LittleDudesMom
Well-Known Member
JJJ,
you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong in front of her....
Sharon
you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong in front of her....
Sharon
smallworld
Moderator
JJJ, I just throw this out there because you are struggling so hard with Kanga right now.
Therapy is very important to bring the patient back to reality. However, the patient may not truly be able to access therapy without having optimal medications on board. With deeply entrenched psychosis, a patient may need both an older antipsychotic (for example, Haldol, Stelazine, Moban, Trilafon, Mellaril, Navane, Thorazine) PLUS a newer atypical antipsychotic like Abilify (and Kanga is at the highest FDA approved dose of 30 mg). Furthermore, if she truly has a diagnosis of schizoaffective (vs. scyhizophrenia), she may need a mood stabilizer (Depakote, Lithium, Lamictal, Trileptal, Tegretol). Finally, Vyvanse could be destabilizing her and making her psychosis worse. I hope you will talk to the psychiatrist ASAP about optimizing Kanga's medications.
Hang in there. I know today is not going to be easy.
Therapy is very important to bring the patient back to reality. However, the patient may not truly be able to access therapy without having optimal medications on board. With deeply entrenched psychosis, a patient may need both an older antipsychotic (for example, Haldol, Stelazine, Moban, Trilafon, Mellaril, Navane, Thorazine) PLUS a newer atypical antipsychotic like Abilify (and Kanga is at the highest FDA approved dose of 30 mg). Furthermore, if she truly has a diagnosis of schizoaffective (vs. scyhizophrenia), she may need a mood stabilizer (Depakote, Lithium, Lamictal, Trileptal, Tegretol). Finally, Vyvanse could be destabilizing her and making her psychosis worse. I hope you will talk to the psychiatrist ASAP about optimizing Kanga's medications.
Hang in there. I know today is not going to be easy.
tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
How did things go this morning?
JJJ
Active Member
It went okay. She's so clearly not 'there'. She was a sad little mouse - like she knew we were mad but was clueless as to why, claimed she didn't remember things that really happened but seemed confused as to why we insisted things she said happened, didn't occur.
I stayed strong in that sibling contact remains suspended. therapist didn't let me get as harsh as I wanted to be because she thought it would be counterproductive (but I would have felt better!!)
therapist is going to write up a report that these allegations have been reported so that we do not have to go through this again.
WRT medications, I'm hoping the new psychiatrist will be willing to make some changes.
She either doesn't know or doesn't care what she puts the rest of us through. I'm just so tired. 968 days...
I stayed strong in that sibling contact remains suspended. therapist didn't let me get as harsh as I wanted to be because she thought it would be counterproductive (but I would have felt better!!)
therapist is going to write up a report that these allegations have been reported so that we do not have to go through this again.
WRT medications, I'm hoping the new psychiatrist will be willing to make some changes.
She either doesn't know or doesn't care what she puts the rest of us through. I'm just so tired. 968 days...
gcvmom
Here we go again!
That's a huge relief! Hard to understand why they didn't do this before...
If they don't seriously re-examine her medications, then I don't see how they can expect you to keep trying.
Do you keep a personal journal for these things? A place you can vent as openly as you need to for times like this when you don't get to say everything you want to her? I hope so.
I'm sorry she is so ill, JJJ. I'm sorry for what she's put you through.
(((((Hugs)))))
JJJ
Active Member
This was done before but they are going to take what was done before and add in their documentation so HOPEFULLY we do not have to go through this again. We are also reconsidering transferring her as we do not want to give her a new staff to bamboozle.
JJJ--
I understand where you are coming from...
It is so hard to be the patient, kind, loving, forgiving parent when there just hasn't been any acknowledgment of the wrong. There's been no apology--not even a "my bad"--just more anger spewed at you as though it is somehow your fault. And then when you become upset--you are blamed again for your feelings, as though your reaction is somehow unreasonable.
I think you need to take a break from Kanga--no matter what she thinks she needs right now. You have to protect yourself.
And then, when you are feeling better and stronger, you can visit and telephone again...
I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. How are the other kids holding up?
--DaisyFace
I understand where you are coming from...
It is so hard to be the patient, kind, loving, forgiving parent when there just hasn't been any acknowledgment of the wrong. There's been no apology--not even a "my bad"--just more anger spewed at you as though it is somehow your fault. And then when you become upset--you are blamed again for your feelings, as though your reaction is somehow unreasonable.
I think you need to take a break from Kanga--no matter what she thinks she needs right now. You have to protect yourself.
And then, when you are feeling better and stronger, you can visit and telephone again...
I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. How are the other kids holding up?
--DaisyFace
gcvmom
Here we go again!
Totally understand what you're feeling. It's okay to be angry with her. There's no timeline for forgiveness. You'll get there eventually. For now, go to the batting cages, or buy some dishes at the dollar store, get some safety goggles and play frisbee with them in the backyard, buy some modeling clay to pound and squeeze, go for a good, long run, dig in the dirt, chop some wood, knead some dough, or anything else that you think will help you get that anger and rage out.
ThreeShadows
Quid me anxia?
JJJ, You have my sympathy. This is so hard. I would take a break. It's too easy for tdocs to ignore the fact that moms are people too. We hurt too.
Maybe we can start a daily countdown until she is 18 and write something inspirational for you everyday next to the countdown.
Maybe we can start a daily countdown until she is 18 and write something inspirational for you everyday next to the countdown.
ThreeShadows
Quid me anxia?
967 days.
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.
Emily Dickinson
Hope
Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.
Emily Dickinson
JJJ
Active Member
I spoke with new psychiatrist. She is willing to entertain the idea of new/more medications but she wants to try abilify prn for a month first. I told her the problem was that often Kanga doesn't know her reality is 'off' and sometimes she likes the voices and isn't going to ask for a pill to make them go away. But it does sound like we will be looking to add Seroquel or Thorazine next month.
And, because I needed a piece of good news...Kanga's grant has been renewed until May 2011 (May 2011 will bring us to 520 days on the countdown!)
And, because I needed a piece of good news...Kanga's grant has been renewed until May 2011 (May 2011 will bring us to 520 days on the countdown!)
YEAH!!!!!!!
I cannot even begin to tell you how relieved I am, JJJ! I was *really* worried that the way they seem to be doing things nowadays would put you guys in a real bind. Honestly, I don't think I could be any more relieved if they gave thank you his grant back.
You guys definitely need this.
What a huge weight off your shoulders.... I am just grinning from ear to ear for you. Phew/whew!
I cannot even begin to tell you how relieved I am, JJJ! I was *really* worried that the way they seem to be doing things nowadays would put you guys in a real bind. Honestly, I don't think I could be any more relieved if they gave thank you his grant back.
You guys definitely need this. What a huge weight off your shoulders.... I am just grinning from ear to ear for you. Phew/whew!
JJJ
Active Member
I cannot even begin to tell you how relieved I am, JJJ! I was *really* worried that the way they seem to be doing things nowadays would put you guys in a real bind. Honestly, I don't think I could be any more relieved if they gave thank you his grant back.
What a huge weight off your shoulders.... I am just grinning from ear to ear for you. Phew/whew!
Sue,
You and I both! SASS and Residential Treatment Center (RTC) say we have the best Collab worker. In fact our Collab worker told Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to back off on the rush for family off-campus visits. Having only met Kanga through her paperwork, she seems to get her! No sweet little doe-eyes to distract her!
(I wish we could share the grant with thank you.)
