hearts and roses
Mind Reader
{{{LINDA}}} I will keep you and yours in my thoughts. I'm so sorry that you're feeling so terribly. You need to take care of yourself and do what is best for everyone. Sending gentle hugs~
Sensitive issue....
- Thread starter timer lady
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F
flutterbee
Guest
((((hugs)))) Sending you strength and good thoughts through the difficult times.
Linda,
You and husband have put everything of yourselves into the tweedles for the last seven years and have left absolutely no stone unturned. Now your body is telling you it can't go any further without serious rest and repair, the kind that cannot include the day to day combat that is life with a difficult child. As we both know, sometimes all the love in the world isn't enough :frown:
You're one of the best warrior moms I know but you are only human and you need to get yourself well again before attempting to continue the good fight. On some level KT knows this I'm sure, and hopefully long term she will come to understand it and work through and past it. But for right now, you are your number one priority and her inability to process it or her inability to deal with other issues involving anger without physical violence will put you in jeopardy. By getting healthier, you will be able to be there for KT & WM in the future; I think you've made the only decision you can for the health and future of your family.
Many hugs; beads rattling and crossing all body parts for you :wink:
You and husband have put everything of yourselves into the tweedles for the last seven years and have left absolutely no stone unturned. Now your body is telling you it can't go any further without serious rest and repair, the kind that cannot include the day to day combat that is life with a difficult child. As we both know, sometimes all the love in the world isn't enough :frown:
You're one of the best warrior moms I know but you are only human and you need to get yourself well again before attempting to continue the good fight. On some level KT knows this I'm sure, and hopefully long term she will come to understand it and work through and past it. But for right now, you are your number one priority and her inability to process it or her inability to deal with other issues involving anger without physical violence will put you in jeopardy. By getting healthier, you will be able to be there for KT & WM in the future; I think you've made the only decision you can for the health and future of your family.
Many hugs; beads rattling and crossing all body parts for you :wink:
Oh Linda, I know that this is such a hard step to take. I know that you have NEVER wanted this outcome, but reality is that it may be what YOU need right now. You have poured your everything into the tweedles, this health crisis may be a result of the constant, non-stop, unbelievable pressure cooker you have lived in.
I have serious health issues, which include major pain (and pain management issues such as rest, staying still, seriously major medications that many people have given me grief for). I know part, a very small part, of what you have gone through and are going through. I know that living with the threat of physical violence will make healing your body impossible.
Just because kt goes to a residential facility now does not mean you do not love her. It means you love your entire family enough to take the steps you need to in order to preserve it long run.
I stepped away from day to day ANYTHING with my difficult child. Had to. You know I had no choice. I could have dragged it out, but it would have messed up the other 2 kids. I won't kid you. It hurts. It was more than a year before I could even look at his baby pictures (and my littlest looks so much like him that some of his pictures made me cry). I cried and screamed and raged for quite a while. I kept it to myself, only when kids were in school or out with husband. I did cry muchly with husband.
You and your husband may need couples therapy to help with this step, whatever direction you decide to go with it.
I know, as will your children when they are mature enough, that you have already walked through the fires of H to save them, that you and husband have done everything humanly possible. And that your love for kt and wm will never end, no matter what addresses you all have.
Very Gentle Hugs,
Susie
I have serious health issues, which include major pain (and pain management issues such as rest, staying still, seriously major medications that many people have given me grief for). I know part, a very small part, of what you have gone through and are going through. I know that living with the threat of physical violence will make healing your body impossible.
Just because kt goes to a residential facility now does not mean you do not love her. It means you love your entire family enough to take the steps you need to in order to preserve it long run.
I stepped away from day to day ANYTHING with my difficult child. Had to. You know I had no choice. I could have dragged it out, but it would have messed up the other 2 kids. I won't kid you. It hurts. It was more than a year before I could even look at his baby pictures (and my littlest looks so much like him that some of his pictures made me cry). I cried and screamed and raged for quite a while. I kept it to myself, only when kids were in school or out with husband. I did cry muchly with husband.
You and your husband may need couples therapy to help with this step, whatever direction you decide to go with it.
I know, as will your children when they are mature enough, that you have already walked through the fires of H to save them, that you and husband have done everything humanly possible. And that your love for kt and wm will never end, no matter what addresses you all have.
