Steely
Active Member
Well, my son, once again is having a horrible time. And I feel so scared. I just don't know where to turn anymore.
It seems, his whole life, everywhere I turned, was useless. No one ever seems to know how to "treat" difficult child, or what his real, complete, diagnosis is. And it seems no one particularly cares, because he is difficult to treat, let alone talk to. His grandparents, though they love him, are pretty much over him - and he them. His dad, who has been out of the picture his whole life - is now an enabling, dysfunctional presence in his life that does more harm than good. And I have stuck it out, and tried to be the one person in difficult children life that was a consistent positive force.
I borrowed money from my parents to care for difficult child for the last 4 years, thinking that homeschooling him, and spending my whole day taking him to therapy, classes, and extra tutoring would be the thing for his success. Not.
Now that he is 17, I have given up. I went back to work, full time, last month - and he is now floundering around on his own - in his difficult child never never land. He starts, supposedly, his GED classes next week - my one prior stipulation for him staying in our home.
However, he is now taking over the house with his excessively, entitled, aggressive, behavior. He has decided to move into the living room, with his computer, and "live" there. I guess in an effort to assert his domination in a life where he feels he has no control? Who knows the psycho babble reason for it - but I am done. He shouts verbal abuse at me from the couch, refusing to move back into his room. He sleeps all day, plays his game all night - and now I am going crazy. No matter what consequence I lay down, he refuses to move from the living room. I know, in addition to many other adjectives for this, it is weird.
So now, I am going to have to force his hand and follow up on my threat of him moving out. I guess, it is coming down to not seeing any other way. The whole thing is just too unhealthy for me - and for him. It seems too late for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - and living with someone else is obviously not an option. I am worried though, how am going to get him to move out, if he won't get off the couch?
I am too tired to do this anymore. I am having all sorts of wonky thoughts and ideations go through my head...........and I know it is because I am literally on the edge of sanity with difficult child, my dad having cancer, and my new career. Thankfully my therapist, of 5 years, suggested we see each other on Sat - which she has never done before.
Any advice, prayers, or help - much appreciated.
It seems, his whole life, everywhere I turned, was useless. No one ever seems to know how to "treat" difficult child, or what his real, complete, diagnosis is. And it seems no one particularly cares, because he is difficult to treat, let alone talk to. His grandparents, though they love him, are pretty much over him - and he them. His dad, who has been out of the picture his whole life - is now an enabling, dysfunctional presence in his life that does more harm than good. And I have stuck it out, and tried to be the one person in difficult children life that was a consistent positive force.
I borrowed money from my parents to care for difficult child for the last 4 years, thinking that homeschooling him, and spending my whole day taking him to therapy, classes, and extra tutoring would be the thing for his success. Not.
Now that he is 17, I have given up. I went back to work, full time, last month - and he is now floundering around on his own - in his difficult child never never land. He starts, supposedly, his GED classes next week - my one prior stipulation for him staying in our home.
However, he is now taking over the house with his excessively, entitled, aggressive, behavior. He has decided to move into the living room, with his computer, and "live" there. I guess in an effort to assert his domination in a life where he feels he has no control? Who knows the psycho babble reason for it - but I am done. He shouts verbal abuse at me from the couch, refusing to move back into his room. He sleeps all day, plays his game all night - and now I am going crazy. No matter what consequence I lay down, he refuses to move from the living room. I know, in addition to many other adjectives for this, it is weird.
So now, I am going to have to force his hand and follow up on my threat of him moving out. I guess, it is coming down to not seeing any other way. The whole thing is just too unhealthy for me - and for him. It seems too late for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - and living with someone else is obviously not an option. I am worried though, how am going to get him to move out, if he won't get off the couch?
I am too tired to do this anymore. I am having all sorts of wonky thoughts and ideations go through my head...........and I know it is because I am literally on the edge of sanity with difficult child, my dad having cancer, and my new career. Thankfully my therapist, of 5 years, suggested we see each other on Sat - which she has never done before.
Any advice, prayers, or help - much appreciated.