that you were leafy, maybe just differently and perhaps I did not do that well.
A good reminder that even in our haste in answering we need to be careful.
New Leaf
Well-Known Member
We are all in this together. Such a difficult road to walk. Hugs for your hurting heart Nancy. Our stories are very similar, my daughter began having troubles when she was 9 or so. I didn't think so, but in retrospect, the signs were there. Thank you for sharing your story, it breaks my heart, what Moms have been through here. It is so very tough.
We all have different ways of expressing ourselves, it is all good, I think the heart behind it and the intention to help and be kind and share is the main thing. You were fine in your expressing, I have gone through so many phases in trying to process all of this, getting whammied with the flu hasn't helped any, please forgive my faux pas in writing.
I am so very thankful for your work, and for all of those who have helped me try to find my way through the fog. We all have our good days and our challenged days. Today has been a challenge day for me. But, it will be okay.
Thank you again, ever so much for your kindness, and turning your experience and story into a vessel of hope for those who come here to land.
(((HUGS)))
leafy
We all have different ways of expressing ourselves, it is all good, I think the heart behind it and the intention to help and be kind and share is the main thing. You were fine in your expressing, I have gone through so many phases in trying to process all of this, getting whammied with the flu hasn't helped any, please forgive my faux pas in writing.
I am so very thankful for your work, and for all of those who have helped me try to find my way through the fog. We all have our good days and our challenged days. Today has been a challenge day for me. But, it will be okay.
Thank you again, ever so much for your kindness, and turning your experience and story into a vessel of hope for those who come here to land.
(((HUGS)))
leafy
I believe that I have used the phrase "those of us in the SA forum" in the past. It wasn't meant to be exclusionary. I was just pointing out that we may be coming from a different perspective than those that have not dealt with loved ones who have substance abuse issues.
Addiction brings a whole new set of problems that those who usually post in forums like early childhood or general don't have to deal with. I wouldn't wish theft, lies, rehab, jail, hospitalizations, detox, and overdoses on anyone. So it might be harder for those of us that have lived through those things to see the positive side of our difficult children. It doesn't mean that we love them any less, though.
by the way, gift from god was used to describe our troubled loved ones when I first came to the board twelve years ago. I actually liked it. However, some members didn't like it and the administration thought that difficult children might help more people find the site when using search engines so we switched to difficult children.
I guess it goes to show you can never make everyone happy.
~Kathy
Addiction brings a whole new set of problems that those who usually post in forums like early childhood or general don't have to deal with. I wouldn't wish theft, lies, rehab, jail, hospitalizations, detox, and overdoses on anyone. So it might be harder for those of us that have lived through those things to see the positive side of our difficult children. It doesn't mean that we love them any less, though.
by the way, gift from god was used to describe our troubled loved ones when I first came to the board twelve years ago. I actually liked it. However, some members didn't like it and the administration thought that difficult children might help more people find the site when using search engines so we switched to difficult children.
I guess it goes to show you can never make everyone happy.
~Kathy
New Leaf
Well-Known Member
Thank you Kathy.
This is true.This is why I posted in SA, my d cs are actively using, and have been for a long while, I am searching to look beyond the despair and the reality, for relief and belief.
Especially since the whole reality and truth of it just recently came to light.
Searching for a way to see past all of it, even though my girls are mired in the swamp of it. I say prayers for them, but have found the more tools I have, the better.
I have got to keep my chin up, for myself, my son and my husband. Sometimes that is hard, hard work.
Some days are better than others. Addiction and substance abuse is a horrible thing.
Yup, can't make everyone happy, and that is really what makes the world a beautiful place, everyone is different.
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective and for your work.
I truly appreciate it.
leafy
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Copabanana
Well-Known Member
I did not hear New Leaf looking for positives in the way her children were living. I heard the opposite. I heard her saying that she has chosen to live from the belief that they can get a hold of their lives and live meaningfully.
