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Self blame is self pity?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 718972" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I know exactly how you feel. </p><p>It's so draining and condescending when people try and "blame" the parents. I'll be the first to admit I made mistakes as a parent but I made sure to teach my son right from wrong. We gave him a stable loving home to live in. We set a strong work ethic example for him. I warned him many times that if he continued to be rebellious and make poor choices that he would end up in jail.</p><p></p><p>I think we all have gone through the emotions of self doubt. It didn't help any when my son would yell at me that I was a horrible mother. For me, I had to really step back and take a look at my role and own what was mine to own and let the rest go. </p><p>Also, when our kids become adults they are free to choose how they will live. We have no control over that and most often they resent any influence we might offer.</p><p></p><p>I know with my son, DNA plays a huge role. He is just like his bio-father and yet that man was in my sons life for just a few years and that was limited. </p><p> </p><p>I'm reminded of stories where a child grows up in complete dysfunction and yet they grow into a responsible adult. I wonder if that judge would say the parents are responsible for their child's success<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite12" alt="o_O" title="Er... what? o_O" loading="lazy" data-shortname="o_O" /></p><p></p><p>Bottom line, everyone comes to a point in their lives when they decide for themselves how they want to live. It always comes down to the choices we make.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 718972, member: 18516"] I know exactly how you feel. It's so draining and condescending when people try and "blame" the parents. I'll be the first to admit I made mistakes as a parent but I made sure to teach my son right from wrong. We gave him a stable loving home to live in. We set a strong work ethic example for him. I warned him many times that if he continued to be rebellious and make poor choices that he would end up in jail. I think we all have gone through the emotions of self doubt. It didn't help any when my son would yell at me that I was a horrible mother. For me, I had to really step back and take a look at my role and own what was mine to own and let the rest go. Also, when our kids become adults they are free to choose how they will live. We have no control over that and most often they resent any influence we might offer. I know with my son, DNA plays a huge role. He is just like his bio-father and yet that man was in my sons life for just a few years and that was limited. I'm reminded of stories where a child grows up in complete dysfunction and yet they grow into a responsible adult. I wonder if that judge would say the parents are responsible for their child's successo_O Bottom line, everyone comes to a point in their lives when they decide for themselves how they want to live. It always comes down to the choices we make. [/QUOTE]
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Self blame is self pity?
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