It's been 7 years since my daughter turned 18 and I last posted. Borderline (BPD), depression, ADHD. Won't take medications. She decided to 'travel the world' 2 years ago. Used the apartment rental 'damage deposit' money she begged me for to supplement her one-way ticket to Germany. She has a 'benefactor' back home who has been funding her trip for the past 2 years with intermittent begging for money from us to make ends meet when she starts buying expensive things or wants to party. She's been everywhere in Europe and Asia. Many unstable relationships, drug & alcohol abuse, bar fights resulting in concussions and numerous other events that don't seem to plague 'regular tourists'. I visited her last October in Asia - a week later she had a fight with her boyfriend, took a late night motorcycle taxi and was robbed of everything she owned, including passport, phone, money. That cost us $2500 and several sleepless nights dealing with embassies. Hasn't worked a day to support herself. Last month she was arrested for damaging hotel property while having a fight with a guy. Hotel called me and demanded $2K. Got our government authorities involved and ended up paying $1K to get her out (so much for detachment). Said she landed a job but when the start date came, the job "didn't pan out". She really only calls when she needs something or gets into trouble, which is usually every couple of months. If we don't do as asked, we get the suicide threats. We've given thousands of dollars of bail-outs. Now she wants me to pay for a one-way ticket "home" (another $1500). We've discussed what "home" means in regards to rules and conditions. She was approved for a day treatment program five years ago but would not go. We have stipulated that in order for her to come home she would have to attend the 6 week program, which includes DBT, take any prescribed medications and look for work. She states that "she needs time to decompress" from all of the bad things that have happened to her and then she's just going to work to get enough money to start traveling again. Her latest phone call/email rant states that I am not being even remotely "humane" and that I prefer to keep her overseas without any form of help instead of flying her back home. She tries to rationalize that I have continued to give her money that has accumulated to MORE than a flight back to North America would cost. I suppose it is really just geography. If she were at home, we'd still be supporting her financially. When she's overseas, we've been giving occasional assistance. I think her money-train benefactor is tiring of waiting for her to come back. Our house has been peaceful since she has not lived with us. We no longer keep a phone in the bedroom and don't answer calls after 10pm. We sleep through the night! We have slowly repaired/replaced damaged doors, walls, windows, etc. that she destroyed in her rages. The lies, theft, deceit, manipulations are less from a distance. I know my husband and I can't go back to that lifestyle. I thought I was detached. Apparently, I'm not. I thought her jail stint at the end of July would be a wake-up call and that maybe she had hit rock bottom. I was wrong. I need to end this horrible cycle. She is 25 years old. Is this time to do it? Or do I cave in, fly her "home" and deal with the consequences?