By holding this belief she is then able to feel control in her own life and live meaningfully.
New Leaf as I read her words believes that life is all of it a challenge, little of which we can control. We can only choose how we see and respond to what comes at us, and what we have faced in the past, and understand that too.
I think that is the context through which she is speaking.
Yes.
Thank you, Insane.
Yes. A challenge to us to make ourselves and our lives our own. The way we respond to life's challenges is the only thing that we have. That is what I thought New Leaf was saying.
Yes. Even for us.
Does this not go both ways? To be careful about responses so as to not offend?
New Leaf, your replies are invariably generous and loving and inclusive. You are a gift to us. Each of us responds to our challenges by going in our own ways.
The kind of open communication you have encouraged on your thread is a good thing. For me.
I came to this forum following New Leaf. I too do not make note of forums. I will be more careful in the future. My son does not use hard drugs as far as I know. But we have lived through 10 years of conflict, homelessness, hospitalizations, chronic illness, and more.
Yes.
I did not read judgment. There are as many ways to respond to difficult children as there are parents. Do not each of these parents merit a safe place?
Again, I did not read anything that intimated there was anything positive about the way our children are living.
The term, Gift from God gets at what I believe was the intention of this thread. That we as parents have a choice as to how we respond to the challenge we are given by the current state and circumstances of our children.
Thank you, New Leaf. I am grateful for your support. Thank you.
COPA
COPA I am not going to quote statements and comment, it's too much of a hassle for me to do that. I am also not going to go back and forth supporting or justifying my comments. My only request is that if someone disagrees with the tone of something someone said they should go to that person and get clarification and not bury it into a post.
New Leaf
Well-Known Member
I do not wish to offend anyone. Please forgive my causing this exchange.
I did not mean to show disagreement, only shared what I felt.
I did not intend to bury anything in my post. If I did, I would not have written anything at all.I was simply trying to say that I am an "us".
I am sorry if my expression offended anyone in any way.
I have tried to apologize for the misunderstanding. Please understand again, that I am coming from a very raw place, also, I am not aware of any rules about posting, where things are more appropriate in one place more so than others. I do not want there to be division, here, and certainly do not wish anything I have written to be a catalyst for it.
I am very deeply saddened by this, that I have caused hakaka (strife).
I humbly ask for forgiveness.
I will try to explain from a cultural perspective. I did not wish to offend anyone at all, merely say that in posting in SA, I did so coming from this
as my center:
Kākou
Kākou is the Hawaiian value of inclusiveness. It means “all of us” and “we are in this together.” Kākou is very unifying when applied to language, and all are taught to learn, speak, and practice “the language of we.” Coupled with the value of Lōkahi, Kākou promotes synergy as a habit of creation which seeks additional solutions and alternatives. There is a definite as-spoken-aloud-to-include connotation within the kaona of this value, thus we’ll often refer to Kākou as our value of communication.
I wish deeply and sincerely for this to stop and plead with all of us to apply principles of aloha towards one another.
A, ala, watchful, alertness
L, lokahi, working with unity
O, oia'i'o, truthful honesty
H, ha'aha'a, humility
A, ahonui, patient perseverance
I think all of us have good intentions towards this effort and are coming from different layers and levels of understanding and background.
I am truly, deeply sorry Nancy, for offending you with my writing.
I will be taking a break this weekend from the forum and reflecting on my offense.
I am truly sorry.
Mahalo nui for your kindness.
Me ke Aloha
leafy
I did not mean to show disagreement, only shared what I felt.
I did not intend to bury anything in my post. If I did, I would not have written anything at all.I was simply trying to say that I am an "us".
I am sorry if my expression offended anyone in any way.
I have tried to apologize for the misunderstanding. Please understand again, that I am coming from a very raw place, also, I am not aware of any rules about posting, where things are more appropriate in one place more so than others. I do not want there to be division, here, and certainly do not wish anything I have written to be a catalyst for it.