Very Gentle Hugs,
Susie
timer lady
Queen of Hearts
I apologize for not replying sooner - health issues are getting in the way at this end.
husband & I have spoken with our mental health case manager; he is going to set up a 20 day respite to give my body a chance to heal. Also to give husband & I a chance to see our counselor & spend time alone together. CM will support whatever decision is made.
His concern is making a decision of this nature when I'm not in a good place health wise. And he is correct.
I appreciate all the kind words of support. It brought tears to my eyes.
All I can say at this time is that life moves on & I plan on being on the next train.
Thanks again.
husband & I have spoken with our mental health case manager; he is going to set up a 20 day respite to give my body a chance to heal. Also to give husband & I a chance to see our counselor & spend time alone together. CM will support whatever decision is made.
His concern is making a decision of this nature when I'm not in a good place health wise. And he is correct.
I appreciate all the kind words of support. It brought tears to my eyes.
All I can say at this time is that life moves on & I plan on being on the next train.
Thanks again.
Suz
(the future) MRS. GERE
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: timer lady</div><div class="ubbcode-body">His concern is making a decision of this nature when I'm not in a good place health wise. And he is correct.</div></div>
Linda, I've been out of town and I'm so sorry I couldn't respond sooner.
My heart is breaking for you. I don't see how you could possibly have gone through the last many months without feeling severely depressed and discouraged right now. You simply have to put your health first right now. I think you are making a wise choice to NOT make other choices now.
I wish I could give you a big hug.
Suz
Linda, I've been out of town and I'm so sorry I couldn't respond sooner.
My heart is breaking for you. I don't see how you could possibly have gone through the last many months without feeling severely depressed and discouraged right now. You simply have to put your health first right now. I think you are making a wise choice to NOT make other choices now.
I wish I could give you a big hug.
Suz
G
guest3
Guest
<<<HUGS>>> and Prayers ><>
I can only imagine your heartache. As I watch difficult child II decline (again) I fear having to make a smiliar decision someday in the future. I am so sorry and I pray you feel better soon, there's nothing worse then chronic pain, I praise God every Day that my Interstatial Cystitis has been in "remission" for over 5 years.
I can only imagine your heartache. As I watch difficult child II decline (again) I fear having to make a smiliar decision someday in the future. I am so sorry and I pray you feel better soon, there's nothing worse then chronic pain, I praise God every Day that my Interstatial Cystitis has been in "remission" for over 5 years.
SearchingForRainbows
Active Member
Linda,
I briefly visited here last night but couldn't respond because of difficult child issues. However, I've been thinking and praying for you, husband and kt...
You are a truly remarkable woman. Your wise advice, humor, determination, and courage have helped me in dealing with my difficult children so many times!!!
As I've said over and over again, kt and wm are very, very, fortunate to have you in their lives... I know you and husband will do what is best for your family.
I agree - You must take care of your own health. You must put your needs first. You cannot possibly get the rest you need to recover and deal with kt's unpredictable nature at the same time. You cannot live with kt being physically aggresive.
I know how much you love your children. I'm glad that kt is going to respite to give you time to recover and think. In the end, I totally support you in whatever decision you and husband reach.
I know that you will tackle this hurdle and reach the other side even stronger...
Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers...
Sending lots of cyber hugs...WFEN
I briefly visited here last night but couldn't respond because of difficult child issues. However, I've been thinking and praying for you, husband and kt...
You are a truly remarkable woman. Your wise advice, humor, determination, and courage have helped me in dealing with my difficult children so many times!!!
As I've said over and over again, kt and wm are very, very, fortunate to have you in their lives... I know you and husband will do what is best for your family.
I agree - You must take care of your own health. You must put your needs first. You cannot possibly get the rest you need to recover and deal with kt's unpredictable nature at the same time. You cannot live with kt being physically aggresive.
I know how much you love your children. I'm glad that kt is going to respite to give you time to recover and think. In the end, I totally support you in whatever decision you and husband reach.
I know that you will tackle this hurdle and reach the other side even stronger...
Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers...
Sending lots of cyber hugs...WFEN
DDD
Well-Known Member
There is no way to know what longlasting positive impact your
love and devotion will have on one or both of the children. It
has to be extremely difficult to face this decision but nary a soul could ever criticize you and your husband. You have given truly
monumental effort on a daily basis. Sending prayers and hugs
your way. DDD
love and devotion will have on one or both of the children. It
has to be extremely difficult to face this decision but nary a soul could ever criticize you and your husband. You have given truly
monumental effort on a daily basis. Sending prayers and hugs
your way. DDD
