Self calming

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by crazymama30, Feb 3, 2009.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    So therapist is apparently working on self calming stuff with difficult child. She said they have learned thru research that the brain remembers smells in context to what you learn. Many times when you remember a place or an event you remember the smells. Ok sounds good. When I smell popcorn I think of movies.

    Therapist is really sensitive to smells, but found something she can use with the kiddos that they can smell and does not kill her. Chapstick. Vanilla scented chapstick, in difficult child's case, she gave him coca cola vanilla scented chapstick.

    So when difficult child is super hyper, I say chapstick and he is supposed to go to his calm spot mentally. Now what is cracking me up, is that it works. He gets way out of control, I say chapstick and it is like someone flipped a switch. Wow. I don't know how long it will work, but for now it is great.

    easy child is royally po'ed. She does not know why I keep telling difficult child chapstick. She has noticed that he calms down after I say it, but she told me "I just don't know how putting on chapstick calms you down." I am not telling her as she will over use it or make fun of him and any chance we have of this working is gone. I am not sure if I will tell husband anytime soon either, as he has been very critical of difficult child lately, and he may do the same thing. He just cannot stay calm with difficult child lately, he just blows. Maybe I need to do the chapstick thing with him.
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    We grew lavender and K and I made little sachets filled with them.
    We also made sprays for her rooms with lavender oil. So she will hold her little lavender pillow, in kind of the same way.
    I spray her room at night to help calm her and to help her sleep.
    I really helps!
    Good for your therapist and difficult child, heck who cares what it is, go with it!
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Maybe next step should be helping difficult child to remind himself or tell himself "chapstick" so that everyone else doesn't need to be told about it?? Would he try that?

    I had heard something like this method before- except while it might be smeels with some people, it might be a sound or a visual with others. With me, it was a visual.
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    That's great!

    We did something similar for difficult child 1 to help him through blood draws, but for him it was more of a visual that he had to create in his mind. The therapist spent several guided imagery sessions with difficult child 1 prior to going to the lab for blood draws, and it helped him tremendously (that and the Lexapro!).

    Now when he goes, he just closes his eyes and gets his mind to that "happy place" and then he tells the technician to go ahead with the procedure. No more meltdowns or panic attacks!
  5. Janna

    Janna New Member

    When I want to strangle my kids, I go upstairs and grab my seashell (of course, I lock myself in the bedroom, too LMAO).

    I wish D wasn't so impulsive, I have heard of this type of technique having good success before.

    That's awesome that it's working. You know, if the chapstick stops working, maybe you could find something else.
  6. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    So nice that you found something that seems to be working! My only concern would be that Coca-Cola Vanilla is not the "regular" chapstick flavor....and so I would stock up on a TON of it...just in case they stop making that particular variety.

    Keep up the good work!

  7. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    For my difficult child, if I put a small piece of chocolate (70% coco) on a plate anywhere near him, he eats it and it helps him calm down. It does not always work, and if whatever is agitating him is not removed it won't work at all. I thought it was the chocolate but it could be the association? Very interesting.