I am very deeply saddened by this, that I have caused hakaka (strife).
I humbly ask for forgiveness.
I will try to explain from a cultural perspective. I did not wish to offend anyone at all, merely say that in posting in SA, I did so coming from this
as my center:
Kākou
Kākou is the Hawaiian value of inclusiveness. It means “all of us” and “we are in this together.” Kākou is very unifying when applied to language, and all are taught to learn, speak, and practice “the language of we.” Coupled with the value of Lōkahi, Kākou promotes synergy as a habit of creation which seeks additional solutions and alternatives. There is a definite as-spoken-aloud-to-include connotation within the kaona of this value, thus we’ll often refer to Kākou as our value of communication.
I wish deeply and sincerely for this to stop and plead with all of us to apply principles of aloha towards one another.
A, ala, watchful, alertness
L, lokahi, working with unity
O, oia'i'o, truthful honesty
H, ha'aha'a, humility
A, ahonui, patient perseverance
I think all of us have good intentions towards this effort and are coming from different layers and levels of understanding and background.
I am truly, deeply sorry Nancy, for offending you with my writing.
I will be taking a break this weekend from the forum and reflecting on my offense.
I am truly sorry.
Mahalo nui for your kindness.
Me ke Aloha
leafy
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Of course you are.
I really hope you do not do this, New Leaf, unless you feel it is healing for you to do so. I will feel very, very badly if you feel rebuked or remiss or excluded. Or post on FOO or PE.
I am sorry for my part in this, as well. I wanted to support the value in the thread to me and to others. I should have learned my lesson and stayed confined to FOO. I will.
COPA
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
New Leaf, you did not cause this exchange.
Copa, please don't turn this into an us versus them. It is not. I was simply explaining to New Leaf why I used a phrase that she thought was exclusionary.
That's it. Nothing else. We welcome everyone in SA and New Leaf is an excellent contributor who is a valued member. I really don't appreciate you trying to turn this into a FOO or PE versus SA. All of the forums offer valuable support and advice based on different member needs.
New Leaf, I hope you understood what I was trying to say.
~Kathy
That's it. Nothing else. We welcome everyone in SA and New Leaf is an excellent contributor who is a valued member. I really don't appreciate you trying to turn this into a FOO or PE versus SA. All of the forums offer valuable support and advice based on different member needs.
New Leaf, I hope you understood what I was trying to say.
~Kathy
New Leaf
Well-Known Member
Okay, I am breaking my word that I would not post in SA until after the weekend, so I could reflect, and things could cool down a bit.
I do not like to break my word, my dad always said, be a man of your word. (I was the tomboy of the bunch).
I feel a kuleana, a responsibility here, because I am the one who stirred all of this up with my comment.
So, I will break my word.
And go out on a limb.....well, after all I am "New Leaf".
My statement has created conflict. Conflict is a part of life, uncomfortable, I do not like it, but none the less, a part of life.
Here is the statement-
"One reply mentioned "those of us in SA"
I was a bit taken aback by it, it felt kind of exclusionary.
I am sorry, for my honesty in writing of this, it may be my rawness, in the throes of it all."
I am deeply sorry for this statement hurting Nancy, Kathy and possibly others.
I was not thinking from a empathic viewpoint when I wrote it, I was feeling very raw, had woken from a deep sleep, troubled, and sick with the flu.
May I explain further, without more repercussions, what I was trying to express in my words, my feelings. Please understand, I am not trying to drag this on, I truly wish it to stop.
Here goes;
I am a very sensitive person, I have been working on that , trying to be stronger. The us, thing, got to me. It is because I have forever been a them, with my FOO, with my feelings of low-self esteem, with being a minority race and the racism that can be attached to it, even in the land of aloha. I am a them. I am a them, when I sit in the lunchroom and folks talk about their wonderful un-d cs.
