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Parent Emeritus
Several questions ~~need input from you all
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar I" data-source="post: 47256" data-attributes="member: 3755"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: hearthope</div><div class="ubbcode-body"></p><p></p><p>I know none of them know the whole story, but I feel like I have been beat-up today </div></div></p><p></p><p>You have been beat up, hearthope.</p><p></p><p>This is the time you need to learn to trust your own mind.</p><p></p><p>You may make a wrong choice. None of us who finds ourselves in this situation has any experience with motivating a child who is self destructing ~ or explaining that situation to family or to former friends of the difficult child. </p><p></p><p>You get to make a wrong decision once in awhile. You are learning, too. Forgive yourself and go on.</p><p></p><p>Do the best you can, the best you know.</p><p></p><p>That is enough.</p><p></p><p>It will not be perfect, and that is okay.</p><p></p><p>There is no one who has not been through this who could ever understand what it is like to watch a child self-destruct. Those who call now or who offer advice or compassion now are doing the best they know. If you can think of some phrase which will get you through the immediate situation, write it down next to the phone or carry it in your pocket, and use it when these kinds of things occur. Things that worked for me were phrases like "protracted adolescence" or "exploring those other paths" or "I know! I can't wait until THIS phase is over".</p><p></p><p>And all I was looking for was some way to accept the compassion or the question without falling apart myself ~ the pain of it all ~ as you know ~ is that intense.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar I, post: 47256, member: 3755"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: hearthope</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I know none of them know the whole story, but I feel like I have been beat-up today </div></div> You have been beat up, hearthope. This is the time you need to learn to trust your own mind. You may make a wrong choice. None of us who finds ourselves in this situation has any experience with motivating a child who is self destructing ~ or explaining that situation to family or to former friends of the difficult child. You get to make a wrong decision once in awhile. You are learning, too. Forgive yourself and go on. Do the best you can, the best you know. That is enough. It will not be perfect, and that is okay. There is no one who has not been through this who could ever understand what it is like to watch a child self-destruct. Those who call now or who offer advice or compassion now are doing the best they know. If you can think of some phrase which will get you through the immediate situation, write it down next to the phone or carry it in your pocket, and use it when these kinds of things occur. Things that worked for me were phrases like "protracted adolescence" or "exploring those other paths" or "I know! I can't wait until THIS phase is over". And all I was looking for was some way to accept the compassion or the question without falling apart myself ~ the pain of it all ~ as you know ~ is that intense. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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