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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Seeing the Paths of our Difficult Children in a Positive Light
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 672880" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>New Leaf, this is a wonderful post. I agree one hundred percent. The only way to survive this challenge is to grow from it. We have already suffered enough. Our suffering does not help them or us.My son is living as he needs and wants right now, in a way that has meaning for him. It must or he would not do it. As he learns and meets challenge and grows, he will find his way to where he needs to go and who he needs to be. I will not be afraid. I will live my life so fully so that I do not make my fear or guilt a center of my life, or act from it, towards him.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>This is the most important part. Not talking down to them. Realizing that our judgments come from our own fear, guilt. If we can think in ways that illuminate our own paths, where we need to grow in ourselves, instead of focusing on them, we show the way to them. There is no security that they will follow, but we leave the circle of their pain, and our own.</p><p></p><p>Realizing that our judgments can be as difficult as any one of their behaviors, towards us, is key, for me. Making us and often them miserable and making us ignorant. Throwing darkness on our path rather than illuminating it.</p><p></p><p>Thank you, New Leaf.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 672880, member: 18958"] New Leaf, this is a wonderful post. I agree one hundred percent. The only way to survive this challenge is to grow from it. We have already suffered enough. Our suffering does not help them or us.My son is living as he needs and wants right now, in a way that has meaning for him. It must or he would not do it. As he learns and meets challenge and grows, he will find his way to where he needs to go and who he needs to be. I will not be afraid. I will live my life so fully so that I do not make my fear or guilt a center of my life, or act from it, towards him. Yes. Yes. This is the most important part. Not talking down to them. Realizing that our judgments come from our own fear, guilt. If we can think in ways that illuminate our own paths, where we need to grow in ourselves, instead of focusing on them, we show the way to them. There is no security that they will follow, but we leave the circle of their pain, and our own. Realizing that our judgments can be as difficult as any one of their behaviors, towards us, is key, for me. Making us and often them miserable and making us ignorant. Throwing darkness on our path rather than illuminating it. Thank you, New Leaf. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Seeing the Paths of our Difficult Children in a Positive Light
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