H
Heloise
Guest
Hello, I am new to this group. My husband and I are wondering what to do.
Our daughter just turned 19 (was radical attachment disorder; now antisocial personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder, delusions, and mixed episodes of manic/depressive combined). She cycles between two states -- usually a few days with some mood control and sane reasoning (she kept this up once for 3 months, the only time of any length); then several days or even weeks with no mood control and a raw display of antisocial personality disorder and delusional thinking. In the more reasonable state, there is a thread of conversation and behavior that goes on there picking up where it left off, like youve left a bookmark in Book A. It's the same for the smoldering disordered state (like M/D combined), there is a thread of conversation and behavior that goes on there picking up where it left off, like a bookmark in Book B. She can often hide the worse state in public to stay cool, but she doesn't compare the two states.
We adopted her at 3 from Bulgaria; her behavior was off course from day 3 and has disrupted our lives, especially mine, with violence, aggression, assaults, cruelty, threats, deviousness, you name it. It seems I and others have tried everything in our power. We just see more of the same (so unpleasant). Shes quit high school recently, and we would like her to live elsewhere, so long as she resists working on anything. While her Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) diagnosis as a child didn't lend itself to medication, Ive asked her to consider mood-stabilizing medication, and she is vacillating and negative about this.
We are considering eviction or renting her somewhere to live. We think eviction is reasonable. She has nowhere to go, and I have some concern about retaliation. If we rent her a place, she might need a place to herself, as there is the question of how she would get along with someone else when shes in the Book B mode on home turf. She feels entitled to anything she wants. We live in a high-rent metropolitan area; she has a part-time minimum-wage job, runs through money, and has weak educational and executive skills. She needs to live close by to walk to work; she has no drivers permit (I've thought it safer overall), and no with buses. She convinced an acquaintance to let her drive his truck around in traffic last week. She is determined to get a car one way or another.
To compound it all, my husbands ex involves herself in the name of looking out for child number 2 24 year-old Paul, living with her since 2008, diagnosed with bipolar or schizoaffective bipolar at 19. She has disparaged my husband to their two sons (the one whos 24 and one whos 29) for as long as I have been in the picture, and has told Paul and our daughter that I have no mothering skills for at least five years. Ive spoken to her about it to no avail. Paul has now adopted her attitude and texts/calls our daughter with reasons why mostly I and also my husband are responsible for the way she has turned out, and how this upsets him, which upsets his mother. He says I should admit to our daughter and all that I have been misguided as a mother. The elder son who is 29 is married and expecting a baby, and he and his wife seem happier staying at a distance from this all.
Naturally we would like some peace. We could be content by ourselves and with friends, if it goes that way.
Do you have any advice on evicting versus renting? An eviction notice has already been served, and we could go to court any day. Thank you in advance for your replies!
Heloise
Our daughter just turned 19 (was radical attachment disorder; now antisocial personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder, delusions, and mixed episodes of manic/depressive combined). She cycles between two states -- usually a few days with some mood control and sane reasoning (she kept this up once for 3 months, the only time of any length); then several days or even weeks with no mood control and a raw display of antisocial personality disorder and delusional thinking. In the more reasonable state, there is a thread of conversation and behavior that goes on there picking up where it left off, like youve left a bookmark in Book A. It's the same for the smoldering disordered state (like M/D combined), there is a thread of conversation and behavior that goes on there picking up where it left off, like a bookmark in Book B. She can often hide the worse state in public to stay cool, but she doesn't compare the two states.
We adopted her at 3 from Bulgaria; her behavior was off course from day 3 and has disrupted our lives, especially mine, with violence, aggression, assaults, cruelty, threats, deviousness, you name it. It seems I and others have tried everything in our power. We just see more of the same (so unpleasant). Shes quit high school recently, and we would like her to live elsewhere, so long as she resists working on anything. While her Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) diagnosis as a child didn't lend itself to medication, Ive asked her to consider mood-stabilizing medication, and she is vacillating and negative about this.
We are considering eviction or renting her somewhere to live. We think eviction is reasonable. She has nowhere to go, and I have some concern about retaliation. If we rent her a place, she might need a place to herself, as there is the question of how she would get along with someone else when shes in the Book B mode on home turf. She feels entitled to anything she wants. We live in a high-rent metropolitan area; she has a part-time minimum-wage job, runs through money, and has weak educational and executive skills. She needs to live close by to walk to work; she has no drivers permit (I've thought it safer overall), and no with buses. She convinced an acquaintance to let her drive his truck around in traffic last week. She is determined to get a car one way or another.
To compound it all, my husbands ex involves herself in the name of looking out for child number 2 24 year-old Paul, living with her since 2008, diagnosed with bipolar or schizoaffective bipolar at 19. She has disparaged my husband to their two sons (the one whos 24 and one whos 29) for as long as I have been in the picture, and has told Paul and our daughter that I have no mothering skills for at least five years. Ive spoken to her about it to no avail. Paul has now adopted her attitude and texts/calls our daughter with reasons why mostly I and also my husband are responsible for the way she has turned out, and how this upsets him, which upsets his mother. He says I should admit to our daughter and all that I have been misguided as a mother. The elder son who is 29 is married and expecting a baby, and he and his wife seem happier staying at a distance from this all.
Naturally we would like some peace. We could be content by ourselves and with friends, if it goes that way.
Do you have any advice on evicting versus renting? An eviction notice has already been served, and we could go to court any day. Thank you in advance for your replies!
Heloise