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Seven years later - daughter on another continent - same issues
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 699774" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>NO MONEY should be a given. It is one thing to help out when YOU want to, it is another to be harrassed and blackmailed into it. She is 25. At that age I was married and expecting my 2nd child, not expecting to be treated like a child by my parents. If she were in the US, she would be of age to have finished college and be working to build a career. Her career is clearly traveling on someone else's dime, fraud, and emotional blackmail. Let her support herself on that or whatever else she wants to do with her life.</p><p></p><p>The others are right about replying. Short and sweet is best. Nothing you say will really matter, and the more you say, the more she will twist your words to upset you and manipulate you. </p><p></p><p>My brother used to do this to my parents. He also waited until my parents had company to ask for outrageous things or drop bombshells. My mom finally got tired of it and of being his personal storage unit. He announced a plan to walk to Washington (we live in the center of the country, not near either Washington) and the ONLY response he got totally ended the conversation for the dinner. All my mom said was "That's nice. Where are you going to put your stuff while you are gone?" He was mid-20s and still had all his stuff in his old room at their home. Bro was NOT happy because he didn't get his conflict fix. </p><p></p><p>Tell her you are happy she is happy, and you know she will figure out a solution to her problems, and that you have absolute faith in her ability to navigate this life she has chosen on her own terms. Then go do something that you truly enjoy!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 699774, member: 1233"] NO MONEY should be a given. It is one thing to help out when YOU want to, it is another to be harrassed and blackmailed into it. She is 25. At that age I was married and expecting my 2nd child, not expecting to be treated like a child by my parents. If she were in the US, she would be of age to have finished college and be working to build a career. Her career is clearly traveling on someone else's dime, fraud, and emotional blackmail. Let her support herself on that or whatever else she wants to do with her life. The others are right about replying. Short and sweet is best. Nothing you say will really matter, and the more you say, the more she will twist your words to upset you and manipulate you. My brother used to do this to my parents. He also waited until my parents had company to ask for outrageous things or drop bombshells. My mom finally got tired of it and of being his personal storage unit. He announced a plan to walk to Washington (we live in the center of the country, not near either Washington) and the ONLY response he got totally ended the conversation for the dinner. All my mom said was "That's nice. Where are you going to put your stuff while you are gone?" He was mid-20s and still had all his stuff in his old room at their home. Bro was NOT happy because he didn't get his conflict fix. Tell her you are happy she is happy, and you know she will figure out a solution to her problems, and that you have absolute faith in her ability to navigate this life she has chosen on her own terms. Then go do something that you truly enjoy! [/QUOTE]
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Seven years later - daughter on another continent - same issues
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