In my thread on SA, I am an us, (geez, I so wish I wasn't), but I am. I am an us affected, no infected with my d cs drug use and the resulting domino affect on everything.
My point in posting the thread in SA after seeing Frankls video, seemed an exciting epiphany for me, that I just had to share, because it I thought it would be a great tool, for myself and others.
My truthful honest expression within my long post, that groggy early morning, hurt Nancy, and I am sorry for it.
Sorry, so sorry Nancy,
I was not trying to be hurtful or divisive, just expressing. In that, I need to be more cautious, and have more compassion, fellow feeling, that in my not reserving my answers, not thinking more before I write, I have hurt someone else.
I have missed the very mark Frankl was sharing about.
Instead of seeing what Nancy's response was, in a positive light, I went to my own depths of self doubt, shame and fear, self sensitivity, I forgot to be careful of stepping on another's toes, while expressing sentiment.
It is my fault, I will take full responsibility for it.
Whatever has happened in these posts, has happened, the words cannot be undone. Whatever has happened in the past, cannot be undone.
I would imagine that things can get a little touchy and testy at times, with the enormity of the issues people are suffering from, and the lack of ability to express with spoken word, facial expression and gesturing.
It is very easy for typed words to be misconstrued.
Now I beg all of us to stop, reflect in the positive, and take a deep breath.
This is a soft place for battle weary parents to land.
I am very very thankful for all of you on CD. All of these forums are so valid in parents lives, each connecting with one another on the journeys they face.
In the challenge with difficult children there is no degree or category above or beyond the other.
A parents pain for their child, is their pain. I am very thankful there is an avenue here to express that pain, and search for meaning, purpose and joy.
Can we all view these the posts that are coming from wonderful, thoughtful, amazing, heartfelt people, expressing their thoughts from their own perspective, in a positive light?
Can we remove imaginings of exclusion (leafy), or the mention of it, or thoughts of divisiveness and view each other and our words as Frankl taught,
Presupposing all of -US- in our search for meaning and purpose in a positive way.
My lovely, lovely friends, it is almost Thanksgiving.
I do hope and wish for a peaceful, joy-filled holiday for each and every one of us.
Thank you all for allowing me to express myself.
As the song says
Thankful
Somedays, we forget to look around us,
Somedays, we can't see the joy that surrounds us,
So caught up inside ourselves,
We take when we should give,
So for tonight we pray for,
What we know can be,
And on this day we hope for,
What we still can't see,
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though we all can still do more,
There's so much to be thankful for,
Look beyond ourselves,
There's so much sorrow,
It's way to late to say, I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth,
It's so long overdue,
So for tonight we pray for,
What we know can be,
And everyday, we hope for,
What we still can't see,
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though we all can still do more,
There's so much to be thankful for,
Even with our differences,
There is a place we're all connected,
Each of us can find each others light,
So for tonight, we pray for
What we know can be,
And on this day, we hope for,
What we still can't see,
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though this world needs so much more
There's so much to be thankful for.
My heart felt Mahalo
leafy
I do not like to break my word, my dad always said, be a man of your word. (I was the tomboy of the bunch).
I feel a kuleana, a responsibility here, because I am the one who stirred all of this up with my comment.
So, I will break my word.
And go out on a limb.....well, after all I am "New Leaf".
My statement has created conflict. Conflict is a part of life, uncomfortable, I do not like it, but none the less, a part of life.
Here is the statement-
"One reply mentioned "those of us in SA"
I was a bit taken aback by it, it felt kind of exclusionary.
I am sorry, for my honesty in writing of this, it may be my rawness, in the throes of it all."
I am deeply sorry for this statement hurting Nancy, Kathy and possibly others.
I was not thinking from a empathic viewpoint when I wrote it, I was feeling very raw, had woken from a deep sleep, troubled, and sick with the flu.
May I explain further, without more repercussions, what I was trying to express in my words, my feelings. Please understand, I am not trying to drag this on, I truly wish it to stop.
