Self Care....and GO!
I guess for me it's always been do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
It sounds cliche but the more you love yourself-the more others love you. I've struggled with self esteem my whole life. When I started taking up for myself, I think people respected me more. Once I learned to be ok with myself, I realized it wasn't my business what everyone else thought of me. People generally tend to find a new target when we rise above it. Other people you learn to love will not replace the ones whose love you are lacking. It does leave room for some good stuff when you put it down for a while.I guess for me it's always been do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Problem being others don't feel the same. I can't change that about myself and I don't want to.
I do have to do better at being ok with disappointments in my own life. The fact that my love does not get reciprocated back to me.
It's all well and good that I can learn to love myself, I want others to love me too and you just can't make that happen.
Doing for myself that which makes me feel good doesn't replace what I am missing from others.
Am I sounding negative? Not meaning to, trying to be honest with myself.
It's those important people in my life that let me down in this area.
Trying to figure it out so I can learn to let it go.
Peace and Love
Very nicely stated!Whew, something I had as a baseline for most of my life. But with me it's been with that hook that I should be able to expect others to do the same towards me. I'm working hard to get through and find some balance from the yin to the yang of this. Now it feels like I've gone way to the other side at times, thinking that protecting myself from others is best.
I think though, actual self care is different. I think self care is eating right, exercising, meditating and such, even when we don't feel like it but knowing we will feel better later for having done it. And being grounded enough to blow off bs that comes to us from others knowing their bs is about them and not us. Some sort of internal compass that guides us through truth instead of letting the winds of others emotions and opinions control us.
I'm still working on it. How to have the oh so important connection with others but not let them dictate my worth.
To comment on the above statement, I also grew up with very low self esteem. I believe it was because my mother was an alcoholic and my father would beat her, police would come yadda yadda.
I used to think it was because of me. I also thought I was horribly ugly. I could barely stand to look at myself in a mirror. I was painfully shy too.
I also thought that everyone lived like I did and when I realized that they did NOT I was very confused.
I always knew that when "I grew up" I would not live like "that". Whatever "that" was.
I was set on making a happy life for myself when I was in my teen years. In my mid 20's my first husband walked out on me and my ten month old son. My parents had been dead for many years by then. Crushing.
I then met my current husband a few years later and life was finally good again. Then OUR son went off the rails at the age of 15.
Life has a funny way of kicking your ass doesn't it?