Here goes;
I am a very sensitive person, I have been working on that , trying to be stronger. The us, thing, got to me. It is because I have forever been a them, with my FOO, with my feelings of low-self esteem, with being a minority race and the racism that can be attached to it, even in the land of aloha. I am a them. I am a them, when I sit in the lunchroom and folks talk about their wonderful un-d cs.
In my thread on SA, I am an us, (geez, I so wish I wasn't), but I am. I am an us affected, no infected with my d cs drug use and the resulting domino affect on everything.
My point in posting the thread in SA after seeing Frankls video, seemed an exciting epiphany for me, that I just had to share, because it I thought it would be a great tool, for myself and others.
My truthful honest expression within my long post, that groggy early morning, hurt Nancy, and I am sorry for it.
Sorry, so sorry Nancy,
I was not trying to be hurtful or divisive, just expressing. In that, I need to be more cautious, and have more compassion, fellow feeling, that in my not reserving my answers, not thinking more before I write, I have hurt someone else.
I have missed the very mark Frankl was sharing about.
Instead of seeing what Nancy's response was, in a positive light, I went to my own depths of self doubt, shame and fear, self sensitivity, I forgot to be careful of stepping on another's toes, while expressing sentiment.
It is my fault, I will take full responsibility for it.
Whatever has happened in these posts, has happened, the words cannot be undone. Whatever has happened in the past, cannot be undone.
I would imagine that things can get a little touchy and testy at times, with the enormity of the issues people are suffering from, and the lack of ability to express with spoken word, facial expression and gesturing.
It is very easy for typed words to be misconstrued.
Now I beg all of us to stop, reflect in the positive, and take a deep breath.
This is a soft place for battle weary parents to land.
I am very very thankful for all of you on CD. All of these forums are so valid in parents lives, each connecting with one another on the journeys they face.
In the challenge with difficult children there is no degree or category above or beyond the other.
A parents pain for their child, is their pain. I am very thankful there is an avenue here to express that pain, and search for meaning, purpose and joy.
Can we all view these the posts that are coming from wonderful, thoughtful, amazing, heartfelt people, expressing their thoughts from their own perspective, in a positive light?
Can we remove imaginings of exclusion (leafy), or the mention of it, or thoughts of divisiveness and view each other and our words as Frankl taught,
Presupposing all of -US- in our search for meaning and purpose in a positive way.
My lovely, lovely friends, it is almost Thanksgiving.
I do hope and wish for a peaceful, joy-filled holiday for each and every one of us.
Thank you all for allowing me to express myself.
As the song says
Thankful
Somedays, we forget to look around us,
Somedays, we can't see the joy that surrounds us,
So caught up inside ourselves,
We take when we should give,
So for tonight we pray for,
What we know can be,
And on this day we hope for,
What we still can't see,
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though we all can still do more,
There's so much to be thankful for,
Look beyond ourselves,
There's so much sorrow,
It's way to late to say, I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth,
It's so long overdue,
So for tonight we pray for,
What we know can be,
And everyday, we hope for,
What we still can't see,
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though we all can still do more,
There's so much to be thankful for,
Even with our differences,
There is a place we're all connected,
Each of us can find each others light,
So for tonight, we pray for
What we know can be,
And on this day, we hope for,
What we still can't see,
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though this world needs so much more
There's so much to be thankful for.
My heart felt Mahalo
leafy
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
I think that only usefulness has come from your initial post, your honesty, the responses, the clarifications and the exchange. We can all take responsibility for causing hurt in this life, intentional and otherwise. I too am sorry.
We have seen over and over again on CD that it is difficult to perfectly titrate open expression in such a way that there is never hurt. The best we can do if we try, as have you, is clean it up in ourselves especially, and to others. In this way we grow, and we grow close to one another, as integrity and trust grow.
Thank you, New Leaf.
